StillReigning Posted August 21, 2012 Posted August 21, 2012 I don't understand why there's millions of dollars spent everyday on trying to figure out "what women want" when it's really very simple. Women want a guy who is very confident in himself but is also very caring and even somewhat sensitive Why do the azzholes offer that some women really are attracted to? It's that intense self confidence. What do "nice guys" offer that women like but still turn down? Nice guys are safe, sweet, caring, thoughtful, etc... The problem is most nice guys are terribly insecure Women want both things. You don't want to be at either extreme end but the perfect medium = perfect partner and that's the entire dating game in a nutshell
Necromancer Posted August 21, 2012 Posted August 21, 2012 Nice guys are often insecure because they are unattractive..... Jerks are often confident because women flock to them because of looks. Confidence is no magic bullet that will make you attractive to women but some will fall for it.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted August 21, 2012 Posted August 21, 2012 I don't understand why there's millions of dollars spent everyday on trying to figure out "what women want" when it's really very simple. Women want a guy who is very confident in himself but is also very caring and even somewhat sensitive Why do the azzholes offer that some women really are attracted to? It's that intense self confidence. What do "nice guys" offer that women like but still turn down? Nice guys are safe, sweet, caring, thoughtful, etc... The problem is most nice guys are terribly insecure Women want both things. You don't want to be at either extreme end but the perfect medium = perfect partner and that's the entire dating game in a nutshell I've always said something similiar in the past. Women don't want "nice guys" or "bad boys". Just like men can fall for the illusion of a pretty woman, mistakingly thinking she has certain qualities she simply may not have despite being beautiful, women can fall for the illusion of confidence and excitment that a "bad boy" may hold as well. Nice guys tend to be too safe, too sweet and overly supplicating. Women generally like someone with a bit of a back-bone and that is going to get her blood pumping. Someone that has his own ideas (as I am sure men like in women as well.) Someone that does nice things for her because that's what he wants to do, not just because he is trying to please her. Alot of "nice guys" over supplicate. In a text-book way, they may be doing all the right things but text-book algorithms are never going to win a woman's interest. There is a lot of things they need to learn about themselves under the surface that could change a woman's response for the better. 3
Emilia Posted August 21, 2012 Posted August 21, 2012 Why do the azzholes offer that some women really are attracted to? It's that intense self confidence. What do "nice guys" offer that women like but still turn down? Nice guys are safe, sweet, caring, thoughtful, etc... The problem is most nice guys are terribly insecure Those are not 'nice guys' but usually passive ones, many seem to mix up the two for some reason. Being quiet doesn't make someone 'nice'. Women want both things. You don't want to be at either extreme end but the perfect medium = perfect partner and that's the entire dating game in a nutshell Secure women do yes. The insecure ones will take drama. You are assuming most people have the intellectual capacity to value what is good for them. That isn't necessarily the case in my experience. 1
oldskl Posted August 21, 2012 Posted August 21, 2012 Perhaps 'nice guys' become partially insecure because some girls/women seem to go for the 'bad guys' with so much ease. How are those 'nice guys' meant to be ultra confident if the girls they like flutter away so freely towards the worst possible people if it happens so easily? It's like gambling. You don't go in all confident if the odds are already heavily against you. You hesitate. That hesitation is uncertainty. The same uncertainty guys have about girls and the chances they will always run for the bad guys. Blind and ballsy confidence is one thing. But being realistic of what is more likely to happen than not is another. Problems create themselves! Generally, what women want is available. But it works both ways. Nice guys can be more confident, but the women they chase could perhaps make it seem less of a risk for them. Nobody likes jumping in at the deep end of the unknown, so give them a bit of a more reassuring prospect for their gambles. I do personally feel women have the upper hand in the dating game, so my views are pulled ever so slightly that way.
