Please... this is more than one person can take... please help

[overseas2004]

Hi all:

 

I am writing because I just had another attempt at a failed relationship. None to fear though this time I am not hurt or sad nor broken. I am not upset about losing the guy because I kind of suspected something was not right from the start. What ended up happening was that I met him on the internet and we first emailed for a while, then we spoke on the phone, and later met in person. I liked him and he was extremely intelligent and attractive. WE got along well and had fun etc... As time progressed I noticed that there were things he would say that just were not reasonable and did not make sense.

 

To make a long story short what ended up happening was that he had a girlfriend. She called my parents house yesterday because she had bought him a mobile phone and she saw this number on the mobile popping up. It was her birthday and he had promised to come and visit her (they were having a long distance relationship) and when he did not show up... well she started to get worried. And she made calls to places he had called on his telephone bill trying to find him. Apparently he owes her money (well you get the gist).

 

Of course, he is on his way to be with me. I moved to europe last week because I am an international humanitarian worker. I am working in the country that he is from. He is now visiting his parents because they live here but he was supposed to come and visit me intermittently and that is how I planned we would get to know each other better.

 

I broke it up with him last night at midnight.

 

I guess the problem I have is... the following:

 

I have had a string of really bad relationships with men. In the past I have been used or I have been with those incapable of returning emotions.

 

A couple of months ago I decided enough was enough and I decided to change my behavior. I was not going to let anymore bad ones in...

 

With this guy, I made him jump through all the hoops. I did not part with any of my emotions and I did not sleep with him because I felt I did not know him. We had fun and hung out but I was oh so careful....

 

And I did not have problems with him that this other woman did. He did not borrow any money for me or treat me badly. I however listened to my gut instinct and it saved me from getting hurt. That is really a wonderful thing. YET......Now I feel let down, I have learned my lesson yet these awful men are still coming into my life? Why is this happening to me still?

 

I am 37 and I have never been married. I am a really attractive woman if I may say so. I don't look my age. I had one relationship when I was 20 that lasted six years and for all it was worth it was a mistake in retrospect to break up. I had other goals though, I wanted a career. Since then I have found nothing but bad men.... Can somebody please tell me what the h*ll is wrong and will I ever have a family and children before my eggs dry up?

[RoboHobo]

Hello overseas2004,

 

I'm sorry that you are so down right now, but try to be positive as hard as that can be. You will find someone, how or where it will happen no-one can possibly know. I think the good thing is that you are a strong person and take care to protect yourself. I wish I had some answers for you but I don't. The only thing I can tell you is that not all guys are pig swill, although the good ones tend to be few and far between.

 

I think that you have two options though. The first is to live in remorse of the fact that you don't have a guy in your life. The second is to enjoy the life you do have, be happy with who you are and live life to the full. If a guy does appear in your life so much the better for it, if he doesn't (I doubt it) then at least you are living a happy fulfilled life.

 

What ever you choose I wish you good luck, you sound like a kind selfless person who deserves to be happy. Keep me posted.

 

Oh, I and I am sure all the people on this thread admire you in the career you have chosen. I hope all goes well.