CFJose Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 So my girlfriend and I broke up officially last night. It was one of the hardest things that I have ever gone through emotionally. Not being able to see, touch, kiss, hold, share emotions with, that you have for almost two years is going to be difficult. We both agreed that our current relationship wasn't working and so we both thought it was best if we broke up. We talked about what were going to miss most about each other, we talked about the good times, and the great experiences we both had with one another. When it worked it was a beautiful thing don't get me wrong. But like I told her, the timing of everything was just not there. We were constantly on different pages and which in the end ended our relationship. Though we agreed we will remain friends, space and time to heal is what is needed. So, I guess you can call it a mutual breakup. But my question is what should I expect moving forward? She also mentioned that if it is meant to be that we will inevitably find each other once again. If that is true what are the chances of it really happening? This is so difficult, I can feel my inside shredding. I'm 26 she is 23. This is my first "serious" relationship
yessy21 Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 And here i thought that Breaking up mutually was a nonheartbreaking move. Time will help you heal. When you want something to work... you will make it work. If you dont, you let it fall apart and then make excuses of why it didnt work. the chances of you getting back together within the first year would be high... but after that it would be Very Very low. Expect to feel your heart to sink when you see her walking with another guy. Expect to think of her a lot. Expect to move on. if something didnt work the first time, what makes you think that it could work the second time?
Author CFJose Posted August 22, 2012 Author Posted August 22, 2012 This is actually the second we are breaking up. I will admit that both times it is because of me. I did the same thing last time, I did this time, at some point I stopped trying and which is another reason why we broke up. Though I know it won't be easy, I just don't know what I am suppose to do. I am in limbo right now and am just so lost. I never thought this would happen again. I just hope that fait will run its course and we can end up with each other again. But this time we stay with one another forever.
PegNosePete Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 She also mentioned that if it is meant to be that we will inevitably find each other once again. If that is true what are the chances of it really happening? 1 in 10. OK seriously - umm, nobody can tell you the "chances" of that happening. There is no such thing as "meant to be". It is possible that you will get back together at some point in the future and maybe you will look back and think in hindsight it seems like it was meant to be. But really? "Meant to be"? To say something is meant to be implies that we do not have freedom of choice. Sorry I do not believe our lives and destinies are mapped out, and that we cannot control our own futures. If you get back together then it will be because you meet again and both choose to try again. Not because the flying spaghetti monster (or your deity of choice) has written in some book of destiny that you will get back together. I did the same thing last time ... I just don't know what I am suppose to do. Well - not the same thing you did both times before! Learn from your mistakes, don't repeat them.
yessy21 Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 it can happen. i met a couple once that after being separated for 20 years they reunited. they married, and had children with other people and one day they saw each other again and the timing was perfect. It could happen. the chances are just low.
levi.cox Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 Sorry to hear about your break but I agree with user PegNosePete "Learn from your mistakes do not repeat them." It sounds to me that you can save all this heartache and the best way is by maybe sitting down with her and letting her know exactly how you feel. Although I know it may be embarrassing and you wouldnt know what to say, but once you see her it will all fall into place. If you both mutually loved each other not only as partners but as friends most importantly, I'm sure the chances are high that she feels the exact same way. I had gone through the exact same mutual breakup you just went through 6 mths ago and let me tell you...those by far are the most healthiest breakups alive and the chances of those couples ending up back together is like 95%... The breakup in itself shows that there is room for growth and that maybe just a little bit of space was needed to clear some frustration, we are all human it happens. It's that moment when you can really sit back and know what you had was real, and if you really have some time on your hands you need to figure out why you didn't learn from your mistakes and if you really loved her, how could you let it slip out of your hands that easy? This mirrors what happened to my last relationship and luckily we are back together and I do plan on asking for her hand in marriage by the end of this yr. All you have to do to get back on track is rebuild a trust and it will bit by bit work out, but like anything that is wounded, the healing process is the hardest to get through but if you both agreed to do it as one it will turn out so much easier and for the better. At the time of my break I came to an understanding that all the other flings and relationships that I had could never compared to what I had, and that I couldn't picture myself with anyone else and if you feel that way trust me that type of relationship and partner doesn't come everyday. If you still miss her don't waste anymore time, our intuition is an answer in itself follow what you feel is right before its too late.
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