monkey00 Posted August 21, 2012 Posted August 21, 2012 I think there are just as many woman out there with baggage, insecurities, superficialities, douchiness, doormats in comparison to guys who are the extremes. But when it comes to dating, there's just more pressure for men to be well balanced. Whereas a lot of woman can be whatever they want and get away with it because some guys can be too forgiving of a woman's shortcomings because she can get away with it by using her looks alone. 5
AD1980 Posted August 21, 2012 Posted August 21, 2012 Nice guys tend to be too safe, too sweet Maybe its me but to me its a sad commentary that a guy can be too "safe" or sweet" as if those are bad traits or that a guy has an agenda because hes too nice Is it because those traits arent seen as overly masculine? i always wondered why beign dominant a sa male is higher on the list then being nice to a lot of women as far as attractive traits
Author StillReigning Posted August 21, 2012 Author Posted August 21, 2012 Secure women do yes. The insecure ones will take drama. You are assuming most people have the intellectual capacity to value what is good for them. That isn't necessarily the case in my experience. I don't care how insecure they are, the confident/nice man will almost always win over the "bad boy" The guys I know in real life who are like that are EXTREMELY popular with the opposite gender
Author StillReigning Posted August 21, 2012 Author Posted August 21, 2012 Maybe its me but to me its a sad commentary that a guy can be too "safe" or sweet" as if those are bad traits or that a guy has an agenda because hes too nice Is it because those traits arent seen as overly masculine? i always wondered why beign dominant a sa male is higher on the list then being nice to a lot of women as far as attractive traits Because it's just not natural. I am a very nice guy but I also act like a normal person. The way "nice guys" act is just pathetic. There is a time and place for everything and you don't want to be giving compliments 24/7 and buying roses to every date
AD1980 Posted August 21, 2012 Posted August 21, 2012 Because it's just not natural. I am a very nice guy but I also act like a normal person. The way "nice guys" act is just pathetic. There is a time and place for everything and you don't want to be giving compliments 24/7 and buying roses to every date Perhaps we have different definitons of nice guy then..I agree 24/7 gifts and compliments are overbearing but just being an ice dude in general shouldnt be seen as a negative
Author StillReigning Posted August 21, 2012 Author Posted August 21, 2012 Perhaps we have different definitons of nice guy then..I agree 24/7 gifts and compliments are overbearing but just being an ice dude in general shouldnt be seen as a negative It's not a negative. It's just that a lot of "nice dudes" tend to be insecure and that's very unappealing 1
YellowShark Posted August 21, 2012 Posted August 21, 2012 Many young women today in America want a millionaire vampire/celebrity/athlete/musician who's incredibly good-looking, dangerous and romantic. That treats them like a princess. Sadly there is no such thing. But that's the ideal. It's not a negative. It's just that a lot of "nice dudes" tend to be insecure and that's very unappealing Very true. 1
Author StillReigning Posted August 21, 2012 Author Posted August 21, 2012 Many young women today in America want a millionaire vampire/celebrity/athlete/musician who's incredibly good-looking, dangerous and romantic. That treats them like a princess. Sadly there is no such thing. But that's the ideal. Look I can say the exact same thing about men - lots of guys nowadays seem to want a super hot chick who is the perfect housewife who is a virgin yet ****s like a champ In reality, most people are perfectly fine with dating somebody who is about nice, confident and takes care of themselves 3
Radu Posted August 21, 2012 Posted August 21, 2012 Many young women today in America want a millionaire vampire/celebrity/athlete/musician who's incredibly good-looking, dangerous and romantic. That treats them like a princess. Sadly there is no such thing. But that's the ideal. Very true. Sex and the City.
