bluegreen Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 Hello to all fellow in LDR people hope your day is going great : ))) I am wondering about something we all will have or have been faced with : Our loves live way to far and some of us are meeting them for first time ever Yeah all this let him-her sleep in hotel room meet in daylight we also know that but what about intimacy has anyone wondered about that ? After so long of waiting feelings and wanting will build up for both sides how do we or did you behave in that situation did you end up sleeping together or first visits where only to meet up ( yes i know its personal question ) and am sorry for that Ladies where you worried about pregnancy ? Gentleman did this thought even occurred to you at all ? Am simply dying to know what's your experience so I might form right one to for both of us we talked about it and ended up agreeing we have to be "very careful' of not stepping over the line consequences of that are something neither can afford at least not until we live closer. But yes he was disappointed just like any guy man should I laugh or cry at this ridiculous situation am grown up adult and it makes no difference at all we love each other want each other to guys and ladies take a pity on me:laugh: and tell me what did you do and how did you overcome this issue ?
Balzac Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 By worried about pregnancy are you referring to 1% failure rate of some contraceptives? Not sure I understand your question.
Author bluegreen Posted August 20, 2012 Author Posted August 20, 2012 Well yes maybe am paranoid but I honestly can't afford to risk even that one pro cent failure now I know I sound foolish and naive but better that then being sorry. Am picture and story of starving student and we live just to far away for time being and might for while yet I guess my question was how did other people overcame this situation did they even have fears about this or not ?
Balzac Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 Unwilling to assume risk is a calculated decision and not foolish or paranoid. Many sexual acts can be shared absent the 1% risk. Have you discussed options in that regard?
Author bluegreen Posted August 20, 2012 Author Posted August 20, 2012 Yes we did discussed other options damn this is embarrassing subject even of we all are grown up here but anyway yeah we talked about it laughed pulled and pushed a little and somehow came to a middle ground. We will be as affectionate as we could be play at this or that but keep our heads level and yes of course you are right there are zillion things one can do we even talked about that and not risk trouble its just that am so nervous and want this to be "best" experience for both of us ...
Balzac Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 Are you experienced sexually? Have you taken action regarding a contraceptive method?
Author bluegreen Posted August 20, 2012 Author Posted August 20, 2012 YES : ))) I really did not mean to come out like complete Innocent lamb I should have formed my question better but am also not a type to throw caution to a wind either as well and that was point of my post. Thank you for your posts ....
Balzac Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 Hah! You're amusing in your angst and shyness. Helz girl~you'll survive this. Your libido will ignite and you'll forget your shyness and unleash the vixen.
Author bluegreen Posted August 20, 2012 Author Posted August 20, 2012 O not you to he was teasing me about same thing and how will it actually be ME who is going to take advantage of him and ..... o well Yes I imagine am sounding amusing as hell more I try not to more I fail heck maybe miracle will happen maybe he will get a job and stay and ... damn post its not even letting me edit worse stuff
Balzac Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 Keep it in the present. Never lose hope. Always be a fool for love. Have fun with it. Let yourself go and stop worrying who does what to whom. He'll get an erection and you'll be swooning. It's nature's way. Now start making your list of wants to check off.
