youngnlove89 Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 First of all, I'm in the process of letting go of my ex, mr. unavailable. We met on a dating site 1 1/2 ago. He told me he would never be caught dead on one of those again. After him telling me, "he will never love me that way" (I forced him to say it so I could get my closure) I told him to never contact me again. But he did. He texted me last night and I didn't respond. I go on the dating site today and see he is on there and the picture of him is the one I TOOK OF HIM. AND get this!! this is the best part... it says he is looking for a relationship. Now this is coming from a guy who said he has commitment issues and isn't looking for a relationship. even when I met him the first time on a dating site, it said "not seeking a relationship or commitment of any kind" Is he trying to get me all bothered by this? Is this his plan of action?
weallfalldown Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 to be honest, i'm waiting for the day when i see my ex on match,com...i've already been viewed by her best mate on there.... just ignore it, i know it prob hurts, but just confirms it's well over>>>>>?
Drseussgrrl Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 Ok stop it. Stop looking for him online anywhere. What he's doing has NOTHING to do with you - got it? And of COURSE he says looking for a relationship. What woman is going to want to date a man who says "I'm looking for my next fallback girl" or "I hope you like casual sex as much as I do!" And, from my experiences with online dating, he's going to go out on a few bad dates (because let's be honest, it takes a LOT of first dates to even meet someone you might REMOTELY feel a connection with) and he'll be right back to calling you. MARK MY WORDS. Because, you are the fallback girl and a safe place for him to get his rocks off when his luck runs out with other women. This is an ego stroke for him, nothing more, nothing less. This guy is so transparent it's not even funny. Just like his meaningless text to you last night - EGO STROKE. He just wanted to see if he's still got you on the hook. Honestly, he sounds like a loser. Stop focusing on what he is doing and put it back on YOU!! 3
carhill Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 It's called sales and marketing. People do what they do to benefit themselves. It appears you are both on a dating site (unclear if you are published or looking) so life goes on. Once the R/M is over, it's like you're each one of billions again so should be similarly insignificant to each other. Perhaps that's hard to process emotionally, but it can be freeing. Men say they're looking for a relationship generally because they have learned that is what women who have the potential of being loyal to them want to hear. Pure pragmatism. I don't mention such issues when advertising, though I have answered women's direct questions with 'I enjoyed being married and would like to be married again someday'. That's honest. They can assign whatever meaning to it they choose.
Author youngnlove89 Posted August 23, 2012 Author Posted August 23, 2012 Ok stop it. Stop looking for him online anywhere. What he's doing has NOTHING to do with you - got it? And of COURSE he says looking for a relationship. What woman is going to want to date a man who says "I'm looking for my next fallback girl" or "I hope you like casual sex as much as I do!" And, from my experiences with online dating, he's going to go out on a few bad dates (because let's be honest, it takes a LOT of first dates to even meet someone you might REMOTELY feel a connection with) and he'll be right back to calling you. MARK MY WORDS. Because, you are the fallback girl and a safe place for him to get his rocks off when his luck runs out with other women. This is an ego stroke for him, nothing more, nothing less. This guy is so transparent it's not even funny. Just like his meaningless text to you last night - EGO STROKE. He just wanted to see if he's still got you on the hook. Honestly, he sounds like a loser. Stop focusing on what he is doing and put it back on YOU!! He never had that on his profile before, it was always just looking for friends/casual relationship. It's like he is saying he is actively looking for a relationship to get under my skin. and he did. I really didn't mean to look for him online. I was on my dating profile and he was a New User and his picture popped up on the top. I was shocked and hurt. He did this last time we broke up, got on a dating site and then starting missing me. and I took him back because I was weak. I don't want that to happen again. As much as I think I love him, I know I need to move on. I'm just trying to figure out how to avoid all these bumps in the road that he is planting there!
Lisa_Lisa Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 About a month before my ex broke up with me, I found him on a dating website. He put up a recent picture, too, so I know it wasn't an old account. I was hurt, but because we were long distance, I pretended it was nothing, but of course, he probably already knew we were over before he made it official. Listen, I completely understand why you're searching for him and all that jazz. Believe me, I've been there. These are just phases you're going through till you're completely 100% over him. It's only natural you're curious to know what he's up to. But I am glad you saw this because now you know you he's not pining away wondering how to get you back. I also believe once things fizzle out with a couple of girls, he'll call or text or whatever. Hopefully, by that time, you'll be over him and laugh and say, "sorry, you had your chance and you blew it." 3
weallfalldown Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 He never had that on his profile before, it was always just looking for friends/casual relationship. It's like he is saying he is actively looking for a relationship to get under my skin. and he did. I really didn't mean to look for him online. I was on my dating profile and he was a New User and his picture popped up on the top. I was shocked and hurt. He did this last time we broke up, got on a dating site and then starting missing me. and I took him back because I was weak. I don't want that to happen again. As much as I think I love him, I know I need to move on. I'm just trying to figure out how to avoid all these bumps in the road that he is planting there! Hold on.....your on there also.....doesn't that make it....Pot calling the kettle black???? 1
Lisa_Lisa Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 I take back my comment about you searching for him since you wrote you weren't, his picture just popped up. Things like this are going to happen. Be strong.
