Is this email to my cheating ex going to antagonise the situation?

[brighthotrain]

I need him to look after our flat for one more month and pay the bills (he cheated, i moved out but everything is in my name) he lied and said he didnt cheat, begged me to be friends and i agreed - then 5 days later he takes the girl out and all my friends see. I am about to send this but i dont want to make the situation worse, i just want him to realise hes a dick and messed up and hurt a little i suppose...

 

We are discussing him placing items that belong to me in the shared hallway of our building as i do not want to go into the flat for obvious reasons - feel sick as she has been there....

 

From: him

 

ok that sounds fine im just worried about leaving things down there in case somebody steals them thats all..i understand if you dont want to see me but im sure we could be civil were both grown ups and we have absolulty nothing to agrue or fight about after all we did plan to be freinds not enemys..you are welcome anytime into the flat and if you like i can not be there...just safer than leaving things down there any way i must go to work now so wont be able to reply until later x

 

My potential reply...

 

 

Im not being pulled into a discussion with you about us being friends, enemies or otherwise. That is not the reason we are currently in contact, I ignored your last email about that and I do not want to have any sort of personal discussion with you - I'm sorry if I've not made that clear but the days of us having any sort of friendship have long sailed. The only reason we are in contact is to try and sort out the dregs of this situation. You know exactly what the deal is, and although I have no clue who you are anymore, you know me inside out - so you must be more than aware of what I think of you and what you have done. We are soon to be total strangers, which lets be honest is little more than what we have been for the last 6 months. You know there will be no friendship, you decided that with your actions, you had the chance to stop being a coward and save a friendship but you didn't take it. You made that decision and unfortunately this is the way it now has to be. And there will be no enemies, Im not fighting you or arguing, upset, sad or even angry - it is nothing. We are nothing, and thats the best way for it to be. Lets just get through sorting all of this out as quickly and as amicably as possible - that way we may come out of this with some sort of dignity and respect and then we can just forget about each other and the whole thing yeah?

 

Have mega scumbags moved in to the building? I was thinking if I plan to have my delivery guy pick up my things at 9.45am, you could put them down at 9.30am. Then no-one would be able to take them? But then if you think that there is a chance they could be stolen maybe you could pack everything up and leave it right behind the door in the hallway? Its up to you, you live there so you know best if you say its not safe then its not safe - I just need to know as soon as possible to book my delivery guy so if you could fill me in when you get back from work I'd really appreciate it. Thanks

 

is this going to make him mad and perhaps make him not pay the bills etc? or will this make him hurt? or i dont know im totally heartbroken, this was a 3 year thing im gutted

[Leegh]

I think your email is well written, but perhaps a little long. Does he like the girl he cheated with? He may be taking her out now to make you jealous. Did he want to continue the relationship with you? Most guys will lie about cheating initially, then will eventaully come clean with the truth. I can understand why you are very hurt, but if you had an otherwise good relationship, and if this is the first time he cheated, and treated you well otherwise, you may want to consider forgiving him. Getting back to your email, I would condense it a little bit. Good Luck.

[brighthotrain]

there is one month left on the lease. He has a great job, he told me to quit my job so i could focus on work experience for my uni degree so I did - I financially supported him in the past so he said it was my turn. He has a terrible credit rating from before we met, hence why its all in my name. I couldnt afford to stay in the flat as I had no job so I had to leave, he agreed to look after it until the end of sept when the lease was up as we were going to be friends before I found out about her. So Im trying to keep him sweet so he doesnt run away and leave me with loads of bad credit, after all he has been living there for two months alone - they are his bills, i paid all of the bills before i left with borrowed cash so I was in no debt. Im just so hurt, i want to say it but it wont help ....

 

He was lovely to me but we're just not meant to be - he liked this girl for a while. I knew it, he knew it but he was a coward. He really is my best friend, and im gutted to lose that gutted but i see no other choice. He never cheated before, but he has no interest in taking me back - i however would work and work to fix it even though its prob not the right thing to do. I just want to talk to him, see him. not romantically, just see him :(

[TaraMaiden]

 

I'm not being pulled into a discussion with you about us being friends, enemies or otherwise. That is not the reason we are currently in contact, The days of us having any sort of friendship have long sailed.

Im not fighting you or arguing, upset, sad or even angry - We are nothing, and thats the best way for it to be. Lets just get through sorting all of this out as quickly and as amicably as possible.

 

I plan to have my delivery guy pick up my things at 9.45am, you could put them down at 9.30am. You live there so you know best if you say its not safe then its not safe - I just need to know as soon as possible to book my delivery guy so if you could fill me in I'd really appreciate it. Thanks

 

 

Is dignified, says all you need to say, and is perfectly sufficient.

[Crila16]

I agree. Email is well written, but very long. You need to cut it down. It was also mature...except for the mega scumbag move in part. Is the girl moving in? If so, I would change that line to "Has your whore moved in yet?"

 

Just kidding. I would walk away with dignity and not even make her significant. Nothing you said in that email will make him angry...except for the scumbag thing. There's plenty of time to call him that after he's finished paying all the bills.