verhrzn Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 If confidence isn't a factor for women, how do you explain why I was unsuccessful for so long? (Considering I supposedly have a good check list otherwise... financially successful, live on my own, college-educated, lots of good hobbies and a decent social life, etc.)
StillReigning Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 If confidence isn't a factor for women, how do you explain why I was unsuccessful for so long? (Considering I supposedly have a good check list otherwise... financially successful, live on my own, college-educated, lots of good hobbies and a decent social life, etc.) The only women for whom confidence is not importance is the top maybe 5% who can just skate by in life with looks alone Everybody else is fighting the same fight. OP has no clue what he's talking about 1
8mia8 Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 Hm, I've been told that my confidence and strong personality is a turn off.
somedude81 Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 The only women for whom confidence is not importance is the top maybe 5% who can just skate by in life with looks alone Everybody else is fighting the same fight. OP has no clue what he's talking about No way that's true. Do you have anything to back up that confidence is important for women?
somedude81 Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 Hm, I've been told that my confidence and strong personality is a turn off. I can easily see that happening. Men want to lead the relationship. A woman who has a lot of confidence and a strong personality sounds like she'd also want to take charge. I don't think a lot of guys will be interested in a girl who is argumentative.
StillReigning Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 (edited) No way that's true. Do you have anything to back up that confidence is important for women? You just haven't met guys with options. Attractive/confident men are extremely selective when it comes to dating and they won't date a pretty girl with an awful personality because they don't have to. Maybe the top 5% of women who are ridiculously gorgeous can get away with it but that's not a general rule Confidence to me is just another word for pleasant personality because that's the biggest aspect of having a good personality Edited August 24, 2012 by StillReigning
jcrew11 Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 Why do men need to be some confident alpha robot personality to be worth to date, while women on the other hand who are not socially retarded are good to go for most men. If you want a confident guy be confident yourself..... Which MOST women are not. Women probably expect a guy to be ambitious and able to make money. Women have a fairytale hollywood dream of meeting george clooney charismatic types. Its just easier to have a charismatic personality to attract women. You have to sell yourself to them. If you have good looks, some women go for the silent type. Women are expected to be (1) pretty and (2) nice and caring. Men want to date attractive women who are easygoing. Women are "nice" and unconfident because they fear rejection. 1
Badsingularity Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 For a long time women looked to men to protect them due to the physical differences between men and women. A man who was not confident and could not stand up for himself would not be able to protect a woman as well as a man who was confident and who could stand up for himself. A man who is confident sends out subconcious signals to a womans brain that tells her that he is in control of his life and he can protect her. Men were more capable of defending and protecting themselves due to the fact that they on average they were stronger, faster, and better equipped to fight. They did not need to look to women to do this for them, so there is no subconcious confidence attraction trigger in most men like there is in most women.
kaylan Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 Ladies pay attention to this. Lots of men think just like this and say so when they are in the company of men. I would guess 1/5 to 3/4's of all heterosexual men would gladly support a woman who had no personality, or life, if they looked good enough and gave them good sex. (See the definition of trophy wife). And this is the problem. To many men put women on a pedestal and dont see them as equal human beings. As long as some guys keep doing that, you will have some other dudes bitxhing about how easy women have it. But its not like most women are able to live the trophy life or even want to live that kind of life.
somedude81 Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 Confidence to me is just another word for pleasant personality because that's the biggest aspect of having a good personality Uh, confidence has no connection to a pleasant personality. A girl can be shy and insecure and have a very sweet personality.
StillReigning Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 Uh, confidence has no connection to a pleasant personality. A girl can be shy and insecure and have a very sweet personality. Shy? Possible. Insecure? Huge turn off There's a little bit of a difference in feminine and masculine confidence. Masculine confidence is more primarily dominant while female confidence is more primarily submissive and sweet
somedude81 Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 Shy? Possible. Insecure? Huge turn off There's a little bit of a difference in feminine and masculine confidence. Masculine confidence is more primarily dominant while female confidence is more primarily submissive and sweet Sorry, I don't agree with you. Confidence by nature is not submissive. I don't believe in there being masculine and feminine confidence and have each one meaning different things. 1
kaylan Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 Can you stop talking as if 49k and I were one person. I'm talking about actions, not behaviors. Ive just noticed similarities in both of your viewpoints during my time on this forum. Eh. How is me having trouble with women, at all related to women working hard or not to get good men in general? You're really stretching there kaylan.? My point is that if you had more experience being close friends with women, dating women, and making love to women...youd know they dont have it easy getting a good man. From being truly close friends with women, you find out just how hard it is for many of them to find a good dude. From dating them you learn how to value yourself highly and actually make a woman prove herself to you, and knowing if shes right for you. In other words you wont settle for "good enough" most of the time. And by making love to women, you see how a lot of them are very cautious about who they sleep with because they hope what they found was a good man, and not some guy who put on a facade. Im saying experience changes your perspective of all this. A lack of confidence does not equal clingy.I didnt say that. My point was that being clingly shows insecurity which is a lack of confidence. Confidence basically is, a belief in one's ability to succeed. Somebody who lacks confidence will need reassurance or encouragement. I'm not seeing how that's a dealbreaker for women. I don't see how a girl being insecure is a bad thing. If it is, why are there hundreds of songs out there song by men, telling women that they're beautiful and that they are amazing just the way they are? Edit: I just saw a thread about insecurity in women. Well that's the word the guy used, but it seems like she had a lack of trust.Confidence is not just about "success". Though plenty of women lack a belief in their own success. Confidence is also how a woman carries herself in day to day life and her relationship. A woman who lacks confidence will generally be insecure about many things, unable to move forward in certain aspects of her life, or unable to try new thing, and I find that a turn off. And lol...lets not bring pop culture songs into this...because generally those songs are about "getting" the girl. And I dont they mean get her for a relationship. Insecurity in a relationship isnt fun. And its not like women dont write similar tunes...its just the fact that most musicians are men.
StillReigning Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 (edited) Confidence by nature is not submissive. Confidence just means that you're sure in yourself You can be very feminine and be very confident - this is a huge turn on to men Edited August 24, 2012 by StillReigning
8mia8 Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 Confidence and strong personality does not necessary mean argumentative nor does shyness necessary have anything to do with confidence or submissiveness. Confidence means you know who you are and trust yourself while being shy can be about the other person. One can know oneself well but distrust or be uncomfortable with strangers. I'm fairly shy and unfortunately many people think this means being submissive especially since I look "adorable" and much younger. They then get shocked and run when they know me a bit better due to my confidence and personality. Not that I'm complaining, I'm not interested in a man who can't hold their own.
StillReigning Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 Confidence and strong personality does not necessary mean argumentative nor does shyness necessary have anything to do with confidence or submissiveness. Confidence means you know who you are and trust yourself while being shy can be about the other person. One can know oneself well but distrust or be uncomfortable with strangers. I'm fairly shy and unfortunately many people think this means being submissive especially since I look "adorable" and much younger. They then get shocked and run when they know me a bit better due to my confidence and personality. Not that I'm complaining, I'm not interested in a man who can't hold their own. Interesting. I love women who are a little feisty What are you doing to turn these guys off?
Pyro Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 Some guys like confidence in a woman, but I think most of us don't really value that much as a trait. I value loyalty and I believe most guys would agree with me on that... it's just impossible to test for that up front. How do you describe a woman who lacks confidence or has none at all? I think of a woman who will always agree with me and/or do everything that I say. That is BORING and will turn me off. I value loyalty just as much as the next guy but I don't believe it for one second that most guys do not value confidence as a trait in a woman.
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