M30USA Posted August 21, 2012 Posted August 21, 2012 (edited) As time goes by in my separation (7 months), my mind starts to drift gradually back to my old self...my normal mind. And because of this I start forgetting about some of the insanity with my STBXW. But every so often it's like, BOOM, another nail is hammered into the coffin. It's almost like she is trying to drive me away. She always did throughout the marriage. Today, for example, she texted me asking for the address of the former baby sitter. Why? Because she wants to subpoena her to court in the hope that she can find some dirt on her. Which she won't. But it's like...I've already given STBXW the sitter's name and phone number. Does she want me to say, "Yes, here it is, and let me send a taxi right over there to escort you as you drop off the subpoena on her front door. Heck, let me go myself and drop it off in person." Does she think I'm stupid or is she just trying to piss me off? I am in no way evading legal court proceedings. I've already given her the phone number, her full name...and STBXW has even spoken on the phone with her in person! At this point it's no longer my responsibility. She is not employed as my sitter anymore. At this point it's an issue my STBXW needs to handle, not me. But this is yet another...nail in the coffin. Edited August 21, 2012 by M30USA
JD1977 Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 I think she is still trying to get you to fight for her. She has no reason to still be contacting you, other than to bring up things like this. In hopes it will start a fight or a conversation or anything she can get. It may not be over in her heart yet.
Author M30USA Posted August 22, 2012 Author Posted August 22, 2012 I think she is still trying to get you to fight for her. She has no reason to still be contacting you, other than to bring up things like this. In hopes it will start a fight or a conversation or anything she can get. It may not be over in her heart yet. I had to release my phone records to her party because of the discovery/disclosure process. The very next day every person who I frequently speak to tells me they got a call from RESTRICTED number. They said, "Hello?" Then...click. My lawyers said they're blowing a whole bunch of money on an investigator who is trying to see if there's "another woman".
JD1977 Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 Well as long as you were true to her you have nothing to worry about. Other than a ton of temporary frustration!
carhill Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 I doubt there's any law requiring you to accept her texts, voice mails, phone calls, door knocks, etc, etc. Simply disconnect all contacts and your lawyer can invite her to proceed through them. Yep, that can get expensive but you've got a goal, if I remember right. Focus on the goal. Everything else is noise.
Author M30USA Posted August 23, 2012 Author Posted August 23, 2012 I doubt there's any law requiring you to accept her texts, voice mails, phone calls, door knocks, etc, etc. Simply disconnect all contacts and your lawyer can invite her to proceed through them. Yep, that can get expensive but you've got a goal, if I remember right. Focus on the goal. Everything else is noise. Carhill, We had the hearing for her motion to modify orders. The judge ruled no change. Thankfully. Yet he did set a date for the final divorce proceeding.
carhill Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 Black hole, IMO. If the final proceeding is on the docket, complete radio silence until the hearing, with the lawyer responding to any procedural stuff and miscellaneous noise. I think I had you confused with another poster on goal. Sorry about that. Good luck and it does get better. My sympathies.
episkopos Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 Not a pleasant experience you are going through now. Just want to encourage you to be strong and joyful. It will be alright. I said a prayer for you. 1
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