crrogers Posted July 16, 2004 Posted July 16, 2004 I am hoping to be the beneficiary of some of the sound advice I have seenso commonly on this forum. Although I think this person sounds fairly unstable, I was wondering what you think - I approached this very good looking man, who is significantly older than I (12 yrs or so), at a bar last week. Well, the bar was loud and I was lonely, so I invited him to come home with me. He assented and spent the night (nothing sexual happened). Since that "date", he has called me 1x day and we talk for around an hour before I end the phone conversation. One of his favorite lines is "I hope you're not forming a bad impression of me -- I probably shouldn't tell you so much...", then he goes on to reveal personal things. For example, he mentioned that he has a vascular condition (atherosclerosis) that is going to shorten his life significantly. i replied that I was sorry, but at the same time this was not any of my business so early in the game. (odd for someone to say who doesn't want to be rejected...) He just said he wanted to be honest because we were "dating." At another point in the evening, he said that he knew the age disparity between us was going to be a problem. I replied that although we weren't dating, "if it did progress to actual dating, I don't have a problem with a 10 yr age difference." He then said that gay men often stray and all the good ones were taken, and he has come to terms with the fact that he was going to grow old and die alone .... I thought that the last statement was really over the top.... Another odd trait is that he is very, very affectionate, almost to the point of being saccharine. I had a sore throat at dinner one night and he kept on saying things akin to "poor baby, I wish there was something I could do to make you better." I thought this amount of sympathy was inordinate... The third area of concern is that he has a bad habit of engaging in a lot of "I know what you're thinking/What you're thinking is wrong" thoughts. The night he stayed over he told me that he had to go home and get his pills. He then proceeded to say that "I know what you're thinking, these aren't pills for AIDS but for my heart, etc." I can kind of see where a statement like that would come from -- the gay community has been hit hard by HIV -- but I still can't completely understand a statement like that. I sometimes wonder if he may have HIV or AIDS because he has a membership to an on-line gay dating site that he told me he has used for hook-ups. In his defense, though, this practice is common among gay men. He is a CPA and has a stable employment history, so I guess that points to the fact that he is at least somewhat stable. He is only calling me one time/day, so that's another good thing. However, all the aforementioned things seem a little odd. If you were in my shoes, would you continue to see this person or do you think he is odd to a fault? Thanks
Olivia_19742004 Posted July 16, 2004 Posted July 16, 2004 Do you enjoy your time with him? Do you look forward to talking to him? Do you imagine different things for the two of you to do? If you don't find yourself wanting to be around him, even with all the things you mentioned, then there's no reason to pursue it. How do you feel about him? Forget the odd comments/activities. Is there any attraction on your part?
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