ThaWholigan Posted August 21, 2012 Posted August 21, 2012 I don't want to be the dissenter, as I basically agree. I would only argue that there's a little more to it than just "confident and nice". Certainly, confident AND nice is the benchmark for a lot of guys, but it's very simplistic. Everyone is unique and has their own attributes that make them who they are. If they can reconcile that within themselves, and complement their core attributes, then they won't just be confident and nice. Some guys are great talkers. Others exude a large amount of sex appeal by default. There are many ways to be attractive, that one can figure out for themselves and complements their character. But I agree, women would mostly like a man who is somewhat balanced between "jerk" and "nice guy". Like Monkey says, there is a pressure on men to always be well-balanced, and it's why I feel that men should find their OWN balance and work with it, no apologies. Then they will find it easier to project more attractive traits.
carhill Posted August 21, 2012 Posted August 21, 2012 'All Women Want is A Guy Who Is Extremely Confident But Caring' .....yes, in addition to being attractive sexually. I was recently reading the life and times of such a man who died a few years back and wondered about all the other confident and caring daredevils whom the world wouldn't and will never know. His name was Robert Craig Knievel. People knew him as Evel. Interesting how life works. Think of caring and confident as a requisite requirement. Those are easy personality characteristics to quantify and qualify. The nebulous part is the sexual attraction, which is a completely separate component of the overall 'feel' of what gets a woman wet for a certain man's attention, love and commitment. Who's more likely to get fellated in the oval office: A or B? Well, that answer is pretty easy, since there's some history on it, but both are caring and confident men, right? What's the difference? 1
Disenchantedly Yours Posted August 21, 2012 Posted August 21, 2012 Maybe its me but to me its a sad commentary that a guy can be too "safe" or sweet" as if those are bad traits or that a guy has an agenda because hes too nice Is it because those traits arent seen as overly masculine? i always wondered why beign dominant a sa male is higher on the list then being nice to a lot of women as far as attractive traits AD, too much of anything is simply too much. A person can even drink water too much and die from it. Even though water itself is a really fantastic thing to drink. Ultimately, it's about balance. Men that are too "sweet" or too "safe" are just as inbalanced as men that are abusive and mean. The reason men and women are attracted to each other (and you will even see this in lesbian and gay couples), is because they have differences that compliment one another. Even women can be too sweet sometimes. They can also be overly supplicating to a man. And a man will be turned off by that. And I don't really blame them for that. I think also that people are looking for way more then simply "nice". My doctor is "nice", the mail-lady is "nice", the people that move around me when I am biking on the road are 'nice". I am sure you have encountered many "nice" people you didn't want to sleep with. Being "nice" isn't enough although being "nice" is a great quality to have. It's not the only quality you need. And I don't htink you would only want someone "nice". There are other qualities that you probably like that make them interesting.
YellowShark Posted August 21, 2012 Posted August 21, 2012 Look I can say the exact same thing about men - lots of guys nowadays seem to want a super hot chick who is the perfect housewife who is a virgin yet ****s like a champ Agree. Popular media has created an ideal mate that hardly anyone can live up to. In reality, most people are perfectly fine with dating somebody who is about nice, confident and takes care of themselves Anyone would be happy with dating somebody "who is nice, confident and takes care of themselves." But women like bad boys. The reason is Bad Boys are generally very confident, and nice guys generally come off as weak.
