leninjapirate Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 So, recap on my ex situation, my most recent ex kind of harasses me and I try to avoid him as much as possible (J), my ex before that is the one that broke my heart (P). The break-up 'came out of nowhere' while we were apartment-hunting to move in together, and to move abroad together, as I was moving abroad to study and he asked to come with me. We didn't see each other for about a month after the break-up, then we started seeing each (as in hooking up) on-and-off for about six weeks. The entire time he was telling me that he'd want to get back together eventually, but near the end he told me that he didn't love me anymore, so I copped on and stopped it. He said he wanted to stay close friends, but we pretty much haven't spoken since. I'm really glad that I haven't seen him in person all this time, as it would kind of devastate me. His life and appearance have gotten a million miles better, my life and appearance have gotten a million miles worse. After a week or so of us seeing each other, he told me that he'd been out one night with his cousin and his best friend, and one of his cousin's friends randomly kissed him. I hadn't been with anyone else and when he broke up with me he insisted that it would be minimum months if not a year before he got with anyone else, and I believed him because I knew that it had been months to a year or more after all his other relationships. It still makes me feel kind of sick. The girl happens to be a cousin of one of my friends. He's now moving quite far abroad and is having a 'one last hurrah' tonight. He's obviously invited me to go, and she will be there, and her friend, my ex's cousin, is also invited. It's going to be in the small pub that my most recent ex (J) practically lives in, and my former best friend who I'm basically not talking to is also invited. Apart from all these people that it would be awkward for me to hang out with, I know maybe one or two other people, and if J is there they would be hanging out with him. They're also guys, and if J saw me talking to them he would fly into a jealous rage, as he has done when he's seen me talking to them before. It's also that bloated-and-broken-out time of the month, and I already missed another going away thing last night as I just got really upset trying on clothes and feeling awful. If I went out I wouldn't be able to drink at all as I would probably start crying if I did. I really really don't want to see that girl, and I know that if my friends were going that I'd still want to go and just hang out with them and ignore her, maybe leave early or go somewhere else with them after a while. But there will be maximum 10 people there and most likely less so, we'd all be at one table and I'd feel like I had no-one to even talk to. I'm torn between feeling that I just shouldn't go and feeling frustrated that this girl would stop me from going out, because it's very rare that I get an invite to go out anymore. Though I also don't want to go out looking like this, and don't want to take the risk of crying while out, or my ex flipping on me. And I think I'd just get very down going out and not drinking or dancing or having anyone to talk to. My former best friend would be there with the girl as she's sisters with her current best friend, and any friends that I could even try to invite are friends with my former best friend so, inviting anyone would force me into hanging out with both of them. Writing all this out makes me feel like there's no way I can go so I don't know what advice I'm even looking for anymore. I'm tearing up now and I think it's a combination of feeling so isolated and outcast and the idea of actually seeing this girl just making me re-live that whole thing with my ex in my head, which at the time felt like he'd cheated on me, and he said that he'd felt like he had too. I didn't even get invited until long after everyone else. And I straight-away before checking the guestlist told my friend that I'd go, and he didn't even reply, so I feel like I'm not actually even wanted but I already said that I'd go. Thoughts please?
Recommended Posts