tallydoo Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 Is it okay to say to someone you're currently reconciling with, "I just don't want to be on the backburner."? Or is that needy and desperate? We agreed to take it really slow when we had the talk--he brought it up--but I'm starting to get antsy. I'm just not sure he's aware of how much broken trust he has to earn back. I'm not terribly insecure about it at this point, but I do want to be pursued, and I don't think he thinks that I want that (we were really good friends before we started dating the first time, and he got to know me as not very girly-girl and I'm pretty low maintenance when it comes to dates and flowers and such). I just want to be romanced a little bit...is it okay to bring that up and make it clear what I want? Or too early for that? We've been in the recon process for about three weeks and are still in the very intentional and somewhat casual stage.
Skalabanan Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 No one here can answer this for you, the only people with the answers are you two as a couple. I am currently two weeeks into a reconciliation and face exactly the same issue, at present I'm playing second fiddle to friends she made in our two month apart. We're meeting tomorrow and both agreed to meet up and have a serious chat about what we want from the next few weeks, months and years. I like you feel like I'm on the back burner, if tomorrows talks don't go well I'll call it off. Since the initial break up I realised how short life really is.
Stanza Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 Can you have a chat about how you want things to go? So if you want x number of dates a week and say: a bit of romancing....but other than that you're cool with time apart? Maybe it's about saying you want a bit of both in a safe way? i think it is important to lay out what you want though and continue communicating in the way that initiated the recon... otherwise it will go pear shaped
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