Feeling ****ty

[Car10e]

Its been a little over a month since I broke up with my ex bf. If you don't know my situation, my ex bf broke up with me and had a new girl the same week we split.

 

Over the weekend, our friends got engaged. The guy planned a trip to Vegas and surprised her with all her friends and family. I was originally invited, but since my ex and I broke up, obviously I didn't go. It was hard for me because I wanted to be there so bad. I talked to a friends that was there and just asked him how it was. He then told me that my ex asked about me. It kind of made me emotional, but then he also told me I hope it doesn't hurt you, but he seems happy. I really thought he would somewhat miss me, since I was always with him when he was with this group of friends. Maybe he was missing me, since he asked about me? I don't know, but I feel like **** today...and I know it's time to move on now. I guess the thing that is making me sad is the fact he is happy. I know he got a job offer for a full time position, which he has been trying for awhile now. He's got a new girlfriend, who is a lot younger than him. He just finished an internship he was at for a while. Things are looking up for him, while nothing is going right for me. It makes me so sad.

[weallfalldown]

things will look up for you, just believe in yourself. it wasn't meant to be. I've dumped people before, and been dumped.........just remember...would you be happier in the longrun knowing he wasn't happy?.....you'd be unhappy too, so see it as a blessing.......(hard i know).

[Car10e]

things will look up for you, just believe in yourself. it wasn't meant to be. I've dumped people before, and been dumped.........just remember...would you be happier in the longrun knowing he wasn't happy?.....you'd be unhappy too, so see it as a blessing.......(hard i know).

 

 

I want him to be happy. He wants me to be happy, which is why he ended things, because he felt like I wasn't happy enough with him. I guess its better that one of us is at least happy right now.

[Crila16]

Boy do I feel for you. I have been in your shoes more than once. Just please know you're not alone. It's so painful and there is nothing anyone can do to make the pain go away right now. When I'm feeling like that and someone says "Time heals all wounds"...I want to punch them out. The only thing you feel like doing is crawling out of your skin and taking a vacation from the pain.

 

Well...the good news is...you will get over it and you will meet someone new (and I promise...much better for you). Also, if your exes only happiness is due to his new girlfriend, then that's sad. I hope he's happy because he got a promotion and has other things positive going on in his life besides a new girlfriend.

 

As for the "you don't seem happy" excuse, for his reason for ending it. That's BS and a copout excuse. You two were most likely just not happy together. Usually the dumpee will glorify the relationship and only remember the good, but you really need to make a list of all the bad things that made you unhappy. That way you'll be closer to finding the someone for you, by knowing what you do and do not want in a mate.

 

Now...he's found a new girl...and it will be your turn soon. He's jumped right into a relationship (which I don't think is healthy) and you're taking your sweet time to mourn. This new girl could be a rebound relationship, but you don't know for sure. Usually the first girl after a long relationship is the rebound.

 

Also, the fact that he did ask about you, does show he's not such a bad, heartless guy. He does still care for you, but that doesn't mean there's a future for you two...though you never know. I don't know you 2 well enough to say either way. Here it is 10 years since one of my exes broke up with me, and he wants me back. It took 10 years....can you believe it? If only I had known then what I know now, I wouldn't have wasted my tears and being depressed all the time...over him.

[Car10e]

Boy do I feel for you. I have been in your shoes more than once. Just please know you're not alone. It's so painful and there is nothing anyone can do to make the pain go away right now. When I'm feeling like that and someone says "Time heals all wounds"...I want to punch them out. The only thing you feel like doing is crawling out of your skin and taking a vacation from the pain.

 

Well...the good news is...you will get over it and you will meet someone new (and I promise...much better for you). Also, if your exes only happiness is due to his new girlfriend, then that's sad. I hope he's happy because he got a promotion and has other things positive going on in his life besides a new girlfriend.

 

As for the "you don't seem happy" excuse, for his reason for ending it. That's BS and a copout excuse. You two were most likely just not happy together. Usually the dumpee will glorify the relationship and only remember the good, but you really need to make a list of all the bad things that made you unhappy. That way you'll be closer to finding the someone for you, by knowing what you do and do not want in a mate.

 

Now...he's found a new girl...and it will be your turn soon. He's jumped right into a relationship (which I don't think is healthy) and you're taking your sweet time to mourn. This new girl could be a rebound relationship, but you don't know for sure. Usually the first girl after a long relationship is the rebound.

 

Also, the fact that he did ask about you, does show he's not such a bad, heartless guy. He does still care for you, but that doesn't mean there's a future for you two...though you never know. I don't know you 2 well enough to say either way. Here it is 10 years since one of my exes broke up with me, and he wants me back. It took 10 years....can you believe it? If only I had known then what I know now, I wouldn't have wasted my tears and being depressed all the time...over him.

