evangeline6 Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 I don't know how to link the first thread to this one. He's still not mine. Or maybe he is. I didn't talk to him for three days after I broke up with him over text. He didn't want to be my man after four months. He didn't want to be rushed into a commitment. It was the hardest three days of my life not to talk to him. I wrote him a fantastic poem while on valium and he told me not to say I loved him. Really wasn't the reaction I wanted from a love poem. I just expected him to ignore me. Later on he texted to say he couldn't believe I wrote that poem so spontaneously and that it was very thoughtful. Are all Capricorn guys so indecisive and cold? I didn't give him an ultimatum. I just told him to honestly say he wanted me out of his life and I'd leave. But he said he missed me. So I said lets just label this dating, because I don't want to be fwb. I'm applying to doctoral programs so hopefully I'll get into a program on the other coast and I won't have a choice. This doesn't feel like a victory. It's like that Jeff Buckley song. "Love is not a victory march/it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah" He says he doesn't want to hurt me if we get to the same crossroads where he doesn't want to commit to me. But right now, I'm happy just to get a random text at work from him. I just got out of an abusive and manipulative eight year relationship. My ex moved on immediately. He's on his second girlfriend and he's happy, except for the times when he calls for the attempted booty call. I feel like the loser in this, because I've been so alone, working on a thesis, a job, doctoral apps, more job apps, etc. Not a lot of time for friends. Lost my best friend. long story.
Feelsgoodman Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 I have to ask...were you on also valium when you wrote this thread? What does him being a capricorn have to do with anything?? You are applying to doctoral programs yet you still believe in superstitious mumbo jumbo like the horoscope? Have you considered getting the answers you seek by reading the palm of his hand? 1
amaysngrace Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 While feelsgoods reply was a little harsh...he makes a good point. What does his zodiac sign have to do with him not being into you?
Author evangeline6 Posted August 25, 2012 Author Posted August 25, 2012 LOL okay. I know it sounds dumb. But a lot of his traits are similar to that of a capricorn, the indecisiveness, the ambitiousness, the reservedness, the aloofness. I shouldn't have started the post off like that. He's being an ass. I know I'm being too desperate and trying to make it work, when he already has it in his mind it probably won't work. He pursued me until I fell for him and then he drew back. Why do people do that? It's really cruel and stupid. Meanwhile, I'm talking to two other guys as back up. It's dumb. I remember when it was letters and sodas. I wish I could have that again and not have to play this stupid nonchalant "i don't care about titles" game. I'm getting up there in years. I would like to have a boyfriend. not a f*** buddy..
amaysngrace Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 He pursued me until I fell for him and then he drew back. Why do people do that? It's really cruel and stupid. Because some people enjoy the chase more than the kill. It's games. Who needs that?
Snowman219 Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 Because some people enjoy the chase more than the kill. It's games. Who needs that? And a slow death it is...sloooow:p
Ninjainpajamas Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 LOL okay. I know it sounds dumb. But a lot of his traits are similar to that of a capricorn, the indecisiveness, the ambitiousness, the reservedness, the aloofness. I shouldn't have started the post off like that. He's being an ass. I know I'm being too desperate and trying to make it work, when he already has it in his mind it probably won't work. He pursued me until I fell for him and then he drew back. Why do people do that? It's really cruel and stupid. Meanwhile, I'm talking to two other guys as back up. It's dumb. I remember when it was letters and sodas. I wish I could have that again and not have to play this stupid nonchalant "i don't care about titles" game. I'm getting up there in years. I would like to have a boyfriend. not a f*** buddy.. But you're going to settle for being a Fbuddy so what does that make you? Funny how titles are only important when they're going from FWB to dating yet It's essentially the same thing and you're not closer to a relationship if not farther. Don't be a total fool, this guy doesn't want a relationship with you that's why he doesn't want the label. He just wants to bang you while keeping his options open...of course you'll feel empowered by talking to back up men himself but you'll just become emotionally attached while he just retains his stance and could ultimately care less how you feel...although he'll tell you he deeply cares for you. He's strung you along for 4 months and he'll continue to play that hand until you wisen up and give up, and then he'll just say he isn't ready for a relationship...yet that's not the truth, just doesn't want a relationship with you or be with anyone that would pressure him into one so he can cake eat. If that's the kind of guy you want to write love poems for like it's going to make a difference, knock yourself out. Ironically you're going to from one crappy relationship until something lesser and essentially the same unfair, unbalanced compromise but with a different twist. Unfortunately you're just a little out there right now and don't have the sense to see what you're doing and what he's doing, this will once again be a one-sided relationship. He pursued you when you were resistance because it was safe, now that you're coming straight at him with open arms he's like hell no I don't want that, i liked that this girl was distant and closed off because that means I could d!ck around and not be held accountable or liable for her emotions, now she's an open book I have to take responsibility and be pushed for something I really never wanted with her...a relationship. You need to stop believing men and their words and looking at their actions and the writing on the wall, you seem way too vulnerable to manipulation...not sure you've learned much from your past relationship If you're falling for the same traps.
mickleb Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 The occasional text you receive seems to be all you need to feel good about yourself. A tiny crumb of external validation, and you're fine, right? Wrongie. Devote the hours you are wasting on this guy to remembering you are responsible for your happiness. You don't need anyone else to make you feel good. You've just got out of a ridiculously long, abusive relationship. That will have caused a whole load of wounds that will need to heal up properly. Get on it! Otherwise, you'll find Mr Texty here will just weedle his way into them and re-open all the bad sh*t (probably without even realising). No-one else can make you happy. Write this on your thesis notes.
Author evangeline6 Posted August 25, 2012 Author Posted August 25, 2012 Thanks everyone. Some of it was harsh. But you were right to say I'm not in my right mind. I needed it to be said in the plainest, harshest way possible. Thanks for setting me straight. Btw, starting therapy soon because I am realizing how damaged, insane & hurt I've become. Have a good weekend:laugh:
FitChick Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 Yes, I've had similar experience with Capricorns, one twenty years ago so I forgot what they were like until my current one, whom I am cutting loose. I don't want to expend so much energy for so little reward and a lot of aggravation. Interestingly, on an astrology website I asked for a compatibility analysis in case I was imagining things or being dramatic. I was told to continue dating him if I wanted challenges, inconsistency and strange sexual practices. Thank God I hadn't experienced that last bit yet. Sassology is a great astro website for general information. You can check Mars Venus compatibilities. 1
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