Negative Nancy Posted August 21, 2012 Posted August 21, 2012 Whereas a lot of woman can be whatever they want and get away with it because some guys can be too forgiving of a woman's shortcomings because she can get away with it by using her looks alone. Yeah, make it sound like men are completely helpless to a woman "using her looks" and "somehow getting away with it". The truth is that it's men's own fault if they are so shallow and hung up on looks that they let women get away with it.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted August 21, 2012 Posted August 21, 2012 Sex and the City. Yeah..ever since that damn Sex and the City thing, women just have gone wild. I mean, what's with women? If they aren't fantasizing about giving a guy head or getting it doggy style with big implants while wearing a school girl outfit, they are just selfish and shallow. 1
PJKino Posted August 21, 2012 Posted August 21, 2012 Why are only mens personality traits so overanalyzed? Like a man must be alpha or hes not a real man and all these stupid alpha beta terms mostly used for men Then you have Men must always be "confident" and can never show weakness or insecurity like were robots PLus we should be 25% this 37% this trat 19% this trait its so draining Its like women want Men to be perfect movie characters that dont exist
Disenchantedly Yours Posted August 21, 2012 Posted August 21, 2012 Why are only mens personality traits so overanalyzed? Like a man must be alpha or hes not a real man and all these stupid alpha beta terms mostly used for men Then you have Men must always be "confident" and can never show weakness or insecurity like were robots PLus we should be 25% this 37% this trat 19% this trait its so draining Its like women want Men to be perfect movie characters that dont exist Because women tend to care about personality in men. Not saying women don't like physical looks but women appear to have a little more sself awareness about what they need from a man emtionally. Do you see how many threads crop around here about women's bodies? This is all a lot of guys want to talk about. They don't stop to hink about personality. That doesn't mean I don't think men don't take into account personality, but what men focus on is their body. They they wonder why they can't find a good woman or figure out women. They don't even know enough on an emotional level what they really need because they have spent all their time talking about and thinking about women in terms of only waht they want from them physically. 3
PJKino Posted August 21, 2012 Posted August 21, 2012 Because women tend to care about personality in men. Not saying women don't like physical looks but women appear to have a little more sself awareness about what they need from a man emtionally. Do you see how many threads crop around here about women's bodies? This is all a lot of guys want to talk about. They don't stop to hink about personality. That doesn't mean I don't think men don't take into account personality, but what men focus on is their body. They they wonder why they can't find a good woman or figure out women. They don't even know enough on an emotional level what they really need because they have spent all their time talking about and thinking about women in terms of only waht they want from them physically. Well we will agree to disagree on that its obvious your narrow view on men is holding you back.. My beef is that women want some perfect movie character man that doesnt exist.. I think some women overanalyze a mans personality traits..instead of just seeing having fun and seeing if theyres a connection any move a man makes early on well be psychoanalyzed and interepreted in their own way.. We seem to be held under a huge microscope and must be a leader must be this or that siimply because were males..
ThaWholigan Posted August 21, 2012 Posted August 21, 2012 Because women tend to care about personality in men. Not saying women don't like physical looks but women appear to have a little more sself awareness about what they need from a man emtionally. Do you see how many threads crop around here about women's bodies? This is all a lot of guys want to talk about. They don't stop to hink about personality. That doesn't mean I don't think men don't take into account personality, but what men focus on is their body. They they wonder why they can't find a good woman or figure out women. They don't even know enough on an emotional level what they really need because they have spent all their time talking about and thinking about women in terms of only waht they want from them physically. Likely we spend more time talking about women's physical appearance because that's what initially draws us to them the majority of the time. It's not the PC answer, but it's what I see mostly. Guys do tend to take personality into account, but it won't really mean much if the man isn't sexually attracted to her. I can honestly say that we DO talk about girls and their personalities a LOT more than given credit for, but it often doesn't go noticed among the mass amount of talk that gets given about women's physical attractiveness. And to be honest, women talk about our physical attractiveness just as much in my experiences. Why are only mens personality traits so overanalyzed? Like a man must be alpha or hes not a real man and all these stupid alpha beta terms mostly used for men Then you have Men must always be "confident" and can never show weakness or insecurity like were robots PLus we should be 25% this 37% this trat 19% this trait its so draining Its like women want Men to be perfect movie characters that dont exist It's not like that, you guys just see it like that because "it's too hard". I reiterate - making yourself attractive might take work, but it's not impossible. One of the main things is simply to identify your best characteristics, supplement them, and learn things that can make you more attractive i.e words, body language, movement etc. 1
ThaWholigan Posted August 21, 2012 Posted August 21, 2012 Well we will agree to disagree on that its obvious your narrow view on men is holding you back.. My beef is that women want some perfect movie character man that doesnt exist.. I think some women overanalyze a mans personality traits..instead of just seeing having fun and seeing if theyres a connection any move a man makes early on well be psychoanalyzed and interepreted in their own way.. We seem to be held under a huge microscope and must be a leader must be this or that siimply because were males.. To be fair, we analyze our own personalities way more than women do.
Recommended Posts