spiderowl Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 Can you tell if a guy is going to ask you out? The reason I ask this is I nearly always can. I don't think I'm psychic or anything but I pick up on all sorts of signs, like body language, attention, the kind of questions he asks, things he wants to talk about, the way the conversation is leading ... I see some women who don't seem to have any idea if a guy likes them or not. Some give off really confusing signals to guys, like frequently turning their back on guys they like (weird!) and some end up chasing guys that are giving off very clear signals they are not attracted. Other women seem so blatant about their flirting in public that it seems obvious to all and sundry - aren't they aware that they are so obvious? Am I unusual in noticing these things? I do find it difficult at times like when I want to tell a friend that the guy she likes is not remotely interested in her. I don't but is that the right thing to do? For all I know, he might change his mind one day.
Tea Leaf Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 I think your friends who aren't noticing are either poor at reading social signals or are just trying to make themselves believe it's going to work. It's not uncommon to ignore the obvious and look for signs that what you want to be could be. I'm not always sure how to react to the second...
VodkaShots Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 Can you tell if a guy is going to ask you out? The reason I ask this is I nearly always can. I don't think I'm psychic or anything but I pick up on all sorts of signs, like body language, attention, the kind of questions he asks, things he wants to talk about, the way the conversation is leading ... Usually, I can. Like you said, it's the way the conversation has been flowing. Or in some cases you can tell they're interested from day one because some men cling on quite early (or has happened to me once anyway). I see some women who don't seem to have any idea if a guy likes them or not. Some give off really confusing signals to guys, like frequently turning their back on guys they like (weird!) and some end up chasing guys that are giving off very clear signals they are not attracted. Other women seem so blatant about their flirting in public that it seems obvious to all and sundry - aren't they aware that they are so obvious? Am I unusual in noticing these things? I do find it difficult at times like when I want to tell a friend that the guy she likes is not remotely interested in her. I don't but is that the right thing to do? For all I know, he might change his mind one day. I can't speak for most women but I think if a woman has no idea he's interested, she's probably not that interested herself, and most women like to put the onus of making the first move on the man, so they will pay attention to his signals and stuff accordingly. I cringe when women throw themselves at men who aren't interested and can't read obvious signals, but I think it's one of those things that should be left to herself to find out the hard way. Otherwise you risk embarrassing her and causing her to go all defensive and possibly arguments. I know when I fell head over heels for someone who wasn't interested in me, I would willingly ignore anyone who told me it wasn't going to happen/wasn't likely (even if I knew it deep down).
Author spiderowl Posted August 20, 2012 Author Posted August 20, 2012 It is difficult when you have a friend who can't seem to tell someone's not interested when it's really obvious to you. What do you do? It would be hurtful to tell them the truth - and who knows, things may change - but if you don't tell them in some way, they are just hurting themselves. At the moment, I don't say anything but then I feel guilty too. I see people all the time making the most fundamental errors: guys that like a girl and yet when they are with her, they drink too much (much too much) and start slurring and they 'entertain' her with talk about computers and gadgets. Yes, I know some women like computers and gadgets but this one was really turned off! He liked her too It seems guys tend to be worse than women at reading signs and knowing where they are going wrong (imho). What do you think? They seem to forget that personal hygiene matters a lot too - unkempt beards, scruffy shapeless hair, South Park t-shirts, smelly, bad breath - you name it. How do these guys think they are going to get a girl like that?
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