Should I give my ex "closure" ?

[eterlim]

Hi, i'm confused about this issue, of whether I should give my ex this "closure".

 

It has been around 2 months since I broke it off, and I have been very clear that the relationship is OVER, and that I do not wish to communicate.

I was fairly clear on quite a few of the breakup issues, although I know that I could have been clearer, because I feared for both of our safety. The break up was messy to say the least.

I have a feeling most of what I said has been blocked out anyway. Selective memory as they might say.

 

I have gotten a few emails and texts asking for "closure". I do not want to deal with any of what happened again, I think I have PTSD, and as I have mentioned, my words always fell on dead ears. Nonetheless, perhaps one last email explaining things properly and thoroughly is what is needed. My ex seems to think so, in order to move on. To be honest I don't know...

 

I was hoping some who are more experienced than I could give me some advice on this. Thanks for any help

[weallfalldown]

yea go for it...nobody else seems to wanna do it...so that'll be a first..

[Crila16]

Yes. This has happened to me on more than one occasion. The funny thing, you can give them the closure they're asking for, but it won't work. If you tell this guy straight out "I'm just not in love with you anymore." He's going to overanalyze you and say "Ah..ha...I've been reading about it, and I think you're a committment phobic and scared to love and be loved." You just want to scream....NO...I JUST DON'T LOVE YOU. This is still, the only real way to handle it. You need to be clear. I completely understand that you just don't want to deal with it anymore. It's exhausting. You just want him to be ok so he'll go away.

 

Tell him. Look. I thought at one time I loved you, but I realized I'm not in love with you anymore. I want to date other people and find someone I feel more compatible with. I hope you can grow to accept this. I won't be coming back to you. It's over. I'm sorry I hurt you, but I wish the best for you and hope you will find someone to make you very happy. Also, let him know if he txts and calls you, you will most likely not respond. You need to be cruel to be kind.

 

Really what it is, is your ex is in pain and he doesn't know how to deal with it. (If you scroll down the posts, you'll probably find a post from him...just kidding,). God forbid it's just because you don't like him. That would mean that he did something wrong and his ego would be bruised. If you tell him there's another man, he may go psycho on you. Just stick to the I'm not in love with you anymore.