jayy23 Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 So I'm on day 47 of NC and she STILL hasen't tried to contact me so my question is what are the chances of her contacting me keeping in mind that it was her that finished with me 4months ago and she is a really strong minded girl.
weallfalldown Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 how long's a piece of string?.... if it was 4 months ago, and nothing for a while, i'd stop hoping she will.... It's called self torture......
Author jayy23 Posted August 23, 2012 Author Posted August 23, 2012 I would like to find out a few things from her so I'm goina end up contacting her if she doesn't contact me some time soon.
geegirl Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 I would like to find out a few things from her so I'm goina end up contacting her if she doesn't contact me some time soon. That's your junkie mind in denial. Your need to ask her a few things is your way of testing the waters. Trying to gauge where she is. In other words, masking your hope under the pretense of asking questions. Finding excuses. She's not contacting you for a reason. Accept it. It's a break-up. Treat it as such. And the fact that she hasn't contacted you, should make you want to hold on to your dignity and self-respect. Keep moving on. Answers to questions will not change the situation because once you've gotten what you needed, you go back to where you came from. She broke up with you. If there was any chance of reconciliation, let her be the one to contact you. If you've read much on this site, NC is not about investing just enough time in hopes for a second chance. It's about accepting that it is a break-up, healing and moving on. In any case, some people will have to learn the hard way. I hope your questions are worthy enough of falling in the hole again.
SoConfusedAndInShock Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 So I'm on day 47 of NC and she STILL hasen't tried to contact me so my question is what are the chances of her contacting me keeping in mind that it was her that finished with me 4months ago and she is a really strong minded girl. around 49-50 days of NC here and i ask myself the same thing EVERYDAY. that 1% hope is still there with me. so you are not alone. im not saying clinging to hope but i know ppl who've made contact after 3,4, or even 6 months later. NO ONE KNOWS for sure when our exs will contact us, but let things just happen. i've leaned the had way that i cant pin point when my ex will open his eyes and be civil with me... and to the people saying "NEVER" you're not God. No one knows for sure what might happen down the road. OP, just take it a day at a time. its not easy i know cuz im living through it but we both dont have options i guess.
blotter Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 Man, I hope no one here told you that NC was a way to get your ex back! That's not what NC is for at all. Needlessly pineing and hoping is wasting your NC, where if you had just accepted the break up you would be so much further in your healing and probably meeting other girls by now. What a waste. 1
Frank13 Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 Been 8 months NC for me and I haven't heard a word from her and don't want to. 1
Author jayy23 Posted August 23, 2012 Author Posted August 23, 2012 around 49-50 days of NC here and i ask myself the same thing EVERYDAY. that 1% hope is still there with me. so you are not alone. im not saying clinging to hope but i know ppl who've made contact after 3,4, or even 6 months later. NO ONE KNOWS for sure when our exs will contact us, but let things just happen. i've leaned the had way that i cant pin point when my ex will open his eyes and be civil with me... and to the people saying "NEVER" you're not God. No one knows for sure what might happen down the road. OP, just take it a day at a time. its not easy i know cuz im living through it but we both dont have options i guess. It does my head in everyday I'm just getting more and more frustrated about it. Last time we spoke she said that she was goina come and see me but that's not happend I can't understand why she's being like this we never had a bad brake up and both got on really well so why would she just cast me aside.
Reegs Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 Please dont reach out to her. Your doing soooo good! The only thing you want her to say to you...is "I miss you...and I made a mistake...and I was going to contact you...but I was afriad." The chances of her saying it is slim my friend. Continue to move forward...and as much as it hurts...admit to yourself its over and you need to move on. Will she come back in a few weeks or months? I have no idea...but the only way you will be prepared for her....is if you are free of the emotions. Keep on keeping on my friend. Good Luck
Author jayy23 Posted August 23, 2012 Author Posted August 23, 2012 Please dont reach out to her. Your doing soooo good! The only thing you want her to say to you...is "I miss you...and I made a mistake...and I was going to contact you...but I was afriad." The chances of her saying it is slim my friend. Continue to move forward...and as much as it hurts...admit to yourself its over and you need to move on. Will she come back in a few weeks or months? I have no idea...but the only way you will be prepared for her....is if you are free of the emotions. Keep on keeping on my friend. Good Luck Thanks. I'm trying my best just can't seem to let the hope go. She was my best friend 5years together and now she won't even talk to me and I never done anything wrong I feel like really don't deserve to be just thrown aside and forgotten.
aanderson088 Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 Dude, I'm on like hour 52 of NC and I'm going nuckin' futs. She told me I need to show her that I've changed and that I mean the words I say. How can someone SHOW that without any contact? I have drafted emails that I am just itching to send to her but I am feeling pretty confident that I won't. My ex and I have gotten together and broken up again a bunch of times (every time my fault btw) and I had to approach her every time. She isn't coming back this time. I know it. But we all hope. It's the human condition. I'm with everyone else though. If you're going almost 50 days without contact, keep it up. I would start seeing a counselor. If only just to get these things out in the air. I was seeing a counselor before my ex and I broke up because I was trying to fix the things I felt were wrong with me. I am still going and dying to go again. It's been like 14 days since my last appointment and I'm going crazy. Just stay strong. Being tossed aside is painful and does immense damage to your sense of self-worth. Don't let this get you down. Try to stay strong and not contact her. Good luck.
Author jayy23 Posted August 24, 2012 Author Posted August 24, 2012 Dude, I'm on like hour 52 of NC and I'm going nuckin' futs. She told me I need to show her that I've changed and that I mean the words I say. How can someone SHOW that without any contact? I have drafted emails that I am just itching to send to her but I am feeling pretty confident that I won't. My ex and I have gotten together and broken up again a bunch of times (every time my fault btw) and I had to approach her every time. She isn't coming back this time. I know it. But we all hope. It's the human condition. I'm with everyone else though. If you're going almost 50 days without contact, keep it up. I would start seeing a counselor. If only just to get these things out in the air. I was seeing a counselor before my ex and I broke up because I was trying to fix the things I felt were wrong with me. I am still going and dying to go again. It's been like 14 days since my last appointment and I'm going crazy. Just stay strong. Being tossed aside is painful and does immense damage to your sense of self-worth. Don't let this get you down. Try to stay strong and not contact her. Good luck. I never even got a chance to talk to her face to face for longer than 15min last time I seen her we spoke she got really upset and left when she was leaving she tried to kiss me on the lips I was like wtf and just kissd her on the cheek then watched her drive outa my life and havent seen her since. The worst part is not knowing what she is doing. I'm trying my best not to contact her but I really need to see her I think I deserve that.
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