Author atarisboy86 Posted September 8, 2012 Author Posted September 8, 2012 Freshstart I don't know I think there are quite a few people that have made good friends on here. Atariboy. good for you! I will bet you get another message at some time soon asking where you were going and what you were up to. Thats when you give her the "i'm sorry I am busy right now, talk to ya tomorrow" Then ya look out the window and watch her drive by your house 15 times. LOL Keep it up tho man! I think in your case you could easily manipulate her. What ya gotta do is make her end up hating that other guy. Tell her that the only reason that the two of you will never be together again is because of him. Make sure you use the word never! Well....I broke NC and now need to know where to go from here. Any advice would be welcome. She got my number from her friend. Damn! Well either way, she has it now. She texted me a few times telling me to call her and text her. She then sends one saying she is so sorry and that she want's to work this out. I saw she left a note with the same saying. I called her and we talked...I asked her "what's in this for me?" and "why should I get back together with you?" She tells me she will stop talking to her "friend", that she will go to therapy and counseling, alone and with me to work on things. I told her that I don't know, I'll have to see about it. I'm in the driver's seat now. The questions I ask myself are: Do I want to be with her again? The answer is yes and no. I want to be with my ex that is nice to me and doesn't go around behind my back to text her "friends". Is this something that can be fixed? I don't know. I also know I don't want to be with someone that kicks me to the curb as soon as the going gets tough. I just don't know what to say. "F*** off!" ??? Any advice would help. Thank you everyone at LS.
Calico Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 My first thought was, "I'm so not gonna touch that!". But, okay, well, here's what I think: There's a good chance that giving this another try may not turn out to be the best idea, but I feel that if you don't give it a whirl, you'll forever regret that you did not. People sometimes (often) realize what they had only when they (almost) lost it, and that can really lead to a stronger, better relationship. It may also blow up in your face, but sometimes you have to take the chances that life offers you. What's life without risks after all?
Author atarisboy86 Posted September 9, 2012 Author Posted September 9, 2012 My first thought was, "I'm so not gonna touch that!". But, okay, well, here's what I think: There's a good chance that giving this another try may not turn out to be the best idea, but I feel that if you don't give it a whirl, you'll forever regret that you did not. People sometimes (often) realize what they had only when they (almost) lost it, and that can really lead to a stronger, better relationship. It may also blow up in your face, but sometimes you have to take the chances that life offers you. What's life without risks after all? Thanks for your response Calico. I appreciate it. This last "reconciliation attempt" lasted all of...less than a day. Giving it another try is NOT the best idea. I went up to her house and we had dinner. We ended up snuggling for a bit. Things started to get more intense and after remember she is on her period...she backed off. Nothing else. "I'm tired and wanna go to sleep, I was out late and I have cramps. You're being insensitive". I started to talk to her and asked her a few things. She kept calling me immature, that I'm drama, etc, etc...putting all the blame on me. I kept talking and she kept quiet until I said something that made her mad and she told me to get the f*** out of her house before she punched me in the face. NO MORE!!!!!!!!! Have I missed her the past month? Of course I have, but at the same time...I have NOT missed arguing with her. Sometimes you can care for someone and want to make it work, but then you realize that they aren't the person you're meant to be with. Do I hate her? No I don't hate her, but I strongly dislike her right now...I don't care if I ever see her again. I need to be indifferent. Back to Day 1 tomorrow. My own sanity is at stake. This "addiction" needs to be broken...I get my "fix" and then I feel like crap all over again....I want to be happy again, even if it's not for a few years...I just want to be happy because right now I'm not happy, not even close.
Author atarisboy86 Posted September 9, 2012 Author Posted September 9, 2012 (edited) Well I wanted to post on a new "discovery". This will make me even more motivated to keep the NC from now on. When I was with her yesterday, she wrote a text to her friend and I saw it. The text said, "I don't want to go out and then be coming down at the baby shower tomorrow". The baby shower is for her friend's sister. I asked "coming down? are you using drugs?" She tells me, "I meant coming down from the alcohol, like hungover". I let it be. I ended up leaving and came home and slept last night. This morning I start putting two and two together. When I was dating this girl, she was tired and asleep by 10/11 p.m. and now she is routinely awake until 4/5/6 a.m.? Way too weird. I never thought about it until this morning. How does she stay up until those hours of the morning? I asked a friend that is part of the same party scene as my ex the question, "would you ever use 'coming down' to refer to a hangover?", she says straight up, "If you're talking about your ex, she is using coke, they started problems because of that at the pub". BINGO! That explains all of this, not to mention she had a runny nose and it sounded like sinus issues when I saw her last night. Wow...if I wanted to give it another shot, this just COMPLETELY killed it. My brother used drugs for a while and I saw what it did to him and his relationship with his child's mother and with our entire family. I will NOT even associate with someone that uses drugs. I can't believe what my ex is doing. I'm not going to even reach out and help her because that's not my job anymore. I sent her a text this morning telling her I found out what she does and how she stays up so late. I'm mad, disappointed, sad...but I feel lucky about this as well. Another thing that makes me not want to be with her. Edited September 9, 2012 by atarisboy86
Author atarisboy86 Posted September 10, 2012 Author Posted September 10, 2012 I just feel like venting. I need start working out in earnest. I'm looking forward to the future. I will NOT be in a relationship with: someone that only cares about themselves someone that is bipolar someone that only has sex once a week, and even then it's a chore someone that acts like someone half their age someone that has an alcohol or drug problem someone that keeps in touch with ex bfs someone that will give up at the first sign of trouble someone that doesn't have communication skills someone that calls me an idiot, a dumbass or even worse NO MORE!
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