Emilia Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 Imagine if when you and your significant other got a flat tire, he refused to go out and change it because you assumed he would due to him having a penis. Are you going to go out in the cold and the rain to change the tire? Hate to break it to you but many of us would yes. * Emilia holds up her hand * Managed to do it in the middle of the wilderness in Africa on a 4x4, more than capable of doing it in rainy London thank you very much
Emilia Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 How much do you WOMEN think men should be able to do some of the household stuff? I live on my own so I don't need a cleaner but I did have one for years when I was living abroad or when I was sharing a house. I also had one when I was living with a man. If I started living with someone again, I'd hire a cleaner because I don't believe that two people that work full time and can afford some help should put that much more pressure on themselves. About 30 quid a week would cover it, not really an issue usually with two fully employed adults. There would be just the cooking/DIY/minor tidying to share. No biggie
hotgurl Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 I think everyone should be able to cook and clean. Most people live alone at some point prior to getting married/living together. So you should have the basic ability to feed yourself and pick up after yourself. I myself do most of he cooking but I like to cook. Chores is our house are surprisingly divided among traditional gender lines. But a lot of it is based on our individual strengths. The disturbing trend I have noticed is that the longer we live together the sloppier he becomes. so now I have to pick up after him. Plus this pisses me off I have to do the dishes. I hate doing the dishes.
Woggle Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 I don't expect a woman to cook and clean all the time but she shouldn't expect me to live up to my stereotypical gender roles. Honestly there is a lot of hypocrisy when it comes to this issue from some people.
Negative Nancy Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 I'm not saying a woman being a SAHM is bad or obsolete, but I am simply addressing this topic in asking what are the men-folk asking for? Personally, I tell guys who want a woman who can cook/clean that they should then plan on a marriage where he is the breadwinner and she stays home to be the homemaker. The ridiculous point (even from my male viewpoint) are guys who want the woman to work, bring home 50% of the household income (but not make more than him), and yet also toss on an apron to cook, clean, and raise the kids while he watches the game on TV. Very good point. When i read some postings of the men here, it seems a woman just cant win: if she stays home and takes care of the kids, she's a lazy gold digging ho and accused of putting too heavy a load on her poor overworked husband. Yet if she goes out to work to support the family, she's accused of being more concerned about money than the welfare of her kids and her mothering is held suspect. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Actually, I have often comforted my H when we have been out walking at night, whether at home or when we have been travelling, and he has felt scared or uncomfortable. He is much more likely than I am to feel uncomfortable or scared at night in a dark alley. I have walked alone at night in cities around the world and tend to feel safer on the streets. I take his hand and say words that I think will help him calm down until we reach a place where he feels safer. There's something very wrong with this picture... YOU comfort HIM in a dark alley? So if someone attacks you guys, is your boyfriend also going to run away while you kick the attacker's head in?
Pyro Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 Hate to break it to you but many of us would yes. * Emilia holds up her hand * Managed to do it in the middle of the wilderness in Africa on a 4x4, more than capable of doing it in rainy London thank you very much but that only makes you an exception to the rule and your point will be ignored. 2
AD1980 Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 (edited) Well then id hope women dont expect men to lead or be mr handy just because we have penises but ive seen tons of posts here of women expecting it from a man I dont think either gender should expect anything but it seems when a man does theres complete outrage:laugh: Edited August 23, 2012 by AD1980
rainfall Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 This is understandable. I never said it was solely womens fault that they don't cook or do anything traditionally feminine any more, a lot of it has been imposed on them by a tiny clique of feminists working in conjunction (knowingly or unknowingly) with big monopolies to flood the labor market creating an asexual and cheap service industry economy. 2 cash register monkeys for the price of 1 , now that's a Wal-Mart bargain you can't get anywhere else! Yeah right now I work a cash register job. I am going to vet school though, so once I am finished in school I am going to be making decent money. There is no reason why I should have to stay home and not work just because I am female. If my SO ever expected me to cook and clean for him he better be willing and ready for me to not work and for him to be able to pay for everything I want and or need. (I DON'T want this by the way, I am just saying if he wants me to be willing to do all "womans job", then he better be willing to do the "mans job"
samsungxoxo Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 (edited) So what do you girls think about one day a mouse running across the room and your mate jumping on the table screaming "HALLPPP ME" with his hands over his mouth? Better yet, how would you feel if you were walking around at night, heard a spooky noise and your man jumped in your arms biting his finger nails like scooby doo?I like mice so wouldn't mind if my future bf doesn't. My only concern would be where did the mouse come from and if it has rabies so I might wear gloves if I were to catch it (then I would just put it aside). Regarding the spooky noise scenerio, depends on how often he got scared? To be honest, I would be equally annoyed if anyone (man or woman) got scared for anything. If you were to find any of that to be disappointing, then you should sympathize with men who expect you to make them something to eat when they get home tired from work. It's not about taking advanatage of women, it's about working together.Ok let's say I were to right now live with a bf. When would I actually have time to cook an elaborate meal for him if I always return home at around 5:15PM. Then on Wednesdays and Fridays I'll have classes from 6-10PM (in that case, by the time I'm back it's already 11 PM). In addition, I like