rach24680 Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 broke up nicely 1 week ago, NC 1 week from both sides. Was my birthday yesterday, i at least thought hed send a happy birthday txt! he didn't. I want to send him a txt saying, "suppose it would have been really difficult to send a happy birthday message to the girl you was with for 4 years" or something like that. Then I'll continue with NC. I don't want to get back with him, just want him to know he's a T***.
TaraMaiden Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 No. He did exactly the right thing. He maintained NC, and perfectly correctly. Any breadcrumbs of that kind light your heart up again, only to dash it to pieces, because you view it as a step towards getting together again - and it never is. Don't be mad at him - be mad at yourself for being mad at him - because unfortunately, your expectations were for him to break NC - and he did the best thing possible by leaving you alone. It's a lose/lose situation for him, but he was right to do it....
Regrets58 Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 I got the happy birthday text! Felt good for a while,she asked what I would be doing.Apologised for not getting a card! Yes it gave me false hope,she still cares maybe there is a chance. All breadcrumbs as TaraMaiden said. He did the right thing,don't think ill of him.
Author rach24680 Posted August 24, 2012 Author Posted August 24, 2012 How do I know he did the right thing for the right reasons? Maybe he did it to not hurt me, maybe he did it because he doesn't care at all. I definately do not want him back I just don't want our 4 years relationship to mean nothing to him. I think what's worse is that your mind fills in the blanks about what he's thinking and going, my minds making him out to be really horrible and therefore making me think bad about him, whereas he might be sad about it all himself, it's **** not knowing.
todreaminblue Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 broke up nicely 1 week ago, NC 1 week from both sides. Was my birthday yesterday, i at least thought hed send a happy birthday txt! he didn't. I want to send him a txt saying, "suppose it would have been really difficult to send a happy birthday message to the girl you was with for 4 years" or something like that. Then I'll continue with NC. I don't want to get back with him, just want him to know he's a T***. I dont judge someone on whether they say happy birthday to me and since you broke up nicely that is better than nastily so the birthday thing isnt really important my ex doesnt wish em happy birthday and we had kids together but.....he does tell teh girls to remember my birthday......which is nice...they probably would forget just like i forget birthdays...i find i celebrate people i love all year round in little ways no one ever complains if i forget their birthday i do feel guilty though....mothers dsay is every day so is fathers day big brothers day sisters day....baptism day all year see.......deb
Fitnerd Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 How do I know he did the right thing for the right reasons? Maybe he did it to not hurt me, maybe he did it because he doesn't care at all. I definately do not want him back I just don't want our 4 years relationship to mean nothing to him. I think what's worse is that your mind fills in the blanks about what he's thinking and going, my minds making him out to be really horrible and therefore making me think bad about him, whereas he might be sad about it all himself, it's **** not knowing. He did the right thing, next week is "her" birthday and I'm not sending a text. I DEFINITELY still care about her, I still think of her, but I'm not sending anything. I initiated NC and I wanna stick to it. Trust me, after a 4 year relationship, he didn't forget about you in a week.
Regrets58 Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 "Her" birthday late December,hoping to be through this before then!
Ani9000 Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 My birthday was on Tuesday and my ex bf sent me a happy birthday text and honestly it did feel good that he remembered but I think it is giving me false hope and that's dangerous. You should just stay strong with NC and try nOt to be mad at him and move on. When his birthday cOmes maybe you guys will be cooled off and friendly enough tO do happy birthday texts. Stay strong
Crila16 Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 No. Why would he txt you? It's over. What are you expecting from him? If it's over, it's over. There's no reason for the niceties. NC is how it's got to be until you both are ok. I understand you were together for 4 years, but obviously he's hurt and a little bitter. Leave him be.
Tree_Salmon Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 broke up nicely 1 week ago, NC 1 week from both sides. Was my birthday yesterday, i at least thought hed send a happy birthday txt! he didn't. I want to send him a txt saying, "suppose it would have been really difficult to send a happy birthday message to the girl you was with for 4 years" or something like that. Then I'll continue with NC. I don't want to get back with him, just want him to know he's a T***. I sent my ex a happy birthday during NC and she used it as a tool to manipulate me later. so I would be very careful about any of that stuff. I never got one from her. I don't think i want one at this point.
TaraMaiden Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 How do I know he did the right thing for the right reasons? This is exactly what I mean about him being in a lose/lose situation: How would he know whether he did the right thing or not? He would have no idea how you'd react to it, and what it would do to your mind... Maybe he did it to not hurt me, maybe he did it because he doesn't care at all. Maybe, maybe, maybe... you see, his intentions are an unknown... You're the one making assumptions as to what 'maybe it is.... because that's exactly what he probably suspected you'd do, whatever he did... I definately do not want him back I just don't want our 4 years relationship to mean nothing to him. I believe the very fact he respected you - and NC - enough, was because it does mean a lot to him - and he doesn't want you to think he's taking it for granted. Look upon it as respecting your space. I think what's worse is that your mind fills in the blanks about what he's thinking and going, my minds making him out to be really horrible and therefore making me think bad about him, whereas he might be sad about it all himself, it's **** not knowing. Exactly: damned if he did, damned if he didn't. Lose/lose. The poor guy did what he thought was best, but either way, it would have phukked things up.....
Recommended Posts