So its my birthday....

[Ani9000]

So its my birthday today and alot of my ex's friends and family are contacting me. I am trying to be happy (its my 21st for heaven's sake I should be stoked!) But i'm stuck alone at work, trying not to think that my just a month ago we planned my entire birthday out together and now I am going out a single lady.

 

I don't really know why I post...I guess just look for encouragement and similar situations. Are all holidays going to be this hard? I hope not.

[Mint Sauce]

Hi Ani,

 

my gf of 6 years left me for a friend of ours the day before my birthday last month. I think I can imagine what you're feeling

 

My solution was to not celebrate at all. This birthday is officially lost, but I look forward to the next one. That should be a milestone. By then the better part of the hurt will be gone, it will be summer again, and there will be new people in our lives that make us happy, that are emotionally healthier perhaps, and maybe there's even someone special in there.

 

Hang in there!

[MyHeartTakesOver]

Happy B'day!

 

Take encouragement from this; my ex-partner of three years basically left me for someone else in May. That someone was out the country when it was my birthday earlier this month so my ex-partner suggested we spend my birthday together. It was awful. We tried to be friends but ended up breaking down and crying for about three hours. You don't need that on your birthday of all days.

 

What you need to do is take the day to celebrate all the things that are you. Watch your favourite film, eat your favourite food, listen to your favourite music. Be yourself as fully as you can for the whole day.

[soccerrprp]

So its my birthday today and alot of my ex's friends and family are contacting me. I am trying to be happy (its my 21st for heaven's sake I should be stoked!) But i'm stuck alone at work, trying not to think that my just a month ago we planned my entire birthday out together and now I am going out a single lady.

 

I don't really know why I post...I guess just look for encouragement and similar situations. Are all holidays going to be this hard? I hope not.

 

Happy birthday! Enjoy the day for yourself! It will get better!

 

I have an ex that has recently gotten back in touch with me after lengthy NC and I will wish her a happy b-day because I do care and am not bitter. I hope she takes the opp. to enjoy the day like you should!

[Ani9000]

Hi Ani,

 

my gf of 6 years left me for a friend of ours the day before my birthday last month. I think I can imagine what you're feeling

 

My solution was to not celebrate at all. This birthday is officially lost, but I look forward to the next one. That should be a milestone. By then the better part of the hurt will be gone, it will be summer again, and there will be new people in our lives that make us happy, that are emotionally healthier perhaps, and maybe there's even someone special in there.

 

Hang in there!

 

I am really sorry this happened to you :/ but I think you are right about not celebrating but my friends would never let me stay in on my 21st so I will just be a trooper and pretend like I'm happy and just know that the next one will definitely be better.

[Ani9000]

Happy B'day!

 

Take encouragement from this; my ex-partner of three years basically left me for someone else in May. That someone was out the country when it was my birthday earlier this month so my ex-partner suggested we spend my birthday together. It was awful. We tried to be friends but ended up breaking down and crying for about three hours. You don't need that on your birthday of all days.

 

What you need to do is take the day to celebrate all the things that are you. Watch your favourite film, eat your favourite food, listen to your favourite music. Be yourself as fully as you can for the whole day.

 

I am sorry you went through this. Did it help you move on at all?

 

Happy birthday! Enjoy the day for yourself! It will get better!

 

I have an ex that has recently gotten back in touch with me after lengthy NC and I will wish her a happy b-day because I do care and am not bitter. I hope she takes the opp. to enjoy the day like you should!

 

How long was your no contact?

[Drseussgrrl]

Happy birthday!

 

Go out and get your party on sister. Make out with a cute stranger. DO NOT SIT AT HOME AND MOPE.

 

You have good friends from the sound of it. Feel lucky about that.

[soccerrprp]

 

How long was your no contact?

 

I suppose the length of time is relative to people, but 2-months. I don't hope to get back together considering I am in another relationship, but nothing is set in stone. Dating is tough and leaving your options open is a must now days. Even my current relationship has its issues- what relationship doesn't, right?

[Ani9000]

I suppose the length of time is relative to people, but 2-months. I don't hope to get back together considering I am in another relationship, but nothing is set in stone. Dating is tough and leaving your options open is a must now days. Even my current relationship has its issues- what relationship doesn't, right?

 

Wow you were able to talk to your ex after only two months?!?

 

That is kinda impressive to me lol I am in a little over one month no contact and I doubt I could talk to him in a friendly way now.

[Ani9000]

Happy birthday!