KatZee Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 He never had that on his profile before, it was always just looking for friends/casual relationship. It's like he is saying he is actively looking for a relationship to get under my skin. and he did. I really didn't mean to look for him online. I was on my dating profile and he was a New User and his picture popped up on the top. I was shocked and hurt. He did this last time we broke up, got on a dating site and then starting missing me. and I took him back because I was weak. I don't want that to happen again. As much as I think I love him, I know I need to move on. I'm just trying to figure out how to avoid all these bumps in the road that he is planting there! Get on a new dating site. OR meet people the old fashioned way.
Author youngnlove89 Posted August 23, 2012 Author Posted August 23, 2012 Hold on.....your on there also.....doesn't that make it....Pot calling the kettle black???? Yea, but I had nothin on my profile, not even pictures. I just happened to go on there today for some reason and BAM there he is. But now I am back on there. I want an ego boost too! Anyways, I'm just mad he put a picutre of himself that I took of him.
KatZee Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 And he wears American Eagle as if he's still in high school.... blahhhhhhh!!!! lmfao. 1
Author youngnlove89 Posted August 23, 2012 Author Posted August 23, 2012 Oh come on. He's ugly. And bald. Call me superficial but you can do so much better than this. I could see if he was some amazing guy, had a great personality, and the personality trumped the looks... but he's a dickhole, AND he doesn't have the looks. NEXT! haha! thank you this is what I need to hear! I need to hear that I can do better. He is bald and the more I look at him the more I see how unattractive he was. His teeth were crooked and a little yellow. Want to see my profile? andagain08 Phoenix Arizona singles, Phoenix Arizona women hehe 2
weallfalldown Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 And he wears American Eagle as if he's still in high school.... blahhhhhhh!!!! lmfao. being british, that is rather sad....haha redneck mother ****er
Drseussgrrl Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 OMG EW! And he did the whole douchebag shirtless self portrait. DEALBREAKER!!! P.s. find someone educated.
Author youngnlove89 Posted August 23, 2012 Author Posted August 23, 2012 OMG EW! And he did the whole douchebag shirtless self portrait. DEALBREAKER!!! P.s. find someone educated. are you guys being serious or are you trying to help me feel better? ;P I know I hate when guys do the shirtless picture, so gay.
Drseussgrrl Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 I'm being honest here. He is NOT CUTE. And I'm going to be a little bit even more honest. ok? This might be unsolicited advice but here goes: Your profile kind of screams "good time girl" to me. The references to birth control pills, victoria's secret lingerie, the "no more mr this or that", proclaiming you have a dirty mind. I dunno, I read it and it just seems like it would be hard to take you seriously. I know you are joking but that's the perception. Personally, I find that when women start off by saying "I'm not looking for a player, etc" makes it seem like they've been through the wringer with more than one of them, and that just sort of paints you in a bad light. I would just keep it positive. Honesty, I'm not really surprised that your profile attracted a guy like your ex. Ok there I said it. 1
weallfalldown Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 You could be really vindictive.....i shouldn't say this, but get some of the ladies on here to email him on pof, telling him he's a ****in minger.....give his confidence a good kicking haha....... 2
Author youngnlove89 Posted August 23, 2012 Author Posted August 23, 2012 I'm being honest here. He is NOT CUTE. And I'm going to be a little bit even more honest. ok? This might be unsolicited advice but here goes: Your profile kind of screams "good time girl" to me. The references to birth control pills, victoria's secret lingerie, the "no more mr this or that", proclaiming you have a dirty mind. I dunno, I read it and it just seems like it would be hard to take you seriously. I know you are joking but that's the perception. Personally, I find that when women start off by saying "I'm not looking for a player, etc" makes it seem like they've been through the wringer with more than one of them, and that just sort of paints you in a bad light. I would just keep it positive. Honesty, I'm not really surprised that your profile attracted a guy like your ex. Ok there I said it. I take criticism well. I fixed it. I don't want to relay that kind of message! thank you for the advice
Author youngnlove89 Posted August 23, 2012 Author Posted August 23, 2012 You could be really vindictive.....i shouldn't say this, but get some of the ladies on here to email him on pof, telling him he's a ****in minger.....give his confidence a good kicking haha....... haha love it
Author youngnlove89 Posted August 23, 2012 Author Posted August 23, 2012 You're so pretty! wow! thank you
Floored Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 Any man worth his salt will have taken a low-light, shirtless cowboy hat picture of himself at some point in their life.
Author youngnlove89 Posted August 23, 2012 Author Posted August 23, 2012 If anything, this whole him getting back on a dating site, has helped me. I realized I don't need his drama or stress. Good for him, I hope he finds someone. But I'm sure she will realize what I did too eventually. People don't change.
Tree_Salmon Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 First of all, I'm in the process of letting go of my ex, mr. unavailable. We met on a dating site 1 1/2 ago. He told me he would never be caught dead on one of those again. After him telling me, "he will never love me that way" (I forced him to say it so I could get my closure) I told him to never contact me again. But he did. He texted me last night and I didn't respond. I go on the dating site today and see he is on there and the picture of him is the one I TOOK OF HIM. AND get this!! this is the best part... it says he is looking for a relationship. Now this is coming from a guy who said he has commitment issues and isn't looking for a relationship. even when I met him the first time on a dating site, it said "not seeking a relationship or commitment of any kind" Is he trying to get me all bothered by this? Is this his plan of action? Didn't I tell you that when a guy says he doesn't want a relationship he means 'with YOU"?
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