Author robkris8079 Posted August 24, 2012 Author Posted August 24, 2012 alright so the ex been contacting me saying all this stuff. She gets super nice and sweet and then angry then accepting then angry and just bounces around. All trying to get me to come back to her. I am with my current gf who is basically on the verge of leaving me because of all this BS. So yesterday I just told my ex to "**** off". Hopefully she will just leave me alone now. 1
Crila16 Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 I really like your current girlfriend. She sounds really smart and normal. The fact that she's sick of the BS and is sticking up for herself, ready to walk away. Secure girl and hates the drama. The ex...not so much. She's kicking and screaming because she's not getting her way. I just hope the cloud of feelings you have for your ex, completely disappears forever.
Author robkris8079 Posted August 24, 2012 Author Posted August 24, 2012 I really like my current girlfriend too!! She def has a good head on her shoulders and is very mature. I am feeling horrible for putting her through this. My ex is acting childish as she always has. When I sensed the end I let her go. Well now the tables are turned and she can not do the same for me. Though it's different because we aren't in a relationship anymore this basically is the end of my ex and I. No more open doors, no more hidden agenda's, no more playing games. She needs to do for me what I have always done for her. Which is to give respect me and care enough to say goodbye. When I said I let her go though I left a door open i didn't get involved in her life, contact her in anyway, or anything. All was done by her. BTW my current gf is so good that she wanted to talk to the ex. Not to fight, yell, or anything but just to explain to her what is going on in her head and help her through this. She really thinks she can assist my ex because she herself has gone through this before.
Crila16 Posted August 24, 2012 Posted August 24, 2012 Your current girlfriend is so sweet. I know she'll want to talk to your ex and explain, because she's obviously 100 times more mature than the ex...but tell her not to. It's only going to anger the ex. Your ex finds the current girlfriend a threat and the enemy. There is absolutely nothing your current can say or do to change that. Let the ex work it out and hurt on her own...just like you had to work it out and hurt after she left you. It's all part of the growing experience and it shapes character. She'll be just fine. She kinda made her bed, now she's going to have to lie in it.
Author robkris8079 Posted August 27, 2012 Author Posted August 27, 2012 (edited) Yeah I said talking to her wasn't a good idea. I know the ex needs to work things out all on her own. I've done it several times in my life and she is really yet to do it once. She definitely made her bed. I'm amazed I had the strength to turn her down. This woman use to have such a hold on me. I think I'm growing too. Time for something new, time for something healthy and time to break the cycle. Edited August 27, 2012 by robkris8079
TheDovic Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 It's really tough to know what's going on here because we can't read your ex's mind. It is likely she is jealous that you appear to be happy, although that is just one possibility. Realistically though dating someone for 3 months so soon after the break up of a 5 year relationship does not sound healthy to me. I know these relationships can work sometimes but you don't seem happy with this new girl who appears to be a rebound. I suppose my point is this: You will not know if your ex is serious unless you give her that chance. Although I personally would not give her the chance. I'm not saying this because I think she should suffer, I'm saying it because from my own experience the more contact I had with my ex the more I opened old wounds and put myself through hell. I'm sure at this point you know what this hell feels like so spare yourself the pain dude. With regard to your new girl, if you enjoy spending time with her, then spend time with her. Just continue to be honest with her and understand in your own mind that she's probably a rebound and this relationship may not go anywhere.
Author robkris8079 Posted August 27, 2012 Author Posted August 27, 2012 It's really tough to know what's going on here because we can't read your ex's mind. It is likely she is jealous that you appear to be happy, although that is just one possibility. Realistically though dating someone for 3 months so soon after the break up of a 5 year relationship does not sound healthy to me. I know these relationships can work sometimes but you don't seem happy with this new girl who appears to be a rebound. I suppose my point is this: You will not know if your ex is serious unless you give her that chance. Although I personally would not give her the chance. I'm not saying this because I think she should suffer, I'm saying it because from my own experience the more contact I had with my ex the more I opened old wounds and put myself through hell. I'm sure at this point you know what this hell feels like so spare yourself the pain dude. With regard to your new girl, if you enjoy spending time with her, then spend time with her. Just continue to be honest with her and understand in your own mind that she's probably a rebound and this relationship may not go anywhere. I have no clue what is going through the ex's head. Why she is wanting it all with me now but I am getting it's me being happy, her being miserable in her relationship, and fact she is finally going to be living on her own. I totally know that dating so soon especially after being so in love with someone else was not the smartest move. Not sure why you think I'm not all that happy with the current gf? Well besides the obvious like talking to an ex . I am definitely happy. I am treated like I've never been before. I have conversations like I have never had before. I am actually scared a bit because basically she is everything I wanted my ex to be. I am not just a total ******* either. I do things for her, I communicate with her, we have great times together and besides this lapse in judgement here I am good to her. I can be better and from this point on I will be too. I will not give my ex another chance. This would be her third chance. The more I was in contact with her the more I realized she didn't change and I couldn't do this again. I just kept talking about how what she had done was wrong and that I didn't want to do it again. While she was telling me she wanted to try her hardest and make us work and get married and babies and all that stuff. I really couldn't see it happening at all. But I could see her leaving for another man or just being miserable like she had in the past. I do not want my ex to suffer at all. I want her to grow and mature and be happy. I want the same for me but it is quite clear we can't do this with each other or we would have done it already. I can't go through this hell anymore. I do know what it feels like and it is not good. I couldn't even blame her for my pain if I am the one running back. It would be 100% my fault. I do enjoy spending time with my current gf. I am always honest with her. Sure she might be a rebound but if I go in with that mindset it will definitely be one and it will automatically be doomed.
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