Feelsgoodman Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 Men who are polite and respectful in the way they approach women are unlikely to get a bitch shield response. The bitch shield is an appropriate response towards an obvious "it's a numbers game" man who's hitting on all and sundry and generally has the aura of the snake oil seller about him. The bitch shield consists of a brief and insincere smile and a "sorry, I'm in a hurry" excuse. Swift, uncomplicated and best for all concerned. Same as you'd give the swift "thanks, not interested" brush off to street vendors. The problem is that most women have their bitch shields on by default. This, in turn, creates a "bitch aura" that makes these women less likely to be approached by normal men but no less likely to be approached by the "numbers game" men (who see it as a challenge and think that they just need to "plough through"). On a side note, I find it interesting that the bitch shield is primarily an Anglo-American phenomenon (okay, you can add Scandinavian and Germanic countries to the list). Elsewhere, women tend to be far more friendly...even in countries like Italy and Russia, where men are far more sexually aggressive than their American and North European counterparts. 2
udolipixie Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 So how is the whole bitch shield thing working out for you personally? And, out of sheer curiosity, why do you feel the need to keep the bitch shield up when posting on this board? With respect to your last paragraph, see post #14 above. My b*tch shield has been working out great. I'm never out of guys to use for my amusement and entertainment and they all fit my criteria such as 5'10''+, $200,000 minimum salary, 8/10 face and body, and above average d*ck. I didn't have b*tch shield up when posting so I'm a bit curious as to what you define as a b*tch shield. I'm aware of post #14 and it's amusing you see your own contradiction in saying womanizers will pursue regardless then later saying if a guy sees a b*tch shield there's a good chance he won't. I didn't feel the need to point it out but interesting that you did.
Shaun-Dro Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 Don't they know that it only hurts them? Yea, they know it does, but it's become an instinctual reaction now whenever they see a man coming their way. They just can't help it. Take yesterday for example. More than a dozen women threw up a bitch shield at me for simply watching them. But once I tuned them out, about 3 quarters of them clearly regretted it and tried to get my attention back. Boy, I can write a book about the never-ending games women play.
Feelsgoodman Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 I'm aware of post #14 and it's amusing you see your own contradiction in saying womanizers will pursue regardless then later saying if a guy sees a b*tch shield there's a good chance he won't. I didn't feel the need to point it out but interesting that you did. What's amusing is that you still don't get the point of post #14...
udolipixie Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 What's amusing is that you still don't get the point of post #14... I got the point as shown by my words "womanizers will pursue regardless". Seems you don't the point that it's quite contradictory to say womanizers will approach regardless then say' if a guy sees a b*tch shield there's a good chance he won't approach'.
todreaminblue Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 The problem is that most women have their bitch shields on by default. This, in turn, creates a "bitch aura" that makes these women less likely to be approached by normal men but no less likely to be approached by the "numbers game" men (who see it as a challenge and think that they just need to "plough through"). On a side note, I find it interesting that the bitch shield is primarily an Anglo-American phenomenon (okay, you can add Scandinavian and Germanic countries to the list). Elsewhere, women tend to be far more friendly...even in countries like Italy and Russia, where men are far more sexually aggressive than their American and North European counterparts. a true bitch doesnt need a shield at all she is happy to be a bitch dont you think?
irc333 Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 A shield is a shield used for protection against hurt call it bitch call it armor there are normally reasons to wear armor......i have never worn a bitch shield but i do have shields, as a woman, so its all about perception or how men perceive a woman who has been hurt before and maybe doesn't want to get hurt again...even then most women lower theirs at one point or another....deb Yeah, it's the shield when she gets one look at ya, thinks "ew", and she throws that shield up. lol
Taramere Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 A shield is a shield used for protection against hurt call it bitch call it armor there are normally reasons to wear armor......i have never worn a bitch shield but i do have shields, as a woman, so its all about perception or how men perceive a woman who has been hurt before and maybe doesn't want to get hurt again...even then most women lower theirs at one point or another....deb Yes. It seems to be a label that's intended to berate women for what is often a perfectly normal and reasonable degree of reserve around strangers...on the basis that the person doing the berating isn't getting what they want from a situation. The "bitch shield" of reserve that provokes those angry reactions then intensifies slightly into another "bitch shield" of ignoring and walking away from the kind of people who initiate interactions with a mindset that embraces "bitch shield" and other hostile terminology. From the other side of the fence, I've encountered other women's "bitch shields" at times. Most of us probably have. The backpacking duos who want to travel the world while shutting it out, the sourpuss in the workplace who makes your job that bit less pleasant, people who just generally have a hostile vibe about them or somebody you just happened to catch at a bad moment. Everybody's day has felt momentarily spoiled by people like that at some point....but I think that on the whole, the rules of behaviour dictate that if you greet another person in a friendly and courteous way, they'll usually respond in kind. 4
