WonderKid Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 Ladies if you are talking to a guy for a while and he doesn't bring up sexual subjects, will you get bored? Or is that a turn off for you? Would you ever bring up sexual subjects first?
Feelin Frisky Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 Not a chick, obviously, but I have always made it a point to reserve any remarks or talk about sex until after some kind of connection exists where it won't come out as aggressive or impulsive. When I was a teen and a family with hot girls moved on my block who had several pretty friends, I saw dudes I had known all my youth come out of their mouths with sexual remarks that went over extremely poorly. I wound up being popular with these ladies, and my "friends" turned on me out of jealousy. I'd rather be popular with the ladies than be in a posse of loyal schmucks who trip over themselves. Perhaps one can be slow on the opposite end--but women will fill you in on that. 1
pteromom Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 I do not want sexual subjects brought up at all unless: - we already have or are well on our way to a physical relationship or - we are just friends and he's filling me in on his dating life, etc. Nothing creepier than a guy who starts talking about sex too early. Definitely a turn-off for me. The subject shouldn't even come up at ALL the first couple dates. 2
Author WonderKid Posted August 22, 2012 Author Posted August 22, 2012 I was having a discussion with someone recently over this. I feel the same way you do. I just feel like there's other things to talk about. But my godbrother been talking to a woman recently and they have been texting and communicating well. But it was to a point to where communication was limited--to none at all. He did not make any sexual subjects, and his mom said that maybe that could have been a factor. She probably felt like he was too nice or something.
somedude81 Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 And of course if the guy doesn't talk about sex by a certain time, the girl will write him off just as a friend. 1
Author WonderKid Posted August 22, 2012 Author Posted August 22, 2012 And of course if the guy doesn't talk about sex by a certain time, the girl will write him off just as a friend. ^^^ I like how you did that LoL Is it like a sign of lack of aggression? And is it a problem for her to bring up a sexual subject at a certain time? 1
pteromom Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 And of course if the guy doesn't talk about sex by a certain time, the girl will write him off just as a friend. I don't agree with your statement. I think if a guy doesn't make SOME effort and show SOME interest by a certain time, he is likely to be written off as a friend. The truth is that women (and especially young women) are incredibly insecure for the most part. Look how many "Is he interested?" threads exist on LS. A guy has to show a girl he likes her, so she doesn't have to create "Is he interested?" threads for random internet strangers. But talking about sex too early could definitely be a dealbreaker. I'd make this the rule - don't talk about sex unless SHE brings it up first OR you have slept with her. 1
Titanwolf Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 It depends on the individual. Everyone has their own standards. I don't directly talk about sex, but I am adept at making innuendos and redirecting topics onto something sexual. I'm a virgin though, so it doesn't count and they always reciprocate with laughter. Then again, the women I know are paradoxes. 2
pteromom Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 But it was to a point to where communication was limited--to none at all. He did not make any sexual subjects, and his mom said that maybe that could have been a factor. She probably felt like he was too nice or something. I don't agree with his mom. It could have been she wasn't sure he was interested. Could have been another guy in the picture. Most likely, there was just not a lasting connection for her. Happens a lot. 1
pteromom Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 It depends on the individual. Everyone has their own standards. I don't directly talk about sex, but I am adept at making innuendos and redirecting topics onto something sexual. I'm a virgin though, so it doesn't count and they always reciprocate with laughter. Then again, the women I know are paradoxes. This is JOKING, and is a whole different thing. Everyone has a friend who does what you do. 1
somedude81 Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 I don't agree with your statement. I think if a guy doesn't make SOME effort and show SOME interest by a certain time, he is likely to be written off as a friend. The truth is that women (and especially young women) are incredibly insecure for the most part. Look how many "Is he interested?" threads exist on LS. A guy has to show a girl he likes her, so she doesn't have to create "Is he interested?" threads for random internet strangers. But talking about sex too early could definitely be a dealbreaker. I'd make this the rule - don't talk about sex unless SHE brings it up first OR you have slept with her. And I disagree with you. Wait until she brings it up and it's simply never going to happen. Yes, talking about sex too soon is a bad thing, but not doing it at all is far worse. 1
Author WonderKid Posted August 22, 2012 Author Posted August 22, 2012 I don't agree with your statement. I think if a guy doesn't make SOME effort and show SOME interest by a certain time, he is likely to be written off as a friend. The truth is that women (and especially young women) are incredibly insecure for the most part. Look how many "Is he interested?" threads exist on LS. A guy has to show a girl he likes her, so she doesn't have to create "Is he interested?" threads for random internet strangers. But talking about sex too early could definitely be a dealbreaker. I'd make this the rule - don't talk about sex unless SHE brings it up first OR you have slept with her. You kinda hit it on the button right there. Because I think some women thinks that the guys are all about sex, which is true sometimes. So I don't bring it up. But in the back of my head I think, am I not being aggressive enough? But for a woman to bring up a sexual subject I think is rare. The most common thing she'll probably say is, "Are you a virgin?" That's bout it.
