CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 Hey everyone. So it's been a while since I was last here. I was going through a break up and thought it was over for good after 2 years. I went no contact and one day she actually started talking to me again and realized she had made a mistake (about 2-3 months after the break up, feel free to go read my old post if you'd like to catch up). But yeah, we pretty much got back together in the end of may and everything seemed back to normal. It's really weird with her, one week she seems really dedicated to me and the next she seems to want space and be a little more distnant. She blames it on work. This morning I confronted her about it and she flipped and said maybe we shouldn't be together then if we're always going to argue. The thing is, we rarely argue. She kinda flipped the whole thing around and made it seem like im tripping out. But it really seems like she wants out again. This cycle seems to keep going on every 3 months or so. I get really depressed and have trouble carrying on with my day when I feel this way, but she seems just fine. It's really becoming unhealthy for me but I just jump back into it everytime she decides to come back. In starting to question if it's love or if im just jumping back into it cause it's a quick cure to my heartbreak. So I guess what I'm wondering is does she have something wrong with her that makes her flip on and off the love switch whenever she wants? I'm really confused and hurt all over again.
The Tallest One Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 Been in exact same boat my friend. Ex gf repeated the same cycle for ten months before it finally came to an end. Women like this are too much work and too much heartache. I suggest you run for the hills and spare yourself any more pain. 1
AlisaMarie Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 I was in a relationship like that for 3 years. There is not a happy ending to your story. You already figured it out, you are quick fixing your heartache. You have to let it go... and the next time she comes back say no. It will hurt like hell but it seems so toxic. You deserve someone that won't make excuses, that won't leave you, and will stick around through all the good and hard times. Try talking to her first, but if she's on the defence- that's not a good sign. 2
Author CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC Posted August 22, 2012 Author Posted August 22, 2012 It really sucks. Im hoping for the best, but it's happened in the past so I see it happnening again. I wish I knew what I could do that would prevent this from happening. I guess if all falls through I have to let myself heal again, back to square one. The knot in my stomach is terrible.
AlisaMarie Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 I am telling you, it is a vicious cycle. The 8th time my ex and I got back together I swore that it would be different and we wouldnt' move in together and I wouldn't be "at his service" to run errands and babysit for him like I did before. Everything just fell back into the same back cycle even after having drastic changes and conversations. you need to just get out.
soulforge2010 Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 It really sucks. Im hoping for the best, but it's happened in the past so I see it happnening again. I wish I knew what I could do that would prevent this from happening. I guess if all falls through I have to let myself heal again, back to square one. The knot in my stomach is terrible. i know what you must be going through... going through a similar situation myself... she dumped me 4 weeks into the relationship over something silly. then dumped me 7 months into the relationship, again over something that could have easily been fixed, i took her back 2 months ago (after 8 months of her gone) as she claimed she made a big mistake & would never give up on the relationship again.... guess what? she broke it of 2 weeks ago, then changed her mind the next day & wanted me back, then walked out on me, when we decided to meet and talk things through... i have been in no contact 2 weeks now, told her clearly do not want to see her again... i miss her loads some days, but really guys? can you really depend on a woman like that to stand by you through life? when will the next come, when she flakes out on you again how many times, are we going to allow ourselves to be kicked to the curb like this, it's a horrible situation to be in, but i personally feel trapped in this prison, and want to escape... and the only way out for me, is running far far away from her!! i hope you guys find some peace
soulforge2010 Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 only difference this time is.... i told her to HIT THE ROAD!! sometimes i feel great about that, then sometimes i panic & think, what the hell have i done... why did i tell her to get out of my life. but sometimes you have to stand up for yourself & let these people know, enough is enough!
ffw Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 You have implement your boundaries to protect yourself from getting hurt & stop acting like a doormat. No one can treat you like a doormat unless you let them. 1
oracle Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 Things don't change, people don't change. Typically what starts in blood ends in blood. If it didn;t work then it won't work now or 5 years from now. See my thread at the top of this section 1
steveblack Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 Oracle is right. I would be slightly more optimistic, if two people come back together and work (and I mean work) on these problems there might be a chance (slim). More likely or not it will end similarly to what happened to you. Sorry you are going through this!
soulforge2010 Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 This isn't complicated. Boy meets girl, boy and girl like each other, boy and girl fall in love, boy and girl ride off into the sunset together. If that isn't the way your story is unfolding, remove yourself from the situation. for me personally, once the trust is gone, then what is left? how can you be with someone, give yourself fully to that person, if at any moment they can leave you in the dust, more than once!
Pod81 Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 Another classic example of wanting what you don't have and not wanting what you do have. Surely you deserve more emotionally stable than this wreck...
Vikki_26 Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 This is what my ex kept doing to me too. He broke up with me 6 times over two years, each time I kept taking him back. This time is the last. I am totally messed up now because of this, on antidepressants and seeking counselling - the waiting list is 10 weeks! Lost all confidence. Don't let this happen to you!!
I'm nuts Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 Never ever go back, for nada, close the door because a new one will open. Short term pain for long term gain.
soulforge2010 Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 This is what my ex kept doing to me too. He broke up with me 6 times over two years, each time I kept taking him back. This time is the last. I am totally messed up now because of this, on antidepressants and seeking counselling - the waiting list is 10 weeks! Lost all confidence. Don't let this happen to you!! i made the mistake of taking her back once, after she dumped me for 8 months, this time round, there is no way i will let her back in. in your case, did he always come back to you? even tho he finished it
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