AwptiK Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 Before I start, first off I know a lot of reactions will be similar to, "Find someone else", but I really just want to figure out how to deal with this situation. Also, I know there isn't much a dumpee can do following a breakup, but if any advice can be had, please share So a little background, i'm 21, this girl is 19. Since college is a large part of these issues, i'm a junior and she just started her freshman year. We started dating around the start of summer, and everything worked out so well between us the entire time. It was never very serious, it was just dating, just having fun, but she always liked to tell me I was everything she wanted and needed in someone. And then, a few days ago, with school on the horizon she began thinking about everything... I'll add, everyone in our lives loves us together, but her father keeps insisting, "You don't need to get all focused on one guy right now" and "I know you fall hard, I don't want you to get hurt again." So, a few days ago there was some tension and she said she needed to think things over. She ended up calling our mutual friend M, who's house I was at during this call.. She talked about how she feels she should leave me, because she needs to focus on herself, school, etc. Although she still said, "I do want to be with him", and other variations. M basically laid it on her harshly that she'd be stupid to leave me with how well I treat her. She agreed, and ended up making up with me. Then, the past two days goes by and things are "fine", but there's not as much connection between us. This comes to a point when she calls me and breaks up with me, on the same grounds as I stated above. I didn't see that as too great a reason, and she even referred to how "M may think it's not a good enough reason, but it really is what I need right now." Then, silence on both our parts. We haven't spoken since then, i've neglected the chance to post a single facebook status, although I recall seeing, "I wish I could go to sleep :'(" from her last night. So, I went over to M's house again last night. Who happens to call just after midnight? My ex. She was bawling.. M retold her all the same stuff he said last time. He basically just kept justifying the fact that she does want to be with me, and how simple it is to date me without stress. And when school came in to the picture, I had said i'd help her with any schoolwork issues and i'd always make sure she focused on school before we spent time together..she agreed and said, "Yeah he did say he would do that..." She said things like, "I really miss him" "I think I f'd up all of this" and one that struck a nerve, "I wish I could just put us on hold for a year and get my mind into school and then start dating him again." / "Part of me wishes he would wait for me." (To which M said, "I'm not even gonna let him wait two weeks." She also brought up (like i've heard she has done about me in the past) some of the sweeter things i've done to/for her, and she brought up how she got flowers just the day before, how her grandma always says, "this guy's really making an effort." She also perfectly recited a text I sent her a few weeks ago, after I first said I loved her, a text...that I know she didn't still have: "I don't say I love you to hear it back, I say it to tell you. I know in time, you'll be able to say it and mean it too." The call ended shortly after all of that, there wasn't a really decisive feed from her.. it was just, "I really need to go to sleep and think about this." M did try and insist, "You should call him right now and talk to him", which didn't happen. I don't know what kind of advice I can get from this, but I appreciate anyone who sits long enough to read all of that. Knowing her, knowing everything in our situation, I do believe she will try and come back. It seems as if, three days ago when things started, she chose me over trying to do things on her own. She thought over that entire two day period (she stated this) and has chosen to try the other side of things. Based on everything, she's going to continue to miss me, remember all the awesome things and times we had, and probably continue to take the, "Why!?!?!" comments from everyone...thus, I believe seeing the other side of things will have her come back around.
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