taking my time studying for the exams which I can't just read the whole book in an hour obviously. So overall, I'm tired by then. Now it's two tired people. Are you saying I would have to actually quit my job and stop studying. I guess there would have to be an arrangement in this case. You just assume only the man came tired from work. What if both are working and come home late? I don't get why women in particular who are single, seem to bring up that they have a college degree, this has nothing to do with whether you are good wife or relationship material at all to virile men that reject those stupid American bourgeois notions that a piece of paper or your paycheck actually means you have class .Maybe some don't want kids at all. I know I don't. That doesn't mean they won't get married or be in a relationship eventually. Even if they don't want a relationship ever, so what? It's what they want. Everyone has a different lifestyle. Not every single one of us cares about becoming a stay-at-home nurturing mother who loves kids. Why not look for your dream girl? I'm sure there are still some that have urges to reproduce and take time to make you a complicated dish. Edited August 24, 2012 by samsungxoxo
veggirl Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 This is gonna piss off many posters. Anyone who brings up feminism, masculinism and fighting against preconceived gender roles is not good relationship material. It's that simple. It first starts with 'but i'm not your slave so i don't need to cook, we can eat out', and it ends up with 'i have the vagina, i make the rules'. These ppl [male or female] need to be avoided like the plague. My mom and dad both worked, both had degrees [my mom's was higher and neither was the pisspoor extended HS that college is today]. They both cooked [my dad slightly better], and they both did things around the house. My dad hated cleaning, he would shut down so my mom did that and my dad did other stuff. So when i read some of the women today say 'i have a degree, i work' as a response to the basic expectation of taking care of herself ... i start to upchuck. Eating out ... and then you wonder why you can't shake those debts faster. I agree with all of this. As far as the OP, I am not a huge fan of cooking and don't enjoy cleaning, BUT I would expect my man to be changing the oil, doing the yardwork, doing the "manual labor" type of things, so yeah if I was married I would have no problem being in charge of the cooking and cleaning. I am not sure why people get offended at the thought. I mean chores need to be divied up somehow, anyway. I get it if your hubby is a friggin chef, yeah he'll probably cook, but MOSTLY men are doing the "manual labor" type of chores so why wouldn't the woman take care of the cleaning/cooking? I would not be offended if my man said he expected to me to do the lions share of those chores because I expect him to do the lions share of a different set of chores.
threebyfate Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 The ridiculous point (even from my male viewpoint) are guys who want the woman to work, bring home 50% of the household income (but not make more than him), and yet also toss on an apron to cook, clean, and raise the kids while he watches the game on TV.This appears to be the entitled guys. The ones who want the supermodel.
Robert Z Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 This appears to be the entitled guys. The ones who want the supermodel. I would have been happy with "cooks almost half the time". Of course I still got to do ALL of the manly things, meaning anything she didn't like to do, which was everything but whatever she felt like doing at the moment.
FitChick Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 I'll do the cooking if he does the washing up afterwards.
Author GG3 Posted August 24, 2012 Author Posted August 24, 2012 You do understand what I was going for though, right? I see articles all over the net speaking of how many modern women do not have the domestic skills their moms did, mainly because they pushed to get careers...and even how many men need to learn these skills as well since those SAHW days are gone for most people. I'm not saying a woman being a SAHM is bad or obsolete, but I am simply addressing this topic in asking what are the men-folk asking for? Personally, I tell guys who want a woman who can cook/clean that they should then plan on a marriage where he is the breadwinner and she stays home to be the homemaker. The ridiculous point (even from my male viewpoint) are guys who want the woman to work, bring home 50% of the household income (but not make more than him), and yet also toss on an apron to cook, clean, and raise the kids while he watches the game on TV. Exactly! This particular guy I was dating appeared to want to just do HIS things while I would cook or whatever else he needed from me. I just want to point out to everyone...I'm reading a lot of posts saying "my mom and dad both cooked..." which are good points, but this is someone I was DATING. We only were seeing each other TWO nights a week. This is not someone I was living with or married to and we had only been dating a few months when he snapped at me for not cooking. And he was not open to spending more time together because he didn't want to give up his sports that he plays 6 days a week or some of his other commitments/activities. So if we are only seeing each other two nights a week, I thought it was unreasonable to expect me to cook. To me it appeared he wanted someone cooking and helping maintain his house while he did HIS things and he was seeking a woman to be his wife that could do all of this. I also want to add in regard to some of the posts about men not caring about a woman with a degree...he specifically said he WANTS a woman with a degree and a high paying job like mine. AND he does not want that woman to quit her job if they got married. So what I was seeing was the expectation to maintain my full-time job and come home and cook and clean while he does his sports or other things he wants to do. I could just see myself sitting there with my two kids saying "Where's daddy? Why isn't he going to do this with us?" while I cooked and cleaned and did everything. This guy was 42 years old. Part of me has been wondering...he grew up in the generation that still had a lot of stay at home moms and started working in a society where most women are working full-time out of the house now. He remembers how great it was having a mom at home to take care of him, but sees the monetary benefit of having a working career woman and is confused that you can't have it BOTH ways. If we are both going to work full-time jobs then we BOTH have to do the household chores and responsibilities. It's not the only guy from that age group I've dated that seems to have that mentality.
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