taiberra Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 (edited) So three years ago I met this girl online and I know what you're thinking, "oh its online its not real, get over it", well its real to me. It wasn't on a dating site or anything, it was err.. Xbox Live, lol I know I know. So at first it was just a little crush so I didn't think too much of it. After a while I just really started to like her but she had a boyfriend, and so I just backed off like I should but once they broke up we started talking and she just asked me things like, did I have girlfriend and stuff and when I told her I never had one she seemed to be kind of surprised by it. For a while after she just started to act more flirty and just always wanting to talk to me, and then we sort of got in a relationship. Everything was good for a while but for some reason that I honestly cannot remember I just started to ignore her and eventually deleted her. I can't remember why but I did. After months of not talking I went back and apologized to her and she accepted my apology. Once again for a month or two everything was just fine. At this point I fell in love ( this was last year around like January ) She said she loved me too... But then I did it again . But this time it was because well I guess I got jealous because she just always talked to other guys and not me and I felt like she didn't really like me anymore, even though she told me she loved me and it seemed when we were just one on one that she did but when other people came in it seemed like I was just thrown aside, but I used to be really shy talking to her now I can be myself, which is pretty much the opposite. So now I've finally gotten over all the stupid things like getting jealous, I've learned my lesson for sure, I DEFINITELY would never screw this up again given the chance, and I really am sorry and I really do love her, but she doesn't believe me. Which I can definitely understand, I wouldn't believe me either, I know I'm a screw up, I know she deserves someone better but I still want to fix this between us and I really want to make it all up to her. It's not like I'm the typical teenager 'player' who treats love like a game, I really hoped I was going to marry this girl all along and the mistakes I made definitely weren't how I really felt. I try and pour it all out to her and just explain things but she just cannot trust me anymore. It's like she thinks I'm out to upset her when in reality I've just made some childish mistakes. ( I was 13 when I met her now I'm 16, I really am new to this ). But she was my first 'girlfriend' I didn't know what to do and part of the reason I made those mistakes was because I don't have the self-confidence to think that anyone would ever love me. Especially someone as perfect as her. Inside and out she is perfect in my eyes and in my opinion way out of my league. I just don't know what to do now, I don't really see myself ever loving anyone else and I really want to fix this, nothing I could say would probably work and trying to get over her definitely hasn't worked in the past year I've been trying. I just seem to love her more and more everyday. I guess what I'm asking is what should I do? Sorry for the long post by the way.. Edited August 22, 2012 by taiberra
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