Cryptic mail from ex. What does it mean? How to respond? All ideas appreciated!

[Jake123456]

My ex gf sent me a cryptic mail. I'd love help to understand what it means and what to do.

 

 

 

She broke up 4 months ago for jealousy issues. Thinks I slept with other girls. I didn’t, she has no proof because there’s no proof to be had, but nothing I can do can convince her. She lacks self-confidence, and seeing different girls say hi to me at parties destroyed her over time.

 

 

The very sad part is that we love each other so much. When she broke up, we were planning our future, kids, etc. She’s 30, I’m 35.

 

 

 

She’s the best girl I’ve ever known for me in my life. I want her back so much.

 

 

We spent a few months in back and forth. She told me she loves me so much, thinks I’m so great, the best guy she’s ever known, the greatest happiness… but that she can never be with me in a relationship again. She wanted to be best friends, but I wanted so much to be back together that it caused so much stress for her and she finally decided to stop contact. She wished me well, hoped I find a great girl, and told me to move forward in life.

 

 

We had no contact for 6 weeks. I haven’t healed. I think about her every minute.

 

 

 

Then she sent me a cryptic mail.

 

 

The title is a quote that we only understand the past by looking back and only live by looking forward. The body of the mail is a quote from a movie that if I die, her whole world will stop, that she loves the world so much because I’m in it.

 

 

I don’t know what to think.

 

 

She knows I was very, very upset by the break-up, she knows I lost meaning in life. So is this her way just to tell me to keep moving forward, not to kill myself, and she’d be sad if I were dead?

 

 

Or is this her way to say that we can never understand the past, she misses me and her world is empty without me, and she’s very shyly asking if I will forgive her and get back together?

 

 

What do you think?

 

 

And how should I respond?

 

 

I’d really appreciate any ideas. Thanks!

[TaraMaiden]

I hate to break this to you, but she has issues she needs to deal with - and she's basically throwing a 'pity party' and wants you to be the only guest.

She's angling for a response - any response - which might validate her and not make her feels so bad about having broken up with you.

If she was really looking for a way back in - she would say so.

But she's not, she's just in "woe is me" mode....

 

I really, honestly, sincerely advise you to not reply, not respond, not react and certainly do not even acknowledge you've even heard from her.

 

Please - PLEASE! - read the All-New Caliguy No Contact Guide in my signature/link.

Why they contact you, and what to do about it - is all in there....

[heartbrokeninharrow]

Send her an email. Simply saying "we need to talk" or can i meet you for coffee. Dont say anymore than that and see what she says.

[Hornachero]

I concur with the previous message. Just send her a short email asking her out for a coffee. If she declines the invitation, you'll have your answer and if she doesn't, you will have the opportunity to clarify things in person.

 

Good luck!

[Crila16]

Wow...she's a bit of a drama queen. I just don't understand why people don't say what they mean, mean what they say. This is too much of a headache.

 

Why don't you just email her and say "Please translate, because I haven't a clue what you're trying to say." This way, you'll stop feeding into the BS and games.

[TaraMaiden]

I personally feel in this case that responding just feeds the drama and keeps her corresponding... it's not healthy.

I'm of the opinion you should just blank it off and not fan the flames and feed her drama....

[Jake123456]

Thanks for the ideas.

 

I agree that to say what you mean and mean what you say definitely is better.

 

To ignore it is easier, but I worry so much that I'm missing her (cryptic) first move to get back together.

 

It's so hard. I'm so incredibly sad about her, spend all my time wondering why to continue living if my life will never be as good.

 

 

Thanks again to all.