KatZee Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 (edited) You sound young. Attractive girls get hounded constantly by guys that they aren't interested in. And it's not just being hit on. It's when you politely decline or indicate that your'e not interested, some will still pester you. So you spend a lot of time saying no to people who won't leave you alone, and you develop a barrier to keep out guys that don't know how to take no for an answer. At my job, for example, I have a handful of guys who will not take a hint. So I go as far as be rude and ignore them and not look at them or even respond, and these guys STILL follow me around. One guy has been asking me to lunch almost every week for 4 months. Last week he said I was going to have to give in at some point and I told him that no, in fact I didn't have to. If you're not getting the shield, you must be doing something right. WOmen that have it only drop it for guys they feel will respect their boundaries. You hit the nail on the head. Many if not MOST all guys are super dense. I've been single for about 4 months now, and prior to this I was a serial monogamist. I have never really been single to experience what it's like out there. I'm a good looking woman... and since becoming single ALL these guys have flooded out of the woodwork trying to date me. I'm having a BLAST being single, but there are a lot of guys who are just not getting it. I've flat out said, "I'm not interested in dating right now, I don't want to give you the wrong impression." <--- what about this statement isn't clear? And STILL these guys are asking me to dinner, inviting me to weddings, asking to cook me food, trying to take me out on weekend trips... And AGAIN I had to come out and say, "I'm not interested WHATSOEVER, in dating." I essentially had to become a bitch because it's like you guys don't have ears when we say things the first time. When I say I'm not interested, that doesn't mean pursue me 1000000x harder. It means, STOP. I'm in the same boat as you Daphne... I'm not conceited or arrogant... it's just the reality of the life I'm now living and you can't be a push over because these guys will just steamroll you. And yes, the shield only comes out when I'm not interested. I don't like playing around with people or leading them on. The shield absolutely comes down when I'm really into a guy. Edited August 24, 2012 by KatZee
todreaminblue Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 Yes. It seems to be a label that's intended to berate women for what is often a perfectly normal and reasonable degree of reserve around strangers...on the basis that the person doing the berating isn't getting what they want from a situation. The "bitch shield" of reserve that provokes those angry reactions then intensifies slightly into another "bitch shield" of ignoring and walking away from the kind of people who initiate interactions with a mindset that embraces "bitch shield" and other hostile terminology. From the other side of the fence, I've encountered other women's "bitch shields" at times. Most of us probably have. The backpacking duos who want to travel the world while shutting it out, the sourpuss in the workplace who makes your job that bit less pleasant, people who just generally have a hostile vibe about them or somebody you just happened to catch at a bad moment. Everybody's day has felt momentarily spoiled by people like that at some point....but I think that on the whole, the rules of behaviour dictate that if you greet another person in a friendly and courteous way, they'll usually respond in kind. I love what you said taramere i do think reserved shield is a good descrition i dotn think bitches have shields no shield just a bitch.... its just them they eat breathe and sleep bitch ..... i think it comes down to getting to know the difference or is it wisdom to know the difference the serenity prayer has many uses....even as a bitch avoider.......i have been called bitch by lesser men....my heart is gentle and i shield it that is honesty........with reserve i shield...... but i would never be cruel to anyone even enemies i have treated fairly......or i hope i have ......i aspire too....thanks taramere enjoyed reading your posts..off to see some night sky....have a great day ....deb 1
irc333 Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 (edited) Katzee " "I'm not interested WHATSOEVER, in dating." When a woman says this, she forgets to add the, "No interested in dating......YOU" The shield absolutely comes down when I'm really into a guy. Believe me, when a guy that grabs your attention comes along, that will change. Exactly, I mean you're just turning down these men you're not interested in. Women use this line, as "I taking a break from dating" as if she's including all men, but that will change. Edited August 25, 2012 by irc333
Negative Nancy Posted August 25, 2012 Posted August 25, 2012 Same reason I hang up on telemarketers. Unwanted invasion of privacy and personal space. You should reply like this hahaha How To Seinfeld a Telemarketer - YouTube
VodkaShots Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 Katzee " "I'm not interested WHATSOEVER, in dating." When a woman says this, she forgets to add the, "No interested in dating......YOU" Believe me, when a guy that grabs your attention comes along, that will change. Exactly, I mean you're just turning down these men you're not interested in. Women use this line, as "I taking a break from dating" as if she's including all men, but that will change. Why does she actually have to justify why she's not interested in said guy? Whether it's because she's truthfully not interested in dating atm or because she's not into him, the answer is still the same, so really.. why does it matter? Not interested still means not interested. If a man I'm into tells me he's not interested, I don't demand him to justify why, whether it's because he's interested in another woman or whatever, I accept the answer and move on, it doesn't really make a difference. 2
Thieves Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 I think "bitch shield" is a bit too strong of term to call it. Anyhow, for me personally, I don't intentionally try to come off as a bitch but more "indifferent". For instance, if I see a guy blatantly staring and I'm not really getting a good vibe from him, I'll probably smile politely and continue minding my own business. If he tries to make small talk ("How are you?"), I'd probably stick to nice one word answers and then politely excuse myself. I don't think it's all that different with men, either. Just like there are some guys out there who will a give a woman they aren't interested in or attracted to at all the "brush off". Sure, they'll maybe (pretend to) chat with the woman for a little bit, but eventually you notice that they have this constant wandering look in their eye as if they're wanting to be somewhere else, or like they're waiting for something better to come along - even moreso if that something 'better' is close within the same area. Sure, sometimes it comes off as rude, but it's a surefire sign that the person isn't interested. Which is what it comes down to. Rejection is rejection, and all of our egos can't always be coddled with a hug and kiss after experiencing it. Just take it for what it is and try to move on to the next.
