lemonlegs Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 I know mostly everyone here has had their heart broken so I'm curious. Now without jumping the gun and thinking "HELL NO, my ex is a b***h, douche, jerk, etc," think about this. Maybe answers from those who have healed can answer better. Most of you seem to want another chance with your ex or think they're amazing people, SO.... Do you find yourself looking for someone who is similar to your ex, or is your current SO similar to your ex? If so, how?
Hindsight_is_20_20 Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 I know mostly everyone here has had their heart broken so I'm curious. Now without jumping the gun and thinking "HELL NO, my ex is a b***h, douche, jerk, etc," think about this. Maybe answers from those who have healed can answer better. Most of you seem to want another chance with your ex or think they're amazing people, SO.... Do you find yourself looking for someone who is similar to your ex, or is your current SO similar to your ex? If so, how? If I could take his looks and switch out pretty much everything about his personality then that'd be my perfect man.
2muchlove Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 I think in the early stages of the break up most people would give anything to be with an exact replica with maybe a few tweaks. I was that way with my first love years ago, I thought she was perfect. But when the fog lifted and time passed I realized that's not at all what I wanted. At that point I vowed never to be with a girl like that again. And I haven't been with a girl like that since. Now with this latest girl (we will call her love #2) was the polar opposite of #1. And though it's still a relatively fresh break up I already don't want a girl like her ever again. Which brings me to the next point... If I could put #1 and #2 together? I would have the ultimate girlfriend. I never go backwards. If I don't get something better and more beneficial than what I used to have then I failed myself. And that's my 2 cents on the matter. 1
todreaminblue Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 I know mostly everyone here has had their heart broken so I'm curious. Now without jumping the gun and thinking "HELL NO, my ex is a b***h, douche, jerk, etc," think about this. Maybe answers from those who have healed can answer better. Most of you seem to want another chance with your ex or think they're amazing people, SO.... Do you find yourself looking for someone who is similar to your ex, or is your current SO similar to your ex? If so, how? No it would stop me from dating someone if i thought they were like my ex....its not fair on the person involved i wrote something and deleted it because it sounded derogatory to my ex and to me actually... i dont hate him just didnt want to date him anymore or again.....deb
weallfalldown Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 nooooo..........everyone's different, that's the whole point right/???????
KatZee Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 I would keep the general appearance. I have a certain type and looking back on all my boyfriends, they've always followed the same pattern. Dark/handsome. I like Italian guys. I would like my next boyfriend to have the same characteristics my ex PRETENDED to feel for me. When things with us were good, they were very, very good. We never were sick of each other, we did everything together, we were able to be goofy together, we laughed at the same stupid sh*t, we both loved being physical with each other, in public and just us together. We had the same drive for sex. He did little things that I always loved... scratching my head or my back... or we'd have tickle fights. I just want someone I can click with on that same level, someone I'm going to find physically attractive (I'm super picky so this is a hard one for me... too many things turn me off, and my ex was super anal about keeping perfect hygiene, etc.)
weallfalldown Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 hey...i'm dark, tall, and handsmome....haha
carhill Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 Do you find yourself looking for someone who is similar to your ex, or is your current SO similar to your ex? If so, how? Save for the glue which one must feel consistently and proactively and express to one's partner, essentially transparent emotional intimacy, my exW had and has a lot going for her. So, I don't doubt that I would look for many similar attributes in a future spouse, coupled with having healthier and more vocal canaries about the emotional intimacy part. No one is perfect and we all have to draw a line somewhere for health.
MyHeartTakesOver Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 (edited) I'd broadly like something different this time around. My ex was 20 years older, next time I want someone no more than 5 years older. My ex was smart and had a beautiful voice and these are two things I find attractive so would like those qualities but in a different form. Other physical things, I find Med and Levantine looks very attractive (my ex partner descended from Spanish Jews) and would go for that again. Mentally/emotionally the same? No thanks! Edited August 23, 2012 by MyHeartTakesOver
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