I must be cursed or something

[bluegreen]

My dad destroyed two marriages his own family and left along with me other 5 children fatherless to play "war hero" he ended up dead no one even knows where his grave is.

 

My mom is self destructive confirmed narcissist who has serious health issues but still keeps up with bad eating and behaving habits and that's just beginning of long ugly tale.

 

And now my s/o is going trough hell trying his best and more to protect his very easily might be guilty close family member from going to prison will he succeed its left to see but our relationship is already suffering even tough he is amazing bf and I try my best to be there from him.

 

What's my question well its this:

Are some people really cursed is it bad karma or something In all 3 cases

I never had chance to do anything to stop these train wrecks but even if I never did anything wrong each in its own way had hurt me bad at the end.

 

 

 

 

How do people deal with these kind of situations they can't stop them change or are guilty of them yet they will pay for them anyway has this ever happened to anyone else ?

 

 

 

 

 

PS : And as you can see I did not choose either of 3 scenarios either but found myself in them trough circumstances

Edited August 22, 2012 by bluegreen
to clarify point

[El Brujo]

I don't think of my situation as a curse, I just think of it as my own bad luck at being born into a time and place I don't belong.

 

It's not my fault that I'm sane and everyone else around me is crazy...

[carhill]

OP, IMO beyond those formative years where we are dependent upon our carers, we make choices in our lives, right up until the moment we die and, hopefully, that isn't for many decades and we go out fighting. Along the way, everything, right down to me typing this response to you, is a choice.

 

When you make a choice, it's yours. You own it. Whatever results from it is your path until you make another choice.

 

Your mother is a narcissist. OK, accepted. You choose how to interact with her. Whatever results from that choice is your path until your next choice.

 

You choose the man who is your S/O. You choose how to interact with him. You choose how to process his actions regarding his family member and how to react to them. Every point along the way is a choice and you are actively involved in every moment of it. It's your path.

 

If you don't like the path, make different choices. It's up to you. You're in charge

[bluegreen]

Yes I chose to consider fact who my dad was and proclaim I have no one or ever had one.

Yes I choose to have "boundaries with her" serious ones and one day hopefully cut of my contact with her for good she will never change and she screwed me over far to many times for her won selfish reasons.

 

Yes I choose him but this issue had suddenly come up and to be honest am at my wits end on how to deal with it I know he needs me and my support and that he "adores" his bro but am like EWWWWWW.

 

Am damned if I do damned if I don't

stay and keep my mouth shut about situation cause that's only thing that works or we fight.

Or leave and loose someone I adore cause even tough he knows better then to protect his bro he will keep doing it until the end and that's why I feel like am cursed or something.