midnitebuterfly Posted July 16, 2004 Posted July 16, 2004 Hey all, I posted once on here. At that time I had a boyfriend. But we broke up about four days a ago. It's along long story and I don't want to tell it over again. I just want some advice from guys.. Or i should say what does this all mean.. Me and Chris (my ex) had a huge blow out. I did wrong ok. I know Idid and I said I am sorry and such. What I did was lie.. I lied to him not once but three times. I loved him and still do. But, I tol dhim I knew I did wrong and he just doesn't see that atleast I admitted to it and I would try to fix it.. But we are done. Why does he make me feel bad? Like it's all my fault. Most of it is. But he makes me fele that he never did love me. B/c what he said to me and he knew my past and it was a very bad one. Childhood that is. So, why did he try to make me feel bad? I don't get it.. Thanks Jennifer
havNfun Posted July 16, 2004 Posted July 16, 2004 well I am sorry about your childhood. Lots of people had bad childhoods. not all of them became liars. your boyfriend has everyright to as best he can erase all memory of you. perhaps you should stop lying? why did you lie? So you could have your cake and eat it to I imagine. you've got whatever's comming good luck
ntovrhm Posted July 16, 2004 Posted July 16, 2004 Don't know if you can get a good answer without more specifics.
kizmet74 Posted July 16, 2004 Posted July 16, 2004 Originally posted by midnitebuterfly So, why did he try to make me feel bad? I don't get it.. If you hurt someone, it's human nature that they try to hurt you in return. I'm not saying EVERYONE will do it. But it takes a strong person to overcome this instinct.
Author midnitebuterfly Posted July 16, 2004 Author Posted July 16, 2004 OK listen havNfun, I know i lied I know I did wrong. I am trying to change that OK. Yea, well, that goes to show me that he didn't love me as he said he did. My question was.. Do guys show there feelings? I mean he already has a girlfriend! I mean come on. He said he loved me and ****. You don't get over someone that fast when you "say" you love them.
havNfun Posted July 16, 2004 Posted July 16, 2004 I think it is a person thing - if one shows their feelings. I show my feelings. some guys are players and don't. my X girlfriend said she loved me unconditionaly one day, and dumped me out of the blue the next without feeling. So, obviously she was showing her true feelings. so, I think their are those of us who have heart and are very honest, and those that are robots and simulate feeling in order to use us
Miss_Prolixity Posted July 16, 2004 Posted July 16, 2004 Hi Midnite, It's kindof hard to give advice when you don't know the whole story behind it. But I will say that when someones hurt, sometimes they will lash out. He's probably speaking with a lot of anger and venom right now. Since you hurt him, he wants to retaliate and hurt you, just so you can feel the pain as much as he does. Right now, I would let him have his peace. Sometimes people need time alone to collect their thoughts. If you've apologized sincerely, just give it time and see what happens from there.
Dixiecron Posted July 16, 2004 Posted July 16, 2004 Depends on what you lied about. Figure out why you lied, and what you can do to fix that problem, then you won't have the same problem in the next relationship. Lies destroy trust. You usually can't get that trust back.
RoboHobo Posted July 16, 2004 Posted July 16, 2004 All the previous posts are correct. Lies do destroy trust and he probably has decided that he needs to move on with his life because of that. I'm sure he did or does still love you and his getting a girlfriend shouldn't be used as an indication that he doesn't. He is probably hurting a lot inside and has turned to someone else to help him deal with it. Conversely he might just be one of those guys who just don't have a huge emotional capacity. There are a lot of them out there. I agree that four days seems way to soon, it isn't good for either of you guys, but if you split up and don't see any course for reconciliation you need to move on with your life despite what he may do. Try to figure out why you lie and change that. I have the deepest sympathy for people who come from bad childhoods, my girlfriend broke up with me last week even though we both love each other greatly. She is an amazing person who I will always love but because of her childhood she finds relationships hard to deal with because of her emotional baggage. I hope that we will be able to be together again, but first she needs to resolve her past. I think that you need to do the same. Don't let your past hinder your future, face it now and become a better person for yourself.
Author midnitebuterfly Posted July 16, 2004 Author Posted July 16, 2004 Hey Rob, Thanks for all you have said. Chris is VERY still angry and we talked last night b/c he needed something or other, and he said some that VERY hurtful, and I will never ever forget what he said,.. I told little lies and his ex g/f of 6 yrs did that to him and she cheated on him, the think is I would never ever cheat on him. Also, he claims he was there for me the whole time we where together and he wasnt.. But, I am going to try and see why I lie.. I know it has something to do with my past. I know one thing for sure I am not going to get back with him. I'v tried and its over. No more for me I have ahad enough. I got what I wanted to know.. Thnaks all for your comments!
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