Disenchantedly Yours Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 Just to clarify. Isn't the extreme of confidence, arrogance?. Few women want a man that's arrogant. There has to be a happy medium. For a sizable amount of women, self-assured with a moderate level of sensitivity (enough to show genuine empathy and compromise) will suffice. That's it exactly.
Author StillReigning Posted August 23, 2012 Author Posted August 23, 2012 I totally agree that women don't care about "EXTRMELEY confident". Personally, I even dislike it! Insecurities make us human. If a man has no insecurity whatsoever, I would think hes from a different species or something. We do like confidence and a man who is comfortable in his own skin but I think it's simplistic to say that men are just attracted to "looks" and women to "confidence". There are a lot of other factors involved. The last guy I liked was actually insecure in certain things and it didn't bother me, in fact it made him even more adorable/likable to me. The men I've known who were 1000% confident have usually been EXTREMELY popular with women. In fact, I would say the most confident guys I know do the best with the opposite gender...much more so than even about looks As long as you're not arrogant, there is no such thing as too much confidence. You're probably confusing confidence with arrogance
Author StillReigning Posted August 23, 2012 Author Posted August 23, 2012 No, I would not agree. I personally define arrogance simply as the need for others to know you're confident. That is, arrogance is externally motivated and projected, while confidence is entirely an internal construct that is reflected externally through one's behaviors and actions. Put another way, one can be confident without anyone else knowing it, while one is arrogant when he wants everyone else to know it. Bingo People love extremely confident people because it just gravitates you to them. The arrogance is when they think they're better than you or they want everybody to acknowledge how great they think they are Extremely confident people just act themselves and others love em for it
USMCHokie Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 As long as you're not arrogant, there is no such thing as too much confidence. You're probably confusing confidence with arrogance How do you distinguish the two?
Author StillReigning Posted August 23, 2012 Author Posted August 23, 2012 How do you distinguish the two? Exactly how you described it Watch a video of Arnold Schwarzenegger. He's about as confident as it gets but there's zero arrogance here. He doesn't think he's better than you, he doesn't want you to acknowledge his greatness, etc...
El Brujo Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 I don't understand why there's millions of dollars spent everyday on trying to figure out "what women want" when it's really very simple. Women want a guy who is very confident in himself but is also very caring and even somewhat sensitive Why do the azzholes offer that some women really are attracted to? It's that intense self confidence. What do "nice guys" offer that women like but still turn down? Nice guys are safe, sweet, caring, thoughtful, etc... The problem is most nice guys are terribly insecure Women want both things. You don't want to be at either extreme end but the perfect medium = perfect partner and that's the entire dating game in a nutshell I don't believe any of that. If it was true, women would be more blunt about what they wanted.
Author StillReigning Posted August 23, 2012 Author Posted August 23, 2012 I don't believe any of that. If it was true, women would be more blunt about what they wanted. There are pretty blunt about what they want - they want a guy who is both masculine and sensitive
Emilia Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 Exactly how you described it Watch a video of Arnold Schwarzenegger. He's about as confident as it gets but there's zero arrogance here. He doesn't think he's better than you, he doesn't want you to acknowledge his greatness, etc... A lot of confident people will know that they are better than you, they just don't think it's important to rub your face in it as it's not believed for external reasons. That's part of confidence, knowing that you can handle stuff that a lot of people can't.
somedude81 Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 It's super hard to be extremely confident when you haven't succeed with relationships and women. Chicken and egg. What comes first, confidence or success with women?
USMCHokie Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 Chicken and egg. What comes first, confidence or success with women? I'm beginning to think it varies with each person, though I still believe an overwhelming majority of people require some sort of initial success in whatever they do before they can start to have real confidence in it.
GirlontheLam Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 I say it again - it varies between each individual. For every woman I meet who is attracted to more internal characteristics - there is a woman who likes physically attractive men (or shallow women). I don't even think it's that shallow to want someone you're physically attracted to. People can get better looking, the more you know about them and feel connected with them. This happens to me all the time!
Lonely Ronin Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 People can get better looking, the more you know about them and feel connected with them. This happens to me all the time! They can't get better looking, they can become more attractive. attraction encompresses more than just physical appearance.
LC1976 Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 I think “types” play more of role than most people suspect. In my experience women tend to adhere to this more than guy. Take me for example, I love exotic women. Doesn’t matter if they are tall, short, and willowy or have a ton of curves. But I won’t say no to the cute strawberry blonde with pale skin. But women I feel have more ridged criteria then men; both physically and personality. I can’t tell you how many women I know want to only date one ethnicity, or certain height, or want a guy that cries every time that ASPCA commercial comes on…or whatever. They don’t seem to deviate that much. As for guys: the looks attract us, but the personality keeps us.
udolipixie Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 I'm not seeing how being confident means you can't be caring. Unless it's a gender thing where men can't be caring if they are confident in themselves as a guy. I agree slightly with most gals want a partner who is confident and caring however I think it's no different than most guys. As for nice guys offering gals sweetness and kindess in my opinion nice guys offer gals a misgoynistic, hateful, bitter, or resentful view on gals and passive aggressiveness twinged with 'I'd be a great guy for her if she wasn't such a stupid b*tch who loved jerks'.
paperboy48 Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 I don't care how insecure they are, the confident/nice man will almost always win over the "bad boy" If they are insecure...how are they confident? (scratches head) 1
Lonely Ronin Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 I'm not seeing how being confident means you can't be caring. Unless it's a gender thing where men can't be caring if they are confident in themselves as a guy. Some people don't understand that a person can be multifaceted. I get the sneaking suspicion that some people here don't think its possible to be caring, confident, and have an alpha personality. 1
paperboy48 Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 SOME women. And some men want the "perfect" stepford centerfold that doesn't exist. That's THEIR problem, not ours. THEY are the ones who are going through life thwarted by superficial and unrealistic desires. I think the OP here is a man; whether they are or not, I don't think they exactly have their finger on the pulse of "what women want." Confidence almost always helps one succeed in all aspects of life. Being withdrawn, awkward, insecure and / or shy makes many things more difficult. That doesn't mean everybody has to go out and enact this OP's definition of "perfect" to get dates. Why have so many seem to have lost track of this simple idea: We all can improve upon ourselves, but at the core of each one of us is who we really are. Are you seriously interested in pretending to be a different person than you really are so you can get dates or have sex? Don't you want to be close to people who see you and care for you because of who you really are? We all can't be Cassanova or some kind of femme fatale … It's okay. I love this...will you go out on a date with me?
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