BWM Posted August 21, 2012 Posted August 21, 2012 Hello (:, I was with an ex for 6 months and we've now been split up for 4 months or so. within those 4 months I have made many mistakes by begging, pleading all the stuff that is way to clingy e.g texts and phone calls too , fast forward to today, me and my ex are having limited contact (some good convos some bad) and she has agreed to meet me for a drink in town in around a couple of weeks. I really want to show my ex that I have changed as a person and to show that I'm not desperate anymore and i can do fine without her (as im starting to cope better) so how do I play it when we meet up? also im not going to lie ill always care about her and have a soft spot for her in my heart as she was my first love but it wouldn't really bother me anymore if she got a new BF, so please guys comment your thoughts below all opinions will be appreciated thanks
Ani9000 Posted August 21, 2012 Posted August 21, 2012 If you are really moving on and accepted that you aren't getting back together, why would you want to meet up with her? Don't you think this will set your progress back? I just don't want you holding on to hope that this meeting will magically fix everything. And you really shouldn't "play" that you are coping better.Maybe you should wait a little and see if you really can cope better before you should decide to meet or not. Personally, I miss my ex all the time but I know seeing him would wreck me and ruin all the progress and effort I have put into bettering myself and trying to let him go. I say trying because it does take a long time to let go I think.
Regrets58 Posted August 21, 2012 Posted August 21, 2012 If you can do fine without her,do exactly that. Meeting up will confuse you and negate any progress you have made. Can't stress this enough,meeting exes too soon after BU is a recipe for disaster.It may be good to see her.You may feel it was like when you were together.It did for me,we got on so well it felt like we were still a couple.Same easy relaxed attitude,laughing together,even hugging and kissing on lips.So very sad though when on my own again. Went on for weeks with no progress. It was torture I can tell you,if I had my time again would be NC from day one. Sorry but you did ask!
MyHeartTakesOver Posted August 21, 2012 Posted August 21, 2012 My advice; don't "play it" any way. Be absolutely honest, "this is who I am, these are my feelings". If you can't do that without breaking down then you are not in a place where you're ready to meet her. You need to be in a place where you can love, let her know that she's loved but not let that love overcome your sense of self. Good luck and check in with us; let us know what happens.
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