golk Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 I'm new to the forum and really need outside (not friends or family) advice on the subject. I dated this amazing girl for a little over 4 years. I'm about to be 21 in a few days, she's 22. We started dating in high school and I was her first love, REAL boyfriend, first sexual experience, etc. She is my third serious relationship. She is the exact type of girl that I could ever want, my previous flings or relationships were nothing compared to ours. She has morals, an amazing personality, great family life, literally the nicest person I've ever met and I honestly can't think of a bad personality trait of hers. We seemed to have the perfect relationship in every way. The fights we had were never about anything important and never were serious or lasting, mainly about me being insecure. I know didn't always treat her or show her the love and affection she showed me because I'm not that emotional of a guy and not touchy really at all and I'm wondering if that maybe drove her away? We were always doing things together (just went on vacation a month ago and had a mutually amazing time) and share many of the same friends. Everything seemed fine and perfect even when she started her football program 4 weeks ago which requires her to be at practice literally all day, every single day. I found out (2 weeks ago) that she was talking about how physically attractive all the football players she works with are (athletic training student in football program). That freaked me out and I made a big deal out of it. We had a huge fight and I kept saying how she needed to find what she wants, be single if she needs, etc. Well she accepted that offer after me repeating to her over and over and wanted NC with me for a few days. I couldn't take it and saw her after about 3 days and she said she wanted to be with me. We stayed a couple for a week and a half but I could tell that she was different. Never initiating contact or getting annoyed with me wanting her touch. She told me she still cares and loves me and still is attracted to me emotionally but she's not IN love with me as she used to be. She said she needed more time so I haven't been contacting her first at all for the last 2 days. BUT she contacted me and even called me at night which she hadn't done in 2 weeks. She txted and wanted to hangout so we did. We didn't talk about us at all for the first two hours. I waited for her to make the first move and she did. She started cuddling, holding me, grabbing me , kissing my neck but wouldn't really kiss me b/c she has a cold/kanker sore (I did see it). We started talking about us and said she wants to be single now but doesn't want to lose me forever and that she's unsure if it's what she really wants or if it's just a phase because of her new life/business. So we decided to break up. She was crying her eyes out the whole time and I think what she said was genuine. I have her a note that I wrote being heartfelt and left it at that and kissed her anyway. The confusion I have is we planned my bday weekend at a local party/island bar town and she said she still WANTED to come, not because she felt obligated but because she wants to still spend that time together. So what should I do? I feel like I shouldn't take her if it's over but if there's ever a chance for us, I should not skip this opportunity... I mean it only took one day of no contact for her to contact me so Idk what she really wants. Any advice?
crazyoflove Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 I was getting such mixed signals for a month. Eventually I had enough and backed off. Its been almost two weeks of no contact. In my opinion, she will continue to be single as long as she knows that you're around. The best thing for you would be to dissappear and minimise (or cut) contact with her.
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