David84 Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 I met this girl. Amazing. Everything my Ex wasnt. Everything I missed and wanted. Maybe its a rebound but I have had the biggest smiles and best feelings hanging out with her. Its been 2 weeks, weve had wine all night on a beach, late night dinner downtown, day trip 3 hours away for a sporting event, she paid for dinner and a movie. 5 dates 4 sleepovers 4 sexual encounters on the last 3 sleepovers. Shes very affectonate and touchy and pet names. We get along great and she genunly seems like she is wanting and interested in me. She is out tonight with a guy who she told me about on our first date as being a friend and he took her to a concert tonight. Judging by her facebook pics they seem cozy and its just the two of them at the show, I assume hes paid her way. Im not jealous because its very new and fresh, and im not overly needy and crazy. My question is how should I feel? I know my previous ex told me she was seeing a guy who was a friend and later found out they were sleeping togther while we were in the early stages like this sleeping together too. Should I just accept this is part of the game and enjoy the ride and see where it goes? Feel like the wind has kinda been taken out of my sails and a bit of a reality check realizing i need to come back to earth and might be getting played a little. Whats an effective way of guaging where she is at without coming across as overly interested? I just dont want to invest money effort and time into someone who is sponging it up from a few sources without knowing atleast I can proceed cautiously and knowingly. Make sense?
TaraMaiden Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 You need to establish whether she wants to be exclusive - or not. Once you get her answer, fill in yours....
kassy Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 You might be, but you might not be. Ask her to be exclusive, I think you'll get an answer the. That will make it clear. I have a very good friend who is a single guy. We do a lot together, neither is romantically attracted to the other and we often talk about our love lives and give guy/girl input. My ex got a bit jealous at the beginning, but after he met my guy friend he was fine with it as he realized how platonic it was. In fact me and my ex then became his wing people to help him pick up this chick. If he's a good friend of hers, suggest you guys do something fun together as you'd like to meet him. Don't do the dangerous thing of blaming this girl with the mistakes of your ex. She isn't your ex and should be given a clean slate until she gives you real reasons to doubt her.
Ninjainpajamas Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 You make it sound like you've been on 5 dates and didn't get anything out of it...hows that being played? sleep overs, sex, she's also spending her money and you're being taken advantage of in some way? I think you're jumping the gun a bit and blaming her on your own past, It's just your vulnerability and insecurity...but guess what, you can communicate to her about how you feel and bring up exclusivity, and then you have to trust her. As far as men and women being friends, I'll save that for another topic. You are still getting to know her and in the beginning phases, i wouldn't ruin it over your fears. If she's taking advantage or was using you I think it would have been more obvious, she told you about this guy from the beginning and also let you know that she was going out with him aaaaand you even seen the pictures on FB of them..so clearly she doesn't seem to be hiding this guy and being coy about it. She doesn't sound like a bad person to me from everything you've said that would lead me to believe she is using you in anyway. Go with the flow at this point, don't become panicked or territorial, in the end people are going to do what they want but try communication and expressing how you feel before jumping to conclusion or making assumptions...especially when it comes to a situation you know you're going to be jumpy and insecure about, you have to be open about how you feel and give her a chance and fair treatment to give her explanation. Also I'd keep your emotions in check until exclusivity and/or a relationship is established. Give yourself time to get to know her instead of just jumping on cloud 9.
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