ParadeRain Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 It's driving me CRAZY now She broke my heart in early June, I'm 20 she's 22 the only girl I've ever been in love with, my first serious relationship, before her I was just another junior heartless bachelor using girls for fun. She said she loved me, was willing to spend the rest of her life with me... But we started to make each other unhappy and it didn't work out, I would give ANYTHING to start again, because no matter how much I hate her now, I LOVE her and I know if I could relive the past 7 months I would cherish the relationship, it was supposed to work! I was foolish and lousy, I didn't know what I had... She walked away from me convinced that it was never going to work. I took it BAD, I hit rock bottom, heart broken, emotionally destroyed, felt like my life was over at 20. It's been 3 months since she left me, the first month was the worst of my life, after that I decided to stop contacting her... For the past 2 months I have been trying hard to move on, infact my life is looking in the best shape it ever has, I landed a new job 3 weeks ago, and today I got another job offer for an even better job... I'm trying to live, but I think about her EVERY DAY, I relate EVERYTHING to her, my mind revolved around her and it's driving me CRAZY, read my one night stand thread here... Being with her just felt to RIGHT, a perfect fit, a completed puzzle, when I think about being with other girls... nothing compares to her, regardless of all her flaws, and I genuinely feeling like I have loved and lost the love of my life at 20... I can't take her off this pedestal because that's just the way it is, I love this girl, but there's no hope for getting her back.... Recently I've been seriously considering therapy... maybe hypnosis or something? I will try anything. I want my mind back, my life is looking good, and I want to enjoy it and feel good again, but she's haunting me, I have not spoken to or seen her for 3 months, but she's constantly on my mind, and I'm still constantly hurting inside it's getting ontop of me. I want to move on, WHY WONT MY MIND MOVE ON????
yessy21 Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 It takes time. it took me three years. Just keep yourself busy and stay NC. I am pretty sure that you will love again.
outofgoodbyes Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 its tough and as bad as this sounds - its really now up to time... staying busy helps me... and everytime i think about mine, i consciously tell myself to stop and not let the obsession get bigger... sounds like you have a lot going on for you... good luck!
not-a-drive-by Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 Sounds exactly like me... Even this warmer weather reminds of the happy days with him. God damn memories.
coltsfan1 Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 Don't feel bad, I still think about my ex from two years ago from time to time. But it fades, will happpen for a week or so, then it leaves as fast as it came. Try and stay busy, NEVER be the one to contact first, and if she contacts you but doesn't meet what you need then YOU quit talking to her.
Appleness Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 I'm so sorry ParadeRain, I know you're probably sick of people telling you that it'll get better but it's the truth. The more you loved her, the more it'll hurt. The hard part is that you have to let yourself fall and you have to be willing to hit rock bottom before it gets better. Don't try to ignore the bad feelings or cushion the pain, just let them come and go because that's the only way you'll get past it. I think we all will miss our exes from time to time, especially when things get tough and we don't have people in our lives that we can share our thoughts with like we did with them. For me, that's the hard part. Take things one day at a time. The pain/ obsessing will lessen but only if you choose to not let those thoughts have control over you. I've come to learn that breakups are really just about control. We are sad and in despair because we feel lost and have no control over our future. Once we regain control over our lives by working on ourselves (whether it's by going to the gym, learning a new hobby, dating someone else) then we're ok again. You'll get there. Everyone is different and it's alright to have your bad days as long as you try to make the next one better. Good luck.
oracle Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 I don't think you ever really FULLY move on till you find one you like just a little bit more.. If you haven't already read my thread pinned to the top of the section. Step back from your emotion and apply the 3 rules to your situation. Breathe, it does get easier
Occu3.14'd Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 I don't think you ever really FULLY move on till you find one you like just a little bit more.. If you haven't already read my thread pinned to the top of the section. Step back from your emotion and apply the 3 rules to your situation. Breathe, it does get easier Therein lies the problem. Many of us here on LS have dated a decent amount of people. At this stage in the game, we know what we're looking for. If I had a checklist with all the amazing qualities I could want in another person, my ex ticked every single box. I really don't see how I'm going to find something better. I really feel like anything else in the future will be settling for second best. But it is what it is.
Author ParadeRain Posted August 25, 2012 Author Posted August 25, 2012 (edited) I don't think you ever really FULLY move on till you find one you like just a little bit more.. catch22 It seems impossible, it's as if dating was eating and I've already eaten far more than I can handle... the thought of taking another bite makes me feel sick, I've tried. I'm getting angry and frustrated and worn out from this heart break, I can't do anything about it, it hurts worse than anything I have ever experienced and there is NOTHING I can do about it... I feel useless as a man and a person, with physical pain at least one has an analysis of the situation... "ok I've broken my arm, the pain is going to suck, the doctors will fix it, the pain will fade and this isn't going to last forever"... But I have no idea about this emotional pain of heart break, what it is, how it can be fixed, when it will fade... it's just THERE and I have to just live with it? ITS PISSING ME OFF I'm not the only person to have loved and lost, I'm sure there's countless people who have experienced this, and I'm sure there's countless people who have found away past it, to shake off the hurt and move on to living their life the way they was before they were heart broken... I need to know how they did it. Edited August 25, 2012 by ParadeRain
Vikki_26 Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 Hi I feel just the same and am seeking counselling, maybe you should too?
RogerWallace111 Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 catch22 I'm getting angry and frustrated and worn out from this heart break, I can't do anything about it, it hurts worse than anything I have ever experienced and there is NOTHING I can do about it... But I have no idea about this emotional pain of heart break, what it is, how it can be fixed, when it will fade... it's just THERE and I have to just live with it? ITS PISSING ME OFF I' Feel ya ^... Fortunately I don't find it debilitating, in fact it kind of has helped me get **** goin, take risks, and focus on achieving what I want to. Yet, it is there, nagging me, keeping my happiness in check, and every so often resurfacing to f*ck me up emotionally. It pisses me the **** off too man. I truly hate it. I think, as has been suggested, time, and a new greater or equal love are the only things that will alleviate the feeling. I don't even think huge success of any kind will do it (though it'll make you feel like the man and help you get a new squeeze). The fresh pain that's pissing you off currently will no doubt subside before too long, but yeah, it's definitely possible you will harbor some sad, nostalgic feelings around the the thought of her for years. But that's not even pain, just wistfulness, and even if youre stuck with it for a while, f*ck it, it'll be easily tolerable. And probably the only way to completely alleviate all that lingering ****, is, yeah, to find a new girl who's even better for you. If you were "using girls for fun" before dating her, this shouldn't be too hard. That means, at least when you locate a girl you wanna give it a shot with, you'll likely have the innate mackin-ness to entice her. Even though it seems like you don't want anyone else right now, you will before long. I'm about 3 months out of **** with my ex of 3.5 years, and am starting to find myself smiling at cute ladies, appreciating them again, and thinking I want one...
Author ParadeRain Posted August 25, 2012 Author Posted August 25, 2012 Hi I feel just the same and am seeking counselling, maybe you should too? I wouldn't know where to start... And highly doubt it will even have any effect... paying a therapist £120 reddies every week to ask me how I feel?
princesss Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 Remember this, pain is only temporary. It may takes months or years to get over something, but you must realize your worth. Put yourself first. You are becoming successful in life, and be proud of that. Success is the BEST revenge. Look at you now, better than ever before. I know it hurts because she was apart of you, but find comfort in other people. Find friends, find someone to talk to, but being alone will just hurt you. You are still very young, 20 years from now (yes I know, along time from now) will she matter? Will you let her affect you this long? Stay strong, keep your head up. We are here for you!
Recommended Posts