createlearngrow Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 I have been dating this girl for the past 3 months. Everything had been going great until 2 weeks ago. Her parents are going through a bad divorce, her brother physically abused her and her mother forcing them to leave the house, they have been going from motel to motel and recently living in a shelter, she is always soo stressed about work. I have tried to be supportive, loving, to listen and patient partner but, it only does so much. Her texting patterns changed when she is the type of person that is always by her phone. Right after the incident with her brother she became depressed and refused to see me. I really don't know what to do in this situation. I care for her but there doesn't seem to be anything that I could do to help her through this difficult time. HELP!
kassy Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 How old are both of you? What does she do for work? Why out of all of those stresses in her life is work seeming to be the biggest one? Is she now in a shelter away from her abusive brother?
amaysngrace Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 Her mom threw them out but can't she go live with her dad? I know that when I got divorced my son took it badly and acted out in anger. He went to a counselor and that helped him. They shouldn't be living in a shelter though. Even if they are young adults both parents should make sure the children are effected as little as possible. It's their parental duty. It's not the kids fault that the parents are getting divorced.
Author createlearngrow Posted August 25, 2012 Author Posted August 25, 2012 I am 22 and she is 21. She is currently in charge of a GED Program. She can have up to 15 to 30 students at a time. She feels like she is under a lot of pressure to teach so many kids in under a short amount of time when they all have to be tutored individually. Her day begins at 7a and ends at 3p. There is no way she could get time with all of them in a day. The principle at that school even wanted her to take on more students with out hiring someone else to help take on the work load. I know that how ever the day goes at the school it really helps sets the mood for her for the rest of the day. Sometimes. She is living in a shelter at the moment. The shelter only gave them a month to stay there though. So if she can not find a room to stay she will probably be living out of her car.
Author createlearngrow Posted August 25, 2012 Author Posted August 25, 2012 (edited) My gf and her mom are living in the shelter. Her dad is abusive as well. According to my gf they should have gotten divorced when she was 8 but about 2 weeks ago her dad punched her mom and that's when the mom filed for divorce. The shelter that she is at is like first come first serve. So for her to find time to go see some one while still doing homework and work. It seems impossible. Edited August 25, 2012 by createlearngrow
kassy Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 Ok so her job sounds full on, but does it not pay? I mean can't she afford a small place for her and her mum? Does her mum also work? I think the most supportive thing you could do is try to look into alternative accommodation for them. Other shelters, or rental apartments. Call up a women's shelter explain the situation and ask them to give advice on what you can do to be supportive and if they have any suggestions on help re accommodation. If you come up with a short list of realistic options plus contact details of the relevant people for each option that should help them. I think she also needs to get counselling. But finding somewhere to live is clearly a priority.
Author createlearngrow Posted August 25, 2012 Author Posted August 25, 2012 For all the work that she does it only pays 10.25$. She was looking to see if she can afford something small but she has so many loans to pay off from School. Her mom and her work in the same school and they both get payed the same amount. Its really not a lot. Thank you kassy ! I will keep looking into alternative living places for her.
amaysngrace Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 Can't she pick up a part time job that pays better like bartending or waitressing? Her mom can probably get help from a battered women's group. Unfortunately your GF won't get the same help as her mom because she's not a minor. But she should try to do something to earn more money. Even if it's only temporary. Also she can call the bank who gave her the loans. Maybe explain her current situation and see if they can help her in any way. That could alleviate some of her pressures as well temporarily.
Recommended Posts