Woggle Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 I know many men who just will not fully give themselves to a woman and in every case there was somebody in the past that cheated on them or gave them the I love you but I am not in love with you speech or in general crushed their heart. These guys are just determined to never let a woman screw them over like that again so they keep their emotions to themselves and have a cold attitude towards women. It almost disturbs me how cold and businesslike my friend is towards his GF he just broke up with but in the past he gave his heart to a woman and she shredded it. It will not happen again to him. I think something inside a man's romantic nature just dies inside of them after their first betrayal. I have seen friends destroy relationships with good women because of it and if I don't get over my crap I will destroy something great as well but I don't know how to bring something that is see as dead. I wish I had one of those MIB mind eraser things so I would be able to just forget all that drama and live innocently like I once did. It's really sad that my ex got that kind of love and my current wife gets the caution but that is what betrayal does to a man.
amaysngrace Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 I'm going to find this place called EJs and put happy pills in your cocktail. 3
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 I don't know. Four years ago (almost) a girl acted interested in me and gave me every indication that she liked me. She always made sure though that if I tried to get closer she'd keep me at arms length yet never outright rejected me. Though it's been two years since I last saw her I still hate that she did that (maybe I do hate her for it I don't know) yet I can't get over her she was just that nifty. Since that experience though, I'm definitely more guarded about my feelings and my interactions with women. Probably to the point where I come across as completely disinterested.
SmileFace Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 Obviously not. However what is the difference between male and female in this situation. 5
Mrlonelyone Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 (edited) Never forget. For good reason. However, try not to let caution keep you from moving on with life. As bad as the things you mentioned are consider paternity fraud. Mothers who lie about who their baby's daddy is for what ever reason. Even when the kid starts to obviously not look like the supposed father, they maintain the lie. Perhaps the real father is someone they are ashamed of? (When asked straight out she said to me "A real father would just know." WTH? WTF!) That is what was done to me. The kid is about 10 and he looks practically like a clone of me now. I wonder how she explains that. The fact that I cannot do anything for him, that the rights of bio fathers count for nothing, makes me fell powerless. Yet with all that hurt one would think I would swear off women, I don't even find them all that attractive. With all that I would give perhaps one more woman a try at holding my interest. If I can get past that, then a little heart break has to be easy. tl;dr No matter how bad things are they can always be worse. Edited August 25, 2012 by Mrlonelyone
MercuryMorrison1 Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 I did... It took several years though, and to this day I'm extreamly cautios about who I allow myself to get close with. Time heals all wounds, sometimes it takes alot of time to heal them, but eventually they heal. For me personally I just finally realized that I was never going to have a close intimate relationship with a girl again if I didn't start taking risks and allowing people to get closer to me. 1
Pyro Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 (edited) Yes some of us do. Getting hurt helped me open my eyes more and now I am more alert of certain red flags. I much prefer to be that way then to hold myself back from sharing my life with a truly amazing person. There is a great thing out there called life and it's time to start living it. Edited August 25, 2012 by Pyro grammar 2
irin Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 yes its true, its also their first love as well, and just me pisses me off, i have no patience for hearing about the so called great ex-gf. that eF'ed your heart up.
kaylan Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 This is not just a man thing. Its a woman thing too. Its simply a person thing. In my experience, the people who usually have a staunch view on cheating, (who know they wont tolerate it, and know they wont ever do it to someone), are those who've had it break their heart at a young age. Or theyve seen it tear up someone they care about. I wouldn't say this makes the person completely shut out the opposite sex. They do become cautious and insecure for a while though. And they should be rightfully cautious with their heart. There are a lot of selfish people in the dating game and its better to be safe than sorry. Ill admit that being cheated on by my first love has greatly shaped my development when it comes to relationship, and that its made me wonder about my ability to commit to a woman....but I figure that wont be an issue for me once I meet a girl who seems right for me. I wont dwell on a possible negative outcome. If she fvks up, I can simply leave and find a better woman. No biggie. Life rolls on. And its too short to constantly be looking over my shoulder.
Author Woggle Posted August 26, 2012 Author Posted August 26, 2012 I'm going to find this place called EJs and put happy pills in your cocktail. It's on the Seaside Heights boardwalk right next to the Aztec. Look it up if you want to.
amaysngrace Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 It's on the Seaside Heights boardwalk right next to the Aztec. Look it up if you want to. Oh I see you want my good drugs!! Mmmmokay.
amaysngrace Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 Umm that place is 70 miles away from me. Can I maybe sleep over?
ThaWholigan Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 This happens to a lot of people, although I note that in my lifetime I have known more emotionally intelligent women than men, and as such the men I have known have proven to be naive enough in this area to never completely recover from that first taste of painful heartbreak, for whatever the reason or cause. It depends on the emotional stability and intelligence of the person in question as to how they handle it, and what they can learn from it in terms of positive and negative, and proceed from then. I have never been in love, therefore have yet to have my heart broken - I don't know if that's good or bad, but surely such a test awaits me. I almost look forward to it . 1
phineas Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 Well, i'll never get married again. that's about it.
the ill-made knight Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 Getting hurt is a part of life. Some drink the memories away, some build walls never to venture out again, and some..some just get up after they fall, brush themselves off, and jump off that same cliff again hoping that this time they will land on their feet or at least have someone there this time to help them up. I guess it's just all about the type of person you want to be.
Better_Days Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 never. fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. same mistake will not be repeated. EVER.
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