Author soulforge2010 Posted August 24, 2012 Author Posted August 24, 2012 I don't know. Only you know the answer to this. Do you think she's capable of a mature relationship? Does she bring more happiness to your life when you are with her than sadness and insecurity? You have to weigh everything you know about her to make that decision. BUT - don't get back with her just because she is pregnant. she has dumped me 3 times, once for 8 months, i took her back only 2 months ago, and she screwed up again
ThatJustHappened Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 If she really is pregnant, your best course of action is to NOT give an opinion on what she should do about the pregnancy unless asked. If she DID end up having a baby, you'd be painted as the jerk baby daddy who tried to get her to abort it. Just don't go there. It's her choice. Sucks, but that's the way it is. Don't get back with her no matter what she does. If she ends up really being pregnant, and ends up keeping the baby, you will have to decide what you want to do. But don't worry about that yet. I have to play devil's advocate here and say that I think it's unfair to pin it all on the woman just because she's the one carrying the child. Not voicing an opinion gives the man the justification he needs to walk away from his child at any point saying 'well she wanted it, I didn't..so why should I have to be responsible for it?'. It's a very difficult choice to make and nobody should be forced to make it alone. There's a difference between having no opinion, and voicing your opinion while also being supportive and caring. He could tell her that he doesn't want to have a child right now but that he will be there for her no matter what. I'm talking generally of course, not specifically about this persons situation. If she is pregnant, she might be acting cold because she's scared, in which case I hope, OP, that you will make every attempt to be there for her. If she's not pregnant..I'll say it again..RUN!
Author soulforge2010 Posted August 24, 2012 Author Posted August 24, 2012 I have to play devil's advocate here and say that I think it's unfair to pin it all on the woman just because she's the one carrying the child. Not voicing an opinion gives the man the justification he needs to walk away from his child at any point saying 'well she wanted it, I didn't..so why should I have to be responsible for it?'. It's a very difficult choice to make and nobody should be forced to make it alone. There's a difference between having no opinion, and voicing your opinion while also being supportive and caring. He could tell her that he doesn't want to have a child right now but that he will be there for her no matter what. I'm talking generally of course, not specifically about this persons situation. If she is pregnant, she might be acting cold because she's scared, in which case I hope, OP, that you will make every attempt to be there for her. If she's not pregnant..I'll say it again..RUN! well she did say, she would send me the paper evidence next week, and she would drop by a pregnancy test she has done through the post, maybe she is not bluffing but i do not think she wants to go through with the preganacy
pteromom Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 I have to play devil's advocate here and say that I think it's unfair to pin it all on the woman just because she's the one carrying the child. Not voicing an opinion gives the man the justification he needs to walk away from his child at any point saying 'well she wanted it, I didn't..so why should I have to be responsible for it?'. It's a very difficult choice to make and nobody should be forced to make it alone. There's a difference between having no opinion, and voicing your opinion while also being supportive and caring. He could tell her that he doesn't want to have a child right now but that he will be there for her no matter what. I'm talking generally of course, not specifically about this persons situation. If she is pregnant, she might be acting cold because she's scared, in which case I hope, OP, that you will make every attempt to be there for her. If she's not pregnant..I'll say it again..RUN! I agree with you. I was talking specifically about THIS situation, where this girl seems to be using the situation in a manipulative way.
ThatJustHappened Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 I agree with you. I was talking specifically about THIS situation, where this girl seems to be using the situation in a manipulative way. Ah..gotcha. I agree..in this particular case, it sounds like she's going to do what she wants to do. Hopefully she's lying about the pregnancy. Sorry, not trying to insult you or her OP..but your ex seems rather emotionally unstable and not ready to be a parent.
Tree_Salmon Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 well she did say, she would send me the paper evidence next week, and she would drop by a pregnancy test she has done through the post, maybe she is not bluffing but i do not think she wants to go through with the preganacy I'm telling you, be supportive. You should take my example. Be sweet and supportive till you see the results, then do whatever you want. If this girl is carrying your child (which is also highly in question) you dont want her alienated or distrought to the point of messing up a potential father child relationship in the future. I still think shes putting on an act but you need to think that shes being honest and support her for the time being. Apologize about your earlier statements and go support her until you see the results. Worry about one thing at a time.
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