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Lying to eachother while in a relationship


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Posted

So one of my girlfriends is going through something so I decided to tell the story here so that I/she can get some insight.

 

She has been dating her boyfriend, lets call him Ben, for about five months now. According to me, this guy is a compulsive liar.

 

In these 5 months, she has never been to his house, he has been giving her excuses, telling her he has not finished furnishing his house and all that. Just yesterday, she finds out that he has been lying, apparently, according to him, after she confronted him, he doesnt have his own house and lives with his sister. He said he lied because he was embarassed. He wants her to forgive him.

This guy has been telling my friend about his imaginery home for over 5 months. Telling her how he is lonely at home, how he is struggling to buy furniture for his home, how he is on his way home from his sister's place which is where he supposedly lives now.

She finally confronted him because he never used to pick up her calls as from 7PM, as if he was hiding something.

She is thinking of forgiving him and moving on with the relationship.

I dont know.... Any insight or suggestions??

Posted

I'm guessing that the sister will turn out to be a wife or gf...

Posted

Yeah..your friend is an idiot, according to common sense. The sister is definitely a wife or gf.

Posted

Google him, I bet the sister is his wife.

  • Author
Posted

So there is no way this guy could finally be telling the truth? I feel so bad for my friend, she is tearing up us we read this together.

Posted

If she is his GF, and he is living with his sister, and she now knows he is living with his sister - then say:

 

"I would love to meet her! She must be so nice for you to be living with her, and if we're going to become a close item, and stay together a long time - then I would love to meet her! Wouldn't it be great? We could be such friends!"

 

if he prevaricates..... well.....

Posted
So there is no way this guy could finally be telling the truth? I feel so bad for my friend, she is tearing up us we read this together.

 

Why doesn't he talk to her after 7 pm?

Because wifey is at home.

 

Sorry your friend is upset by this. She can just tell him she wants to meet the sister. If he doddles and makes excuses, drop him.

  • Author
Posted

Apparently she has asked to meet the sister, he said that he and his sister are not so close, he says that he is staying there because he and his ex were living together and he had no place to go after they broke up 9 months ago. and apparently he is having money problems and cant find a place of his own just yet...

Posted

Your friend is very naive. He is definitely married or in a live-in relationship.

 

What is his excuse for not being able to talk after 7pm?

Posted

Oh right.....:rolleyes:

 

He and his sister aren't that close - but she's let him live there - how long?

Really?

 

Yeah. Dump him.

 

More excuses, right?

 

 

Follow him home one night.....then knock on the door.... and walk in.... ;)

 

"Oh what a tangled web we weave

When first we practise to deceive....!"

Posted
Apparently she has asked to meet the sister, he said that he and his sister are not so close, he says that he is staying there because he and his ex were living together and he had no place to go after they broke up 9 months ago. and apparently he is having money problems and cant find a place of his own just yet...

 

so what if they aren't close?

 

Now that the cat is allegedly out of the bag, why can't he have her over at the house he is living at?

  • Author
Posted

I also think he is lying to her. She loves him. I hate how much this is hurting her. His excuse for not talking after 7PM is that his sister's house doesnt have enough privacy. He texts her, but never calls or picks up her calls.

Posted

Jeesh, he has a line for every possible, doesn't he....?

 

Are you sure this isn't - you...?

Posted
Apparently she has asked to meet the sister, he said that he and his sister are not so close, he says that he is staying there because he and his ex were living together and he had no place to go after they broke up 9 months ago. and apparently he is having money problems and cant find a place of his own just yet...

 

Yeah, he and his "ex" are still living together, and she's not an ex.

  • Author
Posted
Jeesh, he has a line for every possible, doesn't he....?

 

Are you sure this isn't - you...?

 

From my previous posts ul see that I just broke up with my boyfriend. so no, its not me.

Posted
I also think he is lying to her. She loves him. I hate how much this is hurting her. His excuse for not talking after 7PM is that his sister's house doesnt have enough privacy. He texts her, but never calls or picks up her calls.

 

OMG!!

that is complete bull****!

 

its a house, not a studio apartment. Does he not at least have his own room where he can talk after curfew?

 

yeah...he texts because "mommy" would hear his conversation with his mistress.

 

tell your friend to run away from this loser.

Posted

Oh, ok. Just wanted to be of more comfort than I sound as if I'm being...

 

This guy's a player, I think.

You have to catch him out though.

Better to know than to dwell on uncertainties....

Posted
I also think he is lying to her. She loves him. I hate how much this is hurting her. His excuse for not talking after 7PM is that his sister's house doesnt have enough privacy. He texts her, but never calls or picks up her calls.

 

He is sooo full of s.hit!! Unbelievable!

 

How does a HOUSE not have enough privacy to talk on the phone? I mean he can't go into, oh I don't know, his bedroom and shut the door?

 

What a jerk, he is taking your friend for a riiiide. Poor girl needs to open her eyes and see this situation for what it actually is.

 

I second the suggestion of showing up unannounced.

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