mizundastud Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 Hello everyone, I have been using this forum for the past 3 years to cope with my very bad break up from my ex. Over the past 3 yrs I have been miserable and depressed feeling like I lost of a piece of me every since our break up. I have dated other guys and have had a 1 1/2 serious relationship but still could not get over him. Well currently after three years we are finally talking about getting back together, talking about starting a family and business together. Because I was so depressed about our separation I moved 14hrs away to another state. So now that we are in reconciliation mode we have discussed me moving back. I was so happy to have the love of my life back but now here is the problem. During our break up he had gotten back with his ex. They were living together but he moved out because he said she didn't want to change somethings that he couldn't deal with. Me and this girl hate each other and she has been a major part of a lot of our problems. I know that he has moved out because I visited home a couple weeks ago and been to his new place. The thing is I know that he still loves her and I have a big problem with that being as though she has gone out her way to cause problems in our relationship when we were together. In talking to him its seems to me that she is always going to be in the picture because they are still friends. I have a very hard time with that because I feel like how can you claim to love me so much but still associate yourself with someone who has tried so hard to break us up. Now I have the decision to make to move back home and still try to work it out something I have been wanting for the past 3 yrs, or let the situation go because of the problems that this girls causes? Please some advice on this. I love my ex very much but I have extreme anger towards this girl and I don't want to lash out and do something stupid. I just cant understand why he doesn't see through her manipulation and deceit. And also I am extremely jealous of his love for her. I'm confused because I don't want to go another 3 yrs being without him but I can't deal with this girl again.
salem mark Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 #1 Who dumped who? i assume it was him. #2 If he is in love with this other girl ( as you say) you would be very foolish to get back together with him sorry to be so blunt but i'm very on the money (usually) regarding peoples behavior in these situations. I could tell you why i feel this way if you're interested, if not I feel you will be in for alot more pain, wasted time, unlearned lessons,etc.
salem mark Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 he is the one you should have a problem with, not her. he was the one behaving badly and disrespecting you and your relationship
Author mizundastud Posted August 20, 2012 Author Posted August 20, 2012 I broke up with him because I am the one who put him out the house but I felt like way before I did that he had broken up with me mentally. I would actually like to hear the explanation to your response because he says that hes in love with me but I know that he really cares about her because he can never just cut all ties with her.
DarlingWallflower Posted August 21, 2012 Posted August 21, 2012 Hi there, Your situation seems very tough. I'll be very honest and say I don't think this is a good idea. That woman will always be in the picture and he clearly loves her. This guy wants it all. You should be frank and tell him to either cut off contact with her because she'll interfere in your relationship with you or to not ever bother. Honestly, I think that this guy is messing with you because he knows you have unconditional love. I don't know you but I do know that you don't deserve to be second best. You probably feel happy because you think you'll be whole again but that's actually something you should do yourself. You've been broken up for three years for a reason. You'll be happy initially if you make up with him but that will fade and your previous issues will resurface. I apologize if I sound harsh but I think you're better off finding a guy who does value you. Again, this is all based on my perception of what I have read. Cheers.
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