 

Go out and get your party on sister. Make out with a cute stranger. DO NOT SIT AT HOME AND MOPE.

 

You have good friends from the sound of it. Feel lucky about that.

 

 

I have the best friends and I don't know if making out with a stranger is the best idea but I will see what happens lol

[ThatJustHappened]

Happy birthday!

 

Here's a story for you..I had a guy break up with me ON my birthday, while we were on vacation and still had 2 days and a 6 hour drive home ahead of us..we were at a bar and he started getting angry at me for something and I left because I was upset..he chased me down the street and screamed at me that I was a b!tch and he didn't want to be with me anymore. Then he brought another woman to a work party (we worked together obviously) 3 days later and told me to be nice to her. We'd been together on/off for 5 years.

 

So yeah..at least you're not me..hahaha. This was 3 years ago now and I've had another serious boyfriend, several lovely birthdays, and many great holidays since..so yes, you do eventually start enjoying birthdays and holidays again. Things do get better.

[soccerrprp]

Wow you were able to talk to your ex after only two months?!?

 

That is kinda impressive to me lol I am in a little over one month no contact and I doubt I could talk to him in a friendly way now.

 

Not too difficult. We ended it in GOOD terms, so always easier that way. The question is what is it that she wants from me?

[Ani9000]

Happy birthday!

 

Here's a story for you..I had a guy break up with me ON my birthday, while we were on vacation and still had 2 days and a 6 hour drive home ahead of us..we were at a bar and he started getting angry at me for something and I left because I was upset..he chased me down the street and screamed at me that I was a b!tch and he didn't want to be with me anymore. Then he brought another woman to a work party (we worked together obviously) 3 days later and told me to be nice to her. We'd been together on/off for 5 years.

 

So yeah..at least you're not me..hahaha. This was 3 years ago now and I've had another serious boyfriend, several lovely birthdays, and many great holidays since..so yes, you do eventually start enjoying birthdays and holidays again. Things do get better.

 

Wow what a jerk! I am really sorry that happened to you :/ But thank you for sharing this with me, I am glad things get better and you really give me hope

[Ani9000]

Not too difficult. We ended it in GOOD terms, so always easier that way. The question is what is it that she wants from me?

 

Do you think she wants to get back together?

[Crila16]

First off....Yay!!! Happy Birthday!!! 21 is a great birthday.

 

Second...this is a birthday you're always going to look back on. If you don't have fun and put this loser out of your mind...you'll forever for the rest of your life associate this creep with your milestone, 21st birthday. You'll regret that when you meet the love of your life and this loser becomes insignificant to you.

 

My friends and I always look back and talk about our 21st, finally legal birthday and where we were. I remember being so drunk at college with a group of my friends. I picked up a hot guy, brought him home to my dorm, yet wouldn't let him up because I was so drunk. He got mad because he wanted sex. He ended up peeing in the bushes of my dorm and got caught and arrested by our campus security. LOL!!!

 

So please...have fun. You control your mind and thoughts. There will be lots of other cute boys to flirt with. Have a blast.

[Ani9000]

First off....Yay!!! Happy Birthday!!! 21 is a great birthday.

 

Second...this is a birthday you're always going to look back on. If you don't have fun and put this loser out of your mind...you'll forever for the rest of your life associate this creep with your milestone, 21st birthday. You'll regret that when you meet the love of your life and this loser becomes insignificant to you.

 

My friends and I always look back and talk about our 21st, finally legal birthday and where we were. I remember being so drunk at college with a group of my friends. I picked up a hot guy, brought him home to my dorm, yet wouldn't let him up because I was so drunk. He got mad because he wanted sex. He ended up peeing in the bushes of my dorm and got caught and arrested by our campus security. LOL!!!

 

So please...have fun. You control your mind and thoughts. There will be lots of other cute boys to flirt with. Have a blast.

 

OMG! your story is so funny... I can't even imagine how amazing your night was lol. But I know my friends are taking me out and I am going to try and have fun, I just have to remind myself that tonight will be about me and not about what we were.

[MyHeartTakesOver]

I am sorry you went through this. Did it help you move on at all?

 

That I can't answer because I don't know. I've moved on but I still get very emotional when I think of the good times we had.

 

I think the contact we had probably has helped me make peace with the situation a lot quicker because I've been able to talk to him about things and what happened. It hasn't made things any easier in terms of letting go of our love for each other though that's why I think NC is the best way forward for me now.

[soccerrprp]

Do you think she wants to get back together?

