kye1987 Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 Alright all you love guru's out there... I need your help figuring this guy out. We will call him “M”. M works at the coffee shop I go to daily. I understand part of his job is to make the customers day and all that but I felt a connection with him the moment I met him. Over a couple months M and I got really flirty with each other. He put all the signals out there like remembering my favorite flavors, teasing me that he was going to make a drink with my two least favorite flavors (which he actually did one day and thought it was hilarious), touching me in little ways, throwing little things at me in cute ways, complimenting me sometimes boldly and sometimes subtly, sharing his food with me, always staying where we could see each other, finding little ways to be near me, giving me the special treatment he doesn't give his friends... he even sketched a heart in my latte one day. I thought (and still think) he might be interested in me. One day I sent him a message on facebook asking him if he would like to do something with me, catch a movie maybe... He said his girlfriend probably wouldn't appreciate that. Needless to say, I was pretty pissed that M had led me on for this long and not told me about her. I started going to Starbucks after this. Well, a few days after I told myself and most of my friends I wasn't going to the coffee shop where he worked anymore, he practically broadcast it all over facebook that he and his girlfriend had broken up. I thought about it for a few days and decided he deserved a second chance because I knew I felt something real with great potential there. I went back to where he works and as soon as I walked in he was super excited to see me. I was still a little mad at him for what he had done and I felt that he picked up on that. He started teasing me that he was going to make a latte with the flavors I don't like and I could not stop this smile from creeping across my face. The next time I was in there he asked me what I was doing that day and told me what he had planned. I could tell that he was hinting he'd like me to come along, but I didn't want to take the bait since he had only broken up with his girlfriend (of four or five months) less than a week ago. The next day I went in and he was flirty as usual, teasing me and what not....I told him I need to give him something new to tease me about and he said I couldn't do that because he teases everybody about everything, which I find to not be true. He hasn't teased me about it since. He's recently picked up tossing my name into a sentence whenever he can as well. So one day this past week I go in to get my latte. He starts to ask me what I want (in terms of coffee). I said “ you know what I want..” (in terms of coffee and sort of referring to him) and out of nowhere he said, “ No I don't. Nobody knows what you want. You don't even know what you want.” I could tell he switched from talking about coffee to talking about life or our whatever kind of relationship we have. I guess my question is.... what does he want from me? I can't tell him what I want unless I know what he wants first
Ninjainpajamas Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 So this guy flirts with like crazy while he has a GF, putting little hearts on your latte and showing you he is interested only to blow you off because he had a GF yet all of a sudden he decides to break up with his GF and now you think he would make good relationship material? LOL! Seriously, It's situations like this where I can never understand how some women can't run two pennies together to figure out what kind of guy this is. Do you think he wouldn't do the same thing to you? Do you not see how he disrespected his current GF by acting the way he was with you? Oh no of course it doesn't matter because that's not your problem...you're not the GF so why should you care right?...well guess what, next time you may be the GF and the next girl he's flirting with might be thinking just like you. But honestly you both sound young/immature so this ridiculousness is kind of expected...I think you're a fool for giving him a chance, what a man does with another woman he can surely do to you...don't think you're special or some kind of exception to the rule...that's one of the biggest lessons women need to learn so the faster you get that you can't bend the rules...what you have...what chemistry/love yadda yadda yadda doesn't magically make all those wrongs right then you'll save yourself a lot of trouble. You can easily end up the rebound girl, or just the girl he needed to come along to get the balls to leave his current GF. It's all young petty stuff, so I'm not sure what you're confused about...the writing is on the wall and many young women are doing the exact same thing right now and then wondering why they ended up with a jerk when Mr. nice and sweet wasn't so nice and sweet. But hey, maybe he is! I mean you never know If you don't try right? maybe you just need to see what happens Honestly just protect yourself and use your head as much as possible, I know impulsively what you want to do but I do think it's wise of you to seek out other advice on a dating forum since you're trying to weigh your options here...i just hope you're actually able to weigh in the options than just go with your emotions like most would...he just wants to play games with you and make it look like you're the one with issues and what he wants is simple, you should have stayed going to starbucks imo...but hey you never know what will turn into a relationship, you both after all have a lot of learning and growing up to do, just realize this guy definitely looks like someone who plays games, is manipulative/charming and will take you for a ride...wouldn't trust him with 100 ft pole If I were you, but that's just coming from a man, and boys will be boys.
ja123 Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 "i just hope you're actually able to weigh in the options than just go with your emotions like most would...he just wants to play games with you and make it look like you're the one with issues and what he wants is simple, you should have stayed going to starbucks imo" I agree with this. ^ This guy is selfish and manipulative. Go back to Starbucks.
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