Imajerk17 Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 (edited) What have you learned about yourself and other people while dating? As for myself, I have found dating exhilarating and exasperating. I've learned a lot about controlling my emotions. I HAVE lost my temper a couple of times but one thing I am proud of is that I have NEVER passed on any bad behavior I've received, on to other people. I've had women blow off dates but I have never blown off a date with a woman. Why would I? The blow-offs I've received certainly aren't the fault of this new woman, and she deserves to be treated with respect. (1) Getting too worked up over an early rejection usually reflections on issues on my end. I'll tell a story. A month ago, I met a woman online, who really poured on the compliments. We met and got quite physical. That was our only date, as after we met she (finally after some prodding on my part) said the chemistry wasn't there for her. For all the "amazingly rare" things that she seemingly saw in me, she STILL did not want a second date with me. Now a month later, I notice that she took her profile down. That admittedly really threw me--both her rejection AND her taking the profile down. See for all the "amazingly rare" qualities that I had, I still couldn't get a second date with her. It really really hit on some deep-rooted long-term insecurities of mine, and just made me question my intrinsic value as a man. I think she now has a boyfriend, and I suspect that her new boyfriend with now doesn't have all those "amazing rare" qualities that I have. But he was able to get her and I was not. (2) You have to deserve that you want. By that I mean that you have to stand out in a positive way. This comes down to lifestyle, but it also comes down to social skills, knowing who you are, your strengths and weaknesses (see my second paragraph). I happen to love athletic women who are in shape. A woman who is in shape probably wants a guy who is in shape. Well, I push myself in the gym and am doing my first CrossFit team competition in October. (3) I've learned to be more compassionate of other people. Dating is hard on everyone. Everyone is insecure about something. I have talked to some beautiful, amazing, women who are frustrated with not being able to hold a guy's interest. A very big concern of them is being loved only for being a "trophy", and NOT for being the individual that she is. I can empathize with that, especially after the experience that I had a month ago. And even people's bad behavior--the one answer I've gotten more than anything when I have confronted someone over a disappearing act is "I am just not good at saying things I don't think people want to hear." Anyway this is my list so far. Would be interested to hear others' lists. Edited August 25, 2012 by Imajerk17 1
Pyro Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 Be honest. Sooner or later they will see through your BS Don't be a yes man. No one likes/respects someone who will always do as you say and agree with everything that you think/say. Most important of all: be confident. No regrets and no fear. 1
ThaWholigan Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 Be honest. Sooner or later they will see through your BS Don't be a yes man. No one likes/respects someone who will always do as you say and agree with everything that you think/say. Most important of all: be confident. No regrets and no fear. I could have written this! I'd like to add that taking dating too seriously is not always the best route to success.
Hopeful30 Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 ive learned that im too nice and always think about other people first when i changed that and started thinking for myself and what i want, it became more hard to find a boyfriend because after i developed that attitude, the only guys that like me are doormats when i was too nice, i always got aggressive and bossy men, now that i dont care too much about pleasing people, i get shy and quiet guys but i dont like shy and quiet
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