Just feeling down

[AlisaMarie]

I have been in no contact with my not so serious boyfriend of 9 months for a few days. After 9 months of uncertainty, I decided to end it because I am in search for a real relationship- and he knew that.

 

Today is his 30th birthday. For my birthday in January, he took me out to a few very special places and was super sweet. I feel like an a-hole for not even wishing him a happy birthday. The urge is high... so I am here to deter my clumsy texting fingers.

 

I am scared. I am so used to heartache that I don't even realize if I am experiencing it anymore. I never go into a relationship expecting the worse, but the same thing happens over and over. It is almost like I read the script before it ends.

[Anastar]

If you don't text him a b-day greeting he'll know you're serious about the breaking, but if you text him he wont be sure. Also it's only been a few days so you're in the throws of the worst feelings...can't get much worse...

Now if you were NC for for two weeks then it might hurt all over again if you don't receive the reply you're expecting.

[AlisaMarie]

Thanks for the repsonse. I know he will respond. He is a very sweet man that has a super sensitive heart. When we first started dating we did want the same thing- but he realized later that he wasn't into having a serious relationship. I felt that after nine months I just couldn't be a FWB. I developed a deeper love for him. I know he cares... but he kept saying "I'm not sure what I want, but I know I don't want to lose you." I had to have all or nothing. I was beyond friendship with him. You're right, he has to know I am serious. If I hear from him, I will not ignore him- but I also am not going to be on the relationship backburner.

[youngnlove89]

I have been in no contact with my not so serious boyfriend of 9 months for a few days. After 9 months of uncertainty, I decided to end it because I am in search for a real relationship- and he knew that.

 

Today is his 30th birthday. For my birthday in January, he took me out to a few very special places and was super sweet. I feel like an a-hole for not even wishing him a happy birthday. The urge is high... so I am here to deter my clumsy texting fingers.

 

I am scared. I am so used to heartache that I don't even realize if I am experiencing it anymore. I never go into a relationship expecting the worse, but the same thing happens over and over. It is almost like I read the script before it ends.

 

 

I'm glad you didn't text him Happy Birthday. Don't, remain strong.

 

You say you left him because you wanted a real relationship? Did he not? Was he another Mr. Unavailable?

 

Trust me, I know how it feels to give your heart to someone only for them to not feel the same way.

 

To quote from the moving The Holiday:

"I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space! Yes, you are looking at one such individual. And I have willingly loved that man for over three miserable years! The absolute worst years of my life! The worst Christmas', the worst Birthday's, New Years Eve's brought in by tears and valium. These years that I have been in love have been the darkest days of my life. All because I've been cursed by being in love with a man who does not and will not love me back. Oh god, just the sight of him! Heart pounding! Throat thickening! Absolutely can't swallow! All the usual symptoms. "

 

I love watching movies when I'm down. That's what I'm about to do, I rented The Bachelorette and I'm about to get a soda, some ice-cream and just indulge myself into another story line so I can momentarily forget about mine.

 

I know it's hard for you. We are all here in the same boat. Keep writing, make a journal and write in it whenever you feel the need. That way one day when you are finally over him, you can look back and realize how far you came.

[AlisaMarie]

I'm glad you didn't text him Happy Birthday. Don't, remain strong.

 

You say you left him because you wanted a real relationship? Did he not? Was he another Mr. Unavailable?

 

Trust me, I know how it feels to give your heart to someone only for them to not feel the same way.

 

To quote from the moving The Holiday:

"I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space! Yes, you are looking at one such individual. And I have willingly loved that man for over three miserable years! The absolute worst years of my life! The worst Christmas', the worst Birthday's, New Years Eve's brought in by tears and valium. These years that I have been in love have been the darkest days of my life. All because I've been cursed by being in love with a man who does not and will not love me back. Oh god, just the sight of him! Heart pounding! Throat thickening! Absolutely can't swallow! All the usual symptoms. "

 

I love watching movies when I'm down. That's what I'm about to do, I rented The Bachelorette and I'm about to get a soda, some ice-cream and just indulge myself into another story line so I can momentarily forget about mine.

 

I know it's hard for you. We are all here in the same boat. Keep writing, make a journal and write in it whenever you feel the need. That way one day when you are finally over him, you can look back and realize how far you came.

 

Thank you for the heartfelt thoughtful reply. I also am an expert at one sided love. I have been in quite a few relationships where the men just decide to give up... some were weeks, some were years! Being the hopless romantic that I am, I never give up on someone... especially if I have love for them.

 

My mom and dad are in their late 50s and have been together since their early teens. I think I am so strong yet so weak because they made it through hell and back- and I want that.

 

I didn't want to give up on this last one, but my heart is tired... and worn thin. I do feel as if I am cursed at times.