irc333 Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 Had a conversation with a woman lately, completely unbiased views in her opinion, too. We got to talking, and she was giving me her own point of view, when men talk to her. These are men she knows in her circle of friends, however, she thinks that a man should be able to organically be able to tell she's not interested and not even bother asking her for her contact information or "getting together later" whilst they part ways. She said, body language, tone, even content of the dialogue, should be enough for him to "take the hint." She said a lot of guys aren't picking up on this vibe, and go for the digits anyways, and this creeps her out big time or just makes her uncomfortable, because it puts her in a position to outright reject him verbally. That having to SAY it, as oppose to portraying it IN her body language is something she doesn't like doing, and tends to blame men who do this I am on the fence about this, because as man, we have to pretty much do the asking out, asking for the phone # and so on. Either 1. Guys ignore her subtle hints, and ask anyways 2. Ask her anyways, JUST in case that wasn't a vibe. Anyone?
KathyM Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 You SHOULD be able to pick up hints that she is not interested, and then not pursue it further. If she's avoiding eye contact, giving brief answers, and her tone of voice has no warmth or softness to it, that would be a good indication to back off and not pursue it further. A lot of women don't want to come right out and say they are not interested. They hope you'll pick up on the body language/tone of voice and figure that out for yourself.
truth_seeker Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 You SHOULD be able to pick up hints that she is not interested, and then not pursue it further. If she's avoiding eye contact, giving brief answers, and her tone of voice has no warmth or softness to it, that would be a good indication to back off and not pursue it further. A lot of women don't want to come right out and say they are not interested. They hope you'll pick up on the body language/tone of voice and figure that out for yourself. Avoiding eye contact? Sometimes avoiding eye contact means they are nervous or intimidated by the person they are talking to. Doesn't necessarily mean they are not into you. Brief answers? Could mean the person is shy, nervous or intimidated. I've had women act very cold towards me and ignored them. What happens? They come over to me and ask why I won't talk to them. Go figure. I think women fear rejection as much as men and sometime disguise their interest as non-interest, to see if a man will be curious to go after them as a challenge. This way the woman doesn't have to make a move, fear being rejected by the man. She holds all the cards and can decide if she wants the guy or not. It's really a 6th sense you've got to have in order to pick up on this. The best answer I can give you is to go on your gut. If you get this bad feeling that a woman doesn't like you, then most likely, she doesn't. If you get a feeling a girl is into you, then mostly likely, she is. Go with your gut!
xxoo Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 IMO, it doesn't hurt to ask. If she doesn't like it....so what? But it is always better to work on social skills, and learn how to get a woman comfortable and engaged, and then ask her out once she is smiling and her eyes are twinkling in your direction. Better chance of success. 1
grkBoy Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 I think: 1) SOME...not "many" or "all"...women have no clue how to differentiate flirting from being friendly. Had a few in my life flirt like crazy, even one make out with me at a party...but then acted "surprised" when I asked them out. 2) Too many guys, especially ones who don't do well in dating, will either ignore the signs of disinterest or think every tiny little amount of attention is interest...mainly because they want a GF so badly they'll cling to anything they get. I know...I've been there. I learned now that a girl who is interested will want to talk to you all the time over everyone else, will make time to see you or make an effort to see you/be available for you, and will even go further to get you to notice her. So if she's dressed all hot, runs up to you at a party, hangs with you all night, has deep conversations with you and won't leave you to talk to other people and even brushes off other men hitting on her...then I'd say she likes you. If she gives you short answers, doesn't seem attentive to the conversation, always has to "go" when you get her on the phone (or you always get her voice mail), doesn't "hang out" with you at social things (even if she came with you)...then I'd say "nope...you will not get her". ESPECIALLY if she tells you about guys she thinks are "cute". I don't care if they're celebrities or local guys. You've been FZed. Give it up, she will not fall for you...not even if she's dumped by 10 of them. Only way she MIGHT fall for you is when one of those guys knocks her up and she's looking for a backup plan in life. 1
ptp Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 It is unreasonable for women to expect guys to be able to read their minds. Here is the thing though women are just as bad as men at reading these subtle signals. Sometimes a smile and a "Hi, how are you?" is code for ask me out, but most of the time it is just being polite. There is no way for a guy to know the difference. If she is getting out the pepper spray, okay I get, but a lot the "signs and signals" are impossible to read.
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