3 months later

[Hindsight_is_20_20]

So, I dunno. It's been three months since we last spoke (or yelled, or I mean him yelling and telling me never to contact him again). I'm seeing some of the posters that were originally here die down with their posting. I hope that means you're all getting better, moving on.

 

The pain has definitely dulled. I am angry when I think about him and when my mind goes to the "good times", I quickly dismiss it with thoughts of who he really is. I don't want to see him anymore. On my way to work, when I pass the street I would have normally take to his house, I don't always look for his car to maybe be there on the road anymore.

 

I don't have an urge to contact him. I do have sudden urges to look him up on Instagram or whatever but I've managed to not do that. It would do me NO good and probably set me back. No, it most definitely would.

 

The more time that goes by, the better I am. It still sucks. A lot. But the anxiety I felt at the very beginning is very much less than it originally was.

 

I've been trying to get out as much as I can, I have two kids 80% of the time. I've met a few people, one I was sort of attracted to, which is a good sign I suppose. At first, I couldn't imagine being attracted to anyone. I'm not ready to date yet. I won't pursue this guy, but it's nice to know I'm not completely dead inside. I still feel like I don't know who I am or what I want in life right now, but I have hope that in time I will.

 

Right now, at this moment, I just miss being loved by somebody. I've realized that it's not just being loved by my ex, because honestly he was a piece of s***. I wish I had the balls to have gotten out earlier, and with my dignity. I did the whole begging, pleading to get back together thing while he was a stone cold a**hole straight to my face. Nice last memory, eh?

 

3 months gone by. Wow, three months. You don't think you're going to make it this far but you do. One day at a time.

[not-a-drive-by]

Two more weeks, and it'll be 3 months since BU for me. 14 days of NC as of today. I can agree with you. I never thought I would survive this far without him in my life. Although the pain has subsided by a large amount, he is still constantly on my mind. Hope of reconciliation is fading day by day (especially those who do reconcile seems to happen within the first 2 months of the BU), perhaps I am finally accepting that it is broken. However, some stupid reason, I still have this small sliver of hope lingering at the back of my mind.

 

You are doing much better than me though. I find it very difficult to be happy still. I don't think I have actually had a good laugh in these 3 months. I can feel a frown etched on my face. I still can't bear seeing couples or even watch TV seeing relationships develop. I just can't stand the lovey dovey stuff, it almost makes me sick . Maybe in another month or two, I'll be alright. But who knows how long it will take me to forget him.

 

Still counting the days that go by without him...

[Mint Sauce]

2 months since BU here, nicely marked by my ex and my friend celebrating their 2 months together (ffs you're 30, stop playing the teenage couple)

 

so recognize the pain/nausea caused by seeing lovey dovey stuff.

 

My therapist asked how I'd feel about starting to date again. My feelings were very clear: flirting and "being in love" are the ugliest actions/sentiments on earth. They are the opposite of love, they destroyed the love my ex and I shared. I don't want that in my life right now.

 

I guess I'm not there yet

 

But it's true that the pain dulls, and the obsessive behaviour subdues (a bit).

 

On the other hand, I managed to fill the past 2 months with lots of activities, and I took good care of myself. Only now the void is opening up and sucking me in...

[Regrets58]

I cried over her last night,can't believe it!

She ended it in January but due to friendly contact/false hope,

never accepted finality of things until late May.

Have been mostly NC since then,with some ill advised LC.

Still on my mind too much,but ever so slowly fading.

Have good days and can laugh and enjoy myself.

Hopefully before year ends I will be through this and whole again.

[TaraMaiden]

Regrets58, when was the last time you had contact with her?

Because to all intents and purposes, as far as your broken heart is concerned - THAT'S when you broke up.

so it's still fresh, still painful, still deep and wounding.

Take that as your break-up day... and start walking....

[Regrets58]

Hi TaraMaiden,last contact 05/08.Sent me a chatty,friendly email,with kisses ffs!

Didn't reply and there has been no contact whatsoever since.

Have been through 5 months of what I now know were breadcrumbs.

Know she wasn't right for me,nor I for her.

Still loved her though and there is no logic to love.

I will get there though and for me the only way to go is strict NC.

Thanks for the encouragement TaraMaiden.

[TaraMaiden]

Yeah, so you see, it's only been 20 days....

no wonder you're still in pain....

Have you actually told her you don't want any more contact...?

[kindest]

Reading tara maiden's post, we've been broken up for 6 months... But only 14 days NC. So we've actually been broken up Just for 14 days? Damn no wonder it still hurts.

 

I had a bad day... and bad days make me miss him. Maybe because I am needing support from someone close to me.

 

Sometimes I can't believe he's gone. When we first met it was like I've known him for years. I don't have that with just anybody. Doesn't happen too often.

 

Damn I really miss him.

[Regrets58]

Hi TaraMaiden,not told her directly this time other than not replying.

She is with someone else now and believe she will soon lose interest.

If she does contact me,I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

Have no intention of contacting her.

Suppose how to deal with her contacting me,is more of a worry

than me breaking NC!

However I suspect I will be forgotten about and that won't be a problem.