Berna Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 Hi everyone, This is my first post here but I have been reading the forums for a while. A little bit of background first. My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship for 10 months now. We also work at the same company (that is how we met) so he travels to my country in every 1-3 months. Regardless the distance I fell in love with him, but from the start he wasn't ready for anything serious. He kept telling me he was not ready for marriage yet (?) but if he ever decided to marry, I would be his wife, yada yada. I don't know whether in the beginning I was patient, or too frightened to lose him, but I played by his rules. When I brought up the question of the possibility of our relationship becoming more serious, he broke up with me. He said the heartbreaking line "I wish you to be happy and to love me as a person..". I was devastated. The next morning I ran back to him. After two months, he broke up with me again when I mentioned this, via email. He said he couldn't be with anyone right now. I didn't reply. After two hours, he calls me. Last time, when he was here in August, I brought it up again. Asked him what he wanted with me. As he said that we have been having a good time, but that this relationship will never get serious, I asked him whether he wants to come here every 2-3 months, have sex with me and then leave, his reply was "no". Then I asked him whether he wanted me to leave. His reply was "If you will be okay, then yes. If you won't, then no." I gave it a thought, and then said "So, if I stay you will be unhappy and if I leave, I will be." He said "Yes". So I tried to get up, and leave, but he didn't allow me to get up (his hand was around my chest). When I asked him why he won't let me go, he said that that was not the moment for people to leave each other. I said that if it is to happen, then there is no right or wrong moment and it doesn't matter if it is now, tomorrow or in two months. He then recommended a break till September when he comes back. We are in a LDR so it's easier to take his time and clear his thoughts. Well, during this break, I did some thinking too. Truth is, I don't want this relationship the way it is. It is killing me to be with someone who doesn't respond and stays with me just because he pities me or feels guilty for screwing me up. I have suffered from depression and he knows it. So, if he doesn't make up his mind for a more serious relationship, I want it to end. The trouble is, we work for the same company, so we will have to communicate on almost daily basis when it comes to work. This makes NC impossible. Also, he will keep coming here every 1-3 because of work, which means that we will have to see each other for 4-5 days. I know this will be killing me. Please give me some advice on how to get over him, now that NC is impossible. Getting another job is a very difficult task, since there are not many jobs here, my budget is pretty low and probably I won't be able to find a job as good as this in a very long time.
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