KatZee Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 Katzee " "I'm not interested WHATSOEVER, in dating." When a woman says this, she forgets to add the, "No interested in dating......YOU" Oh I didn't forget this...lmao. It's absolutely true. Some guy hung out with me last week, my intentions were strictly platonic, and the whole night he kept referring to it as a date. I offered to pay my way numerous times, he refused, proceeded to touch me throughout the night. The next day I made it VERY CLEAR I was not interested in dating. And for the next few days texted me, emailed, facebook messaged me throughout the entire day. I at then point had to turn bitch shield on and be like... I'VE NEVER BEEN SINGLE I AM NOT INTERESTED IN DATING... WHATSOEVER!! And of course I meant "not interested in you." No attraction whatsoever, he turned me off the whole night. Two days later I hung out with my old high school crush, and I'd cut off 4 fingers to date him. ugh.
Hopeful30 Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 Behind every bitch there is a man that made her that way.
Mme. Chaucer Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 However, that's no excuse for walking around with an expression of perpetual annoyance on your face (which is what a bitch shield basically is). What I fail to understand is why anyone should need any excuse at all for whatever expression they have on their face when they're walking around. If it's an ugly one, then you don't want to approach that person. If it was supposed to be a "bitch shield," they didn't want you to approach them anyway. Win. If it wasn't meant to be a "bitch shield," maybe it just expressed the sourpussy disposition of the grumpy looking woman. You probably don't want to talk to her anyway. Win again. Right? 1
Mme. Chaucer Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 Behind every bitch there is a man that made her that way. I beg to differ! 1
Mme. Chaucer Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 Take yesterday for example. More than a dozen women threw up a bitch shield at me for simply watching them. We've previously discussed how the general population of women feel about being "watched" by a creeper. Yesterday you had MORE THAN ONE DOZEN instances of proof. Boy, you must really be a slow learner. I'm surprised none of them stepped up from the benign bitchface to something more potent, like mace. Boy, I can write a book about the never-ending games women play. Mr. Dro, I don't think that you illustrated any game playing by women. I think you gave a very clear example of how women react when being leered at by a creep. 1
Feelsgoodman Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 Mr. Dro, I don't think that you illustrated any game playing by women. I think you gave a very clear example of how women react when being leered at by a creep. In your sage opinion, how should men react to being checked out by women they find unattractive? It's not unusual to catch an ugly/fat/too old chick eyeing you on the subway, at a bar or even just walking down the street. Mace is illegal around here...should I just punch them?
Mme. Chaucer Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 In your sage opinion, how should men react to being checked out by women they find unattractive? It's not unusual to catch an ugly/fat/too old chick eyeing you on the subway, at a bar or even just walking down the street. Mace is illegal around here...should I just punch them? Well, I wasn't really musing about mace as a deterrent to unwanted approaches. I was visualizing Shaun-dro "watching" more than a dozen women who were going about their personal business, who ALL were trying to deflect him. I got the impression of a very seriously creepy stalkerish behavior. Granted, if one of those women walked up to him and sprayed mace in his face, she would have risked arrest. It might have been worth it, though. For your particular situation, you might want to cultivate your own, personalized form of "bastard shield." Maybe something along these lines: http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQjm2medfWqVp0PLgbHwnILc1uifG_XimglGfkev_ZB2LGzym1s If you blast them with a big raspberry, that will also warn them to keep their distance.
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