HeavenOrHell Posted August 21, 2012 Posted August 21, 2012 Just use the same contraception you've used in any other r/ship. It's entirely up to the two of you whether you have sex the first time you meet or not, some couples do, some don't, it's what feels right for the two of you
justwhoiam Posted August 21, 2012 Posted August 21, 2012 Hello to all fellow in LDR people hope your day is going great : ))) Not so... but thanks. what about intimacy has anyone wondered about that ? There's so much anticipation, that guessing what it will be like is just natural, speaking as a girl. But he was rather nervous the first time he met me. He said he wanted me to have a good first impression of him. Because that's important... (his words). I was not in love with him the first time we met. We met just as friends. So I was not expecting anything to happen. Thus my case is a bit different there. Then, by the second time, we were both in love with each other. He was already in love with me somehow, but after meeting it grew exponentially. Yet, making love with him didn't sound real for several reasons. We got intimate but we didn't get to that. I guess our bodies were pretty ready, but our minds not completely so... The attraction was hitting the roof though, at least for me. And he said it was for him too. Of course it's not just about sex, it wouldn't work for me. So no, I was not in the least worried about pregnancy. He said he so wanted to, but respected me, knowing I didn't want to make love with him yet. Now we're meeting again, and I guess things will be different this time. We both feel like taking it to the next level, with commitment. I simply can't have sex with someone without any form of commitment. So, I speak for myself, I wouldn't engage in casual sex. As you said, there's always a remote chance of pregnancy. Therefore, you really need to be sure whom you're going to have sex with. What his views are, etc. If you don't share the same views on such important life matters, it's going to be an issue.
blugirl Posted August 21, 2012 Posted August 21, 2012 (edited) I've been wondering about it, too..... so I couldn't hold it in any longer and decided to ask him about his thoughts on intimacy on the first meeting.... turns out we have a bit of a different view I said we won't do anything on the first meeting for sure, although I can imagine how much the desire would burn in me with his slightest touch but I simply can't imagine doing that the first time we meet, it's just too soon for me to feel comfortable enough I guess, besides I want to get to know him well first so that sex won't affect my judgement. He agrees with me and not at the same time, lol, cause he says we can say that we won't do anything but we will only know once we meet cause our reactions and comfort level can't be predicted. On one hand I have to agree that you can't predict anything in life, especially seeing how other people here on loveshack said how they were sure they won't do anything on the first meeting and then....first thing they did arriving at a hotel was having sex with their SO, LOL. So based on that his words sound wise but on the other... I just can't imagine making love with him on our first meeting Edited August 21, 2012 by blugirl
Author bluegreen Posted August 21, 2012 Author Posted August 21, 2012 Not so... but thanks. There's so much anticipation, that guessing what it will be like is just natural, speaking as a girl. But he was rather nervous the first time he met me. He said he wanted me to have a good first impression of him. Because that's important... (his words). I was not in love with him the first time we met. We met just as friends. So I was not expecting anything to happen. Thus my case is a bit different there. Then, by the second time, we were both in love with each other. He was already in love with me somehow, but after meeting it grew exponentially. Yet, making love with him didn't sound real for several reasons. We got intimate but we didn't get to that. I guess our bodies were pretty ready, but our minds not completely so... The attraction was hitting the roof though, at least for me. And he said it was for him too. Of course it's not just about sex, it wouldn't work for me. So no, I was not in the least worried about pregnancy. He said he so wanted to, but respected me, knowing I didn't want to make love with him yet. Now we're meeting again, and I guess things will be different this time. We both feel like taking it to the next level, with commitment. I simply can't have sex with someone without any form of commitment. So, I speak for myself, I wouldn't engage in casual sex. As you said, there's always a remote chance of pregnancy. Therefore, you really need to be sure whom you're going to have sex with. What his views are, etc. If you don't share the same views on such important life matters, it's going to be an issue. Those are my thoughts to no matter how crazy am about him my tummy goes crazy just by thinking of those first moments first half an hour and what if's how do people manage to jump in a sack with someone in that situation I can't even begin to understand that. Does not the enter the mind at all fear holding out for that special moment am more confused than ever
justwhoiam Posted August 21, 2012 Posted August 21, 2012 Well, I guess he's just doing his part... Men tend to be more assertive. What you should definitely talk about is: what if...? After his answers to all your whatifs, you'll have an idea on what to do... Anyway, I agree, these things are kind of unpredictable. Maybe he comes with condoms. Good luck.
Author bluegreen Posted August 22, 2012 Author Posted August 22, 2012 Yeah little by little we are talking about it but as you said first he is a man and like any other they think about 3 things only food sport and getting laid . But am glad there where few other people who wondered and asked about same thing ...
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