 

Hmmm. Don't want to speculate too much, but she wants to go out on an outting with me some time. Don't know if she is dating or what? Haven't asked. Knowing her, I suspect not and one reason for that is because she left the planning for me and it seemed that she was open to whatever date/time I selected as appropriate. Don't know for certain, of course. The ball is in my court, but trying to "get in touch" with my ever ambivalent feeling towards dating now days.

[Ani9000]

Hmmm. Don't want to speculate too much, but she wants to go out on an outting with me some time. Don't know if she is dating or what? Haven't asked. Knowing her, I suspect not and one reason for that is because she left the planning for me and it seemed that she was open to whatever date/time I selected as appropriate. Don't know for certain, of course. The ball is in my court, but trying to "get in touch" with my ever ambivalent feeling towards dating now days.

 

Yeah that's rough that she left it all open ended like that. I mean if she wanted to meet she should put some effort in.... I hope everything turns out well I haven't heard many reconciliation stories so maybe you will be the first....if that's what you want.

[Ani9000]

 

That I can't answer because I don't know. I've moved on but I still get very emotional when I think of the good times we had.

 

I think the contact we had probably has helped me make peace with the situation a lot quicker because I've been able to talk to him about things and what happened. It hasn't made things any easier in terms of letting go of our love for each other though that's why I think NC is the best way forward for me now.

 

I know for me NC is the way to go....he texted me once about coming to get his stuff and I was a wreck for the entire day. So NC helps me stay calm lol But maybe eventually being able talk to him could help me...hmmm I don't know for sure I will just have to wait and see how I feel.

[soccerrprp]

Yeah that's rough that she left it all open ended like that. I mean if she wanted to meet she should put some effort in.... I hope everything turns out well I haven't heard many reconciliation stories so maybe you will be the first....if that's what you want.

 

Oh, no, not open ended in terms of getting together for the outing. She wants to. It's up to me as to whether I want to do it or not and I do. It's the getting back together to date again-thing that is the question. I am not going to suggest we do until she does first. I'll know by her actions, words. And if "that" does happen, well, let's just say it adds another interesting wrinkle to my life.... It should be noted that I am not hoping for it, though. I have moved on, but that doesn't mean I won't try again if it is under my terms....

[Ani9000]

Oh, no, not open ended in terms of getting together for the outing. She wants to. It's up to me as to whether I want to do it or not and I do. It's the getting back together to date again-thing that is the question. I am not going to suggest we do until she does first. I'll know by her actions, words. And if "that" does happen, well, let's just say it adds another interesting wrinkle to my life.... It should be noted that I am not hoping for it, though. I have moved on, but that doesn't mean I won't try again if it is under my terms....

 

 

If you dont mind me asking...Who ended things?

[soccerrprp]

If you dont mind me asking...Who ended things?

 

She did. Believe me, as things go, it was one of the most surreal endings that really wasn't an ending. She said she didn't want to date me "right now". I know, I know, code for I'm not interested, right? Well, recent communications shows something else, but waiting for the words for confirmation. If it comes, okay, i'll deal with...if not, i'm good. I'm already dating someone else and in a very good place right now.

 

She is pressed with circumstances where she will likely need some support and help. I'm all for friends, if that is what she wants, but she needs to be mature enough to want that...her idea, btw.

 

Wait, i've hijacked this thread! Have a great birthday!

[ThatJustHappened]

Wow what a jerk! I am really sorry that happened to you :/ But thank you for sharing this with me, I am glad things get better and you really give me hope

 

My pleasure. Don't worry about it, I'm completely and 100% over this..I kind of think it's funny now. The worst part is that this guy is 15 years older than me. You'd think he would know better! HA!

 

Anyway..I know it's rough..but try to enjoy yourself. If you can't..you're allowed to have a do-over in a few months when you're feeling better. You can always plan a trip to Vegas later on!

[rach24680]

So its my birthday today and alot of my ex's friends and family are contacting me. I am trying to be happy (its my 21st for heaven's sake I should be stoked!) But i'm stuck alone at work, trying not to think that my just a month ago we planned my entire birthday out together and now I am going out a single lady.

 

I don't really know why I post...I guess just look for encouragement and similar situations. Are all holidays going to be this hard? I hope not.

 

hey, let me tell you you're not alone, my boyfriend split up with me 4 days ago and it's my birthday on thursday, like you, we planned my birthday and i'll be doing it alone. try to enjoy yourself and surround yourself with the people that love you, thats what i'm doing. you can do it, keep your chin up!