 

 

Hi, thanks for your response. I do feel like he is happy because of his new girlfriend, a new job, and he's almost done with college. Besides his new girlfriends, the last 2 things would've happened even if I was still with him. I just can't help but think, that he thinks things are going his way now that he is not with me. Its not that we weren't happy with each other, we were. But other problems (family & money problems) got in the way of us. He's the kind of guy that is very passionate about a few things. He has a routine each week that consists of work, playing in his basketball games, basketball practice, MMA fitness class, school, seeing his dad, and shopping. A lot of the time, he put these things before me. I saw him, if I went to those things. He was not willing to skip anything for me. Not even for my birthday. I know he is selfish. Instead of working things out with me, he chose the easy way out. He found a 19 year old girl whom he works with to do all the things I refused to do. I honestly, don't think it will work out between them, just because they see each other too much.

 

And like you mentioned, I'm pretty sure she is a rebound for him. I found out she was going around calling him her new bf the same week we broke up. I don't think it is possible for anyone to just stop thinking of someone after seeing/ talking to them after 4 1/2 years. I'm sure it is a little easier on him now considering its been a month.

 

I know he's not a heartless guy. It may seem like it, because of the way he handled everything (too long to explain). I'm sure he feels bad, and doesn't know what he can do. I don't even know what he would do. When he asked about me, he told his friends he still loves me. And I think that is what is making it hard for me to move on.

 

Before breaking up, he mentioned to me that maybe we should see other people to help us realize what we want. I didn't think he would actually do it (or as soon as he did), but the fact that he did bring up this point leads me to believe he thinks this is the best thing for the both of us. Which is probably is. The difference between me and him is that I don't want to jump into a relationship this fast. I want to get over him first, before I start seeing someone new. I don't want to think of him when I am with someone different, because thats not really fair to the new guy.

 

Ugh, you don't even know how tired I am of hearing, "Only time will tell," and "just move on." Its so easy to say it, but to be the person going through it, it is so much harder.

[Crila16]

19 years old? No. I would say that most likely won't last. Also...of course she's going to do whatever he wants and she'll be accomodating. She's 19.

 

As for him saying you should see other people to decide if this is what you want or not. He's kinda right. You guys are young and you have been in a 4-1/2 year relationship. That's a long time. So basically...you guys have been together since you were 16 or 17 years old? Is that right?

 

He's not going to just forget about you. He will miss and think about you. The girl is just a new shiny toy. They've been together a short while. They don't know much about each other. Let him explore other options right now. It's the only way you two will ever be able to be together again and know if it's really what you want...and not just because you two were comfortable with each other.

 

I know you're not ready yet, but if you end up dating a guy that actually isn't selfish with his time...and gives you a lot more attention...it's going to be addicting and you're going to realize, you may not even want your ex back. Give yourself other options to explore.

 

Your life is not over. You don't know how this will all turn out. One thing I do know it will turn out in your favor, whether you end up getting back with him or not.

[Car10e]

19 years old? No. I would say that most likely won't last. Also...of course she's going to do whatever he wants and she'll be accomodating. She's 19.

 

As for him saying you should see other people to decide if this is what you want or not. He's kinda right. You guys are young and you have been in a 4-1/2 year relationship. That's a long time. So basically...you guys have been together since you were 16 or 17 years old? Is that right?

 

He's not going to just forget about you. He will miss and think about you. The girl is just a new shiny toy. They've been together a short while. They don't know much about each other. Let him explore other options right now. It's the only way you two will ever be able to be together again and know if it's really what you want...and not just because you two were comfortable with each other.

 

I know you're not ready yet, but if you end up dating a guy that actually isn't selfish with his time...and gives you a lot more attention...it's going to be addicting and you're going to realize, you may not even want your ex back. Give yourself other options to explore.

 

Your life is not over. You don't know how this will all turn out. One thing I do know it will turn out in your favor, whether you end up getting back with him or not.

 

 

I really appreciate your responses, thanks! I was 18 when I began dating him, and he was 20 but closer to 21. We do have a little age difference, but not much. I know I was young when I started out with him, I saw him everyday where it became a problem. I noticed what needed to be done for the relationship to work, and that was not seeing each other every single day. Even though I didn't see him everyday, I talked to him on the phone and he texted me throughout the day, so its weird not being able to do that. I don't really have any strong urges to contact him, because I know I cant.

 

About his new girl, in a way, I feel bad for her. She goes to the gym with him, she goes to his basketball games with him, she goes to his fitness classes with him. She even works with him! So they literally spend everyday together, like him and I first did. I know it will be a problem later on.