fortyninethousand322 Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 A while ago I talked to a girl who flaked on me a couple times last year (for just hanging out). We were talking about baseball and how her favorite team and my favorite team will be playing each other in September. I said we should go to a game and she gave a vague yes answer. So now that it's getting closer to September I'm wondering how to proceed. Should I bother with it knowing her history of flaking? How do I make sure she doesn't see this as anything more than just a friendly get together? I want to place a strong emphasis on this: I really do not want this to be a date. I'm looking for nothing more than watching a good game with a friend who is a girl. She's not a particularly good friend but she's the only girl I know who likes baseball. We also have no friends in common so it's not like I could make this some kind of big social get together. Any ideas? If she doesn't want to go it's not that big of a deal to me I guess, I'll still be going to the other games in the series, but it would be nice to have some (female) company for that particular game.
GirlontheLam Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 invite other friends. For example, I hate baseball but I am usually game to go to a game at the right ballpark. But seriously, I go to games with one of my male friends all the time (I like basketball) and I have been for years. No pretense it is a date. Sometimes it is the 2 of us, other times it is with mutual or non-mutual friends.
Mrlonelyone Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 Don't dress like it's a date at all. Not like a drity slob, but not like you want to impress either. Don't act like it's a date, no physical moves, no banter. Now suppose she tries to make it a date? Would you be opposed to it?
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted August 25, 2012 Author Posted August 25, 2012 Don't dress like it's a date at all. Not like a drity slob, but not like you want to impress either. Don't act like it's a date, no physical moves, no banter. Now suppose she tries to make it a date? Would you be opposed to it? What exactly do people wear on dates? The last time I went on a date I wore jeans and a shirt (like a fleece IIRC). I figured on wearing jeans, a team shirt and a ballcap. Banter might be hard to avoid since we'll be rooting for different teams so trash talk might happen. I'm 110% sure she won't make it into a date. 1) she's flaked on me before so I'm certain she doesn't like me like that and 2) she's way more sexually liberal than I am so she's more into the confident sexy type guys. Would I be opposed? I don't know. Things are complicated for me right now. I'm not sure I'm even psychologically ready to date anyone.
Mrlonelyone Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 What exactly do people wear on dates? The last time I went on a date I wore jeans and a shirt (like a fleece IIRC). I figured on wearing jeans, a team shirt and a ballcap. Do you have a raggady old pair of jeans, t-shirt and ball cap? Like you would wear to work in the back yard you know? (Perhaps something with a brown spot that could be chocolate, rust or ...) Point being if it's not a date then you won't care about how you look. Banter might be hard to avoid since we'll be rooting for different teams so trash talk might happen. Awww I can already see how even that might turn into a bit of a moment. I'm 110% sure she won't make it into a date. 1) she's flaked on me before so I'm certain she doesn't like me like that and 2) she's way more sexually liberal than I am so she's more into the confident sexy type guys. This woman is traveling a distance to see you women who are not interested on some level don't do that. (unless it's a Mets Yankee's or Cubs Sox game...a subway game she's coming to you from another city) Would I be opposed? I don't know. Things are complicated for me right now. I'm not sure I'm even psychologically ready to date anyone. No one ever thinks they are ready to date...until they find someone who makes them feel ready to date. How about this. Just go and if you are 100% sure you don't want it to be a date, and she makes a move on you, just say hey this isn't a date. (In the movies after that you have a long kiss and it's shown on the Jumbo tron. Fade to you and her, very old, telling your grandkids how you met. LOL!)
Imajerk17 Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 Sounds to me that what you really want is to put it in a way so that it doesn't sound like a date to her, and so she'll won't be scared off so that she'll end up going w the game to you. Text her straight up that you have the tickets to the game, they're playing X-team, and it should be a good one. If you don't hear from her in a reasonable time frame, text her and ask her if she is still interested, otherwise you'll find someone else to go. If you still don't hear from her or she says no, well you have your answer. Find someone else to go. Problem solved.
maybealone Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 Sounds to me that what you really want is to put it in a way so that it doesn't sound like a date to her, and so she'll won't be scared off so that she'll end up going w the game to you. Text her straight up that you have the tickets to the game, they're playing X-team, and it should be a good one. If you don't hear from her in a reasonable time frame, text her and ask her if she is still interested, otherwise you'll find someone else to go. If you still don't hear from her or she says no, well you have your answer. Find someone else to go. Problem solved. I agree with this, though if you want to be absolutely sure she doesn't think it's a date, you could say you have tickets and wanted to give her first dibs on your extra ticket. That way it's more clear that if she doesn't go, you'll just ask another friend.
somedude81 Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 Why do you want her to go to the game with you, vs going with a buddy. You made a thread about it, so it is obviously important to you.
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted August 25, 2012 Author Posted August 25, 2012 Why do you want her to go to the game with you, vs going with a buddy. You made a thread about it, so it is obviously important to you. Because I think it's good to hang out with opposite sex friends. Having my life be a never-ending sausage fest can't be a good thing. 2
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted August 25, 2012 Author Posted August 25, 2012 This woman is traveling a distance to see you women who are not interested on some level don't do that. (unless it's a Mets Yankee's or Cubs Sox game...a subway game she's coming to you from another city) Well it's a bit complicated in that regard. She's away at college right now but will be back home for that weekend. So I would just drive the 5 minutes to her house and we'd go up together. And yeah, like Imajerk said, I want to phrase it in a way that doesn't creep her out and think I'm trying to get in her pants or anything.
somedude81 Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 Because I think it's good to hang out with opposite sex friends. Having my life be a never-ending sausage fest can't be a good thing. OK, so you absolutely just want this to be just a friends thing. *Poof* William appears and moves thread to Friendship. As for how to invite her and not make it seem like a date. Call her up or how ever you talk, "Hey (her name) you still on for the game (when it's happening.) ? (Her team name) is going down! It would look like Hey Betty, you still on for the game on the 15th? The Rangers are going down! If she says no, then she's not going and leave it at that. If she says yes, then most likely she'll go. To not be a date. Don't buy her ticket Don't buy her any food Keep hands and feet inside the carriage at all times Don't try not to kiss her
Better_Days Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 Don't buy her ticket Don't buy her any food Keep hands and feet inside the carriage at all times Don't try not to kiss her Pretty much this. Don't pay for stuff. Let her pay for her own. When you call her, don't ask her if she wants to go to a game with you. Just tell her lets go. Don't put the emphasis on how it's going to be a fun time together but instead, how great the game will be.
Lobouspo Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 If you really dont want it to be a date, she should buy her own ticket, food, souvenirs, etc. Is she good looking? Is there any chemistry between you two? Now if she is a Yankee fan, you should absolutely feel obligated to buy box seats behind home plate, and anything else her heart desires:D
Recommended Posts