iheartsuki Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 I posted on here a lot in the past about my boyfriend....well we finally broke ups few months ago..... I have been on a few dates....none of them really sparked, but just when I was feeling very jaded, I met a really cute guy who seemed sweet. I took it with a grain of salt because he was divorced around the time my relationship also broke up......and he has a 4 month old. He also seems to still have some anger over this and at her. He sent me texts right away after he met me and was persistent... Some things he said indicated that he was a little bit insecure, so I gave him a chance and went on a date. Then I fell hard. I've been trying not to show it, but still, he seems to have backed away a little. He doesn't have ongoing conversations through text anymore and he'll mention the next date but I feel like I have to prompt him for the details the closer it gets. It was even that way with the very first date.....do not sure if it's just part of his personality...? Also.....his baby. I get that he has a baby, but last night he cancelled a date bc the baby was staying with him another night.....and our day date for today is being moved to night bc he has "a ton of **** to get done bc yesterday was a baby day".....but in reality, he only had him a few extra hours. We have already fooled around and on the first date, I ended up in his bed and he was rubbing all over me. :/ My friends think he just wants a$$ bc they think that after a divorce, the court would decide what days he gets the baby....there wouldn't be ambiguity with the schedule, so he's just using this as an out. I don't think that is the case, but I don't know how divorce and custody stuff works. I also dont have kids so dont fully know the realities of that either. It does seem suspicious to me though.... Also, we are both on a dating site....he found out I was when we met and signed up the day after ....we have joked about this, but he's actually on there now....guess he's taking a break from "getting **** done"?? I really like him, but should I just let this one go?? I haven't felt anything for any guy since my ex until now and it's just ****ing hurting already. I'd like to know from the divorced crowd on here if I'm just being bull****ted....and anyone else who may have insight about guys who just want ass vs guys who are possibly scared... He did tell my friend that he said he wouldnt date anyone and "now here he is dating"......he also apparently told her he wants someone to hang out with. He also told me the other night that "if you show a girl too much interest, she'll stop being interested". And he says he has not been on other dates. No idea what to do or think about this one...
wow04 Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 When you date a single parent it is a totally different ball game. Yes there is a court schedule, but not all parents go by that. If my ex husband has something he has to do on his day he will call me to keep the kids. I know my boyfriend will ask to have his kids extra days if possible. With that out of the way, I would be more concerned with him being on dating sites. From what he told your friend, it seems he thinks this is all a game. Only thing you can do is talk to him about it.
veggirl Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 Recent divorce, newborn baby...this guy is not ready to date seriously. You are going to be his rebound if you continue, I would let him go. How many times have you actually gone out with him, you say you've fallen hard..?
Author iheartsuki Posted August 24, 2012 Author Posted August 24, 2012 Thanks for your replies. I have gone out with him a couple of times.....I don't know why I'm already this into him.... We are supposed to have a date tonight actually, and I have not heard anything from him at all today (although he has been on the dating site plenty). Before our first date, he sent me a text a 4:30 in the afternoon the day of to work out the details.....so I dont know if this is just how he is, or if it's a sign he's not into me enough to show some basic respect. My friends seem to think it's not a big deal that he's on a dating site.....since we just met.... I guess....I'm not sure what my next move should be?? Play hard to get and don't talk to him much? If he's feeling scared of being rejected first, do I show more interest in him and be persistent? Do I have a talk with him about what he wants out of this? Or....do I just let this one go altogether.... I'm afraid if I try to talk to him, it will be too much seriousness WAY too soon. Maybe he just needs things to go really really really slow....or then again, maybe he just wants a piece of a$$ and I'm completely over analyzing...
veggirl Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 IMO if he was really feeling you, he wouldn't be active on dating sites. Yeah it's early so he might still have his profile on there but if he is actively seeking out other women, he's not that into you. I mean you are really into him so I assume aren't seeking out other options right? I know technically it's all kosher til exclusivity is established BUT I am not into dating more than one person and wouldn't be into someone who is doing that or trying to do that. If you are interested in someone, you should pursue them and see what happens and if it doesn't work out, onto the next. I would view him being on a dating site as a huge red flag, it would really turn me off.
Author iheartsuki Posted August 24, 2012 Author Posted August 24, 2012 Well, I kinda get the impression that he got the impression right away that I'm the one dating around (I was already on there) and so he joined. Obviously I don't know for sure, but would that make any difference? :/ And still have not heard anything on details on the date for tonight.....there def seems to be something wrong with that....I do NOT like feeling like there might not even BE a date.....just f*cking tell me so I can make other plans...dont waste my time!!!
Lamplight Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 Time to move on! He is ghosting you and definately looking for other women. He is waiting until the last minute for the date because he doesn't want to go. This is how guys dump you now days. They get on the dating site and quit contacting you. It's just downright dirty and cowardly. Sorry this happened to you. Get out before he hurts you further.
TaraMaiden Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 I got by line 7 that you're a welcome physical distraction, when he's got time for you. Not a good thing... He's really not all that in to you.... It's a shame, it's sad, but hey - with a baby and a recent termination of a relationship? Oh boy... how much of a phukk-pillow would you like to be....?
mtber75 Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 He has way too much on his plate to deal with, so yes he probably want some "action" on the side to deal with the stress. Your just crowding him, you have to give him some space. Why don't you just hang out with him as friends first?
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