weallfalldown Posted August 21, 2012 Posted August 21, 2012 My thoughts on this are, if it were possible to reconcile your relationship after a period of time, and you knew your ex had been with someone, or more than one person whilst you were apart, would that not play havok, and play on your mind, leading to arguments etc?........for me it would, or am i just the jealous type?.....what are your opinions?....
not-a-drive-by Posted August 21, 2012 Posted August 21, 2012 It's hard to say. Depends how long ago they have been separated from the previous relationship. But, I mean, it's quite rare to find someone who hasn't been in a relationship before. Does that mean you won't pursue someone who has been in a relationship before? My ex had a previous relationship before meeting me. It ended probably 1 or 2 years before we met. At times I would think what their relationship was like and compare it to ours, but not much. Afterall, they came back knowing we are better. Unless it ended badly, say, they cheated on you while you were in the relationship with them.
Author weallfalldown Posted August 21, 2012 Author Posted August 21, 2012 i meant you'd already had a relationship with them, split up for say 3 months then tried again, knowing there had been people in between....
headsashed Posted August 21, 2012 Posted August 21, 2012 Last year my ex and i was split up for around 4 months,in that time she had slept with 2 people,this killed me. She came crawling back and i accepted because i still loved her but i knew it was going to be really hard because of her sleeping with 2 people. At 1st it was on my mind all the time but i knew i had to give it time,to try get past it and build the trust back up. We were back together for around 5 months and it wasnt until the end where i was starting to put it all behind me. The trust was coming back and the thoughts of her sleeping with those 2 people were severly fading. I think given another 6 months i would have been fine,but who knows. In the end she cheated on me by sleeping sleeping with someone on holiday. I couldnt/wouldnt take her back this time around even if she hasnt been with anyone and its been around 4 months since the BU. Shes hurt me too much this time and it would take an eternity to build that trust back up.
Sugarkane Posted August 21, 2012 Posted August 21, 2012 I don't know from experience but I'm not sure how you are supposed to handle the resentment that you have after something like that and not stuff it up and try and screw them over in return.
Author weallfalldown Posted August 21, 2012 Author Posted August 21, 2012 as i thought....it would be tough.....
lovehurts82 Posted August 21, 2012 Posted August 21, 2012 I have reconciled my relationship in the past and managed to forgive, not bringing it up later, but this time, I think my ex has burned too many bridges and people for me to ever consider it. Perhaps had he not thought it would be funny to get engaged to some trashy chick with 2 kids already a week after we broke up. But I'm just not sure I could ever trust him again. I think I would probably start to freak out whenever I got the inkling that something might be going on with him and someone else.. or when he'd carry his phone around with him obsessively. I don't think I can ever accept my ex back, in spite of the fact that I love and have loved the guy to pieces for 7+ years. :'(
Author weallfalldown Posted August 21, 2012 Author Posted August 21, 2012 yea..once the trust has gone, it's always there, eating away............. My opinion is.....i could never go back........but that's just me.
headsashed Posted August 21, 2012 Posted August 21, 2012 I think the only way a successful reconciliation could happen is if enough time has passed so there are zero feelings left on either side,as in years down the line,but then again would we want our ex's back once our feelings have gone? i doubt it.
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