Author WonderKid Posted August 22, 2012 Author Posted August 22, 2012 Oh alright I never looked at it that way
pteromom Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 And I disagree with you. Wait until she brings it up and it's simply never going to happen. Yes, talking about sex too soon is a bad thing, but not doing it at all is far worse. I can only speak for myself, but if a guy starts talking about sex before I am ready to, it puts me off him.
veggirl Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 And I disagree with you. Wait until she brings it up and it's simply never going to happen. Yes, talking about sex too soon is a bad thing, but not doing it at all is far worse. No, no SomeDude. TALKING about sex is a turn off if the guy is like trying to sext or ask what turns you on and all that s.hit before you have even HAD sex. That seems like they just want to fk. MAKING A MOVE is what the guy needs to do. Not making a move soon enough is a turn off. 1
pteromom Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 Because I think some women thinks that the guys are all about sex, which is true sometimes. So I don't bring it up. But in the back of my head I think, am I not being aggressive enough? But for a woman to bring up a sexual subject I think is rare. An easy way to slide into it (no pun intended!) is to do what Titanwolf does. Turn sexual-sounding comments into innuendos (not ALL of them though; you don't want to seem single-minded). Make jokes based around sex. If she responds well, great. If not, stop doing it. When she is ready to go there, she'll likely turn the jokes into conversation... Her: (talking about random subject) "...but it was too big to fit." You: "That's what she said." Her: "LOL! LOL! I don't understand why someone would want a big one anyway..." Kinda a dumb example, but hopefully you get my point. The conversation about sex, just like everything else, should just happen naturally. 1
somedude81 Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 No, no SomeDude. TALKING about sex is a turn off if the guy is like trying to sext or ask what turns you on and all that s.hit before you have even HAD sex. That seems like they just want to fk. MAKING A MOVE is what the guy needs to do. Not making a move soon enough is a turn off. I think we are confusing what talking about sex really means. For me, talking about sex is using heavy innuendo, using sexual jokes etc. Stuff to get her thinking about it. Saying, "hey baby do you like it in the back," is something different.
veggirl Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 I think we are confusing what talking about sex really means. For me, talking about sex is using heavy innuendo, using sexual jokes etc. Stuff to get her thinking about it. Saying, "hey baby do you like it in the back," is something different. Oh Then yes, what you are saying is acceptable! I don't like sexual jokes too much if we haven't had sex but I might be an oddball with that. I wouldn't use heavy innuendo if you haven't had sex yet. Okay for example, my friend at work just started talking to a guy online, they exchanged #s and and were texting while she was at work. He started getting sexual, saying he would please her in a way no man ever has :sick: That s.hit is too much before you have even met, but a sexy JOKE here and there is okay. I think it's too much when it gets to sexting (or attempting to) and the like before you've had sex. A flirty joke is just that...not overtly sexual. Anywho!!!
pteromom Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 For me, talking about sex is using heavy innuendo, using sexual jokes etc. Stuff to get her thinking about it. I get what you are saying. I think you still want to be careful doing this. Relying on sexually tinged jokes too heavily can backfire. You don't want to come across as someone who is only about sex or is a player. The most important thing, whether you do or don't talk about sex, is to watch her reaction and respect her. If you make a sexual joke and she grimaces or her eyes widen in shock, it's probably good to dial it back a bit. If she laughs and joins in, go for it!
pteromom Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 He started getting sexual, saying he would please her in a way no man ever has :sick: Gag!!!! Yep, that would send me running away. Probably not before I said "Maybe, but you'd never please me in a way a woman has." or "Perhaps, but I doubt you'll live up to that time with three guys in Vegas... (fading off into daydream)" J/K by the way.
Titanwolf Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 "Perhaps, but I doubt you'll live up to that time with three guys in Vegas... (fading off into daydream)" J/K by the way. Dammit woman! you almost gave me a heart attack 1
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