jackson74280 Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 I was one of the many here who was left heart broken with my break up. I wanted her back so bad. I followed all the advice you see...no begging, and went strict NC. It worked! After about a month she came back saying that she couldn't stop thinking about me, made a mistake, etc. We started talking again, and then 3 weeks later it was over again. Careful what you wish for. If you are fresh out of a break up and desperate to get your ex back.....ask yourself an important question. Do you really want THEM back, or do you simply want to make the pain go away? Ask yourself some serious questions and try to be honest with yourself: IF they come back are you going to be able to deal with the trust issues? Are you truely happy with this person...or is it more of a convienance? It's time to focus on the long term picture. If your honest with yourself and realize that it's the pain of the breakup that makes you want your ex back....your better off just accepting things and going NC to heal. Give up on the hope. It will hurt, but at least you won't be dragging out the hurt for an extended period of time. Just my opinion from someone who actually got my ex back, just to go through the whole break up again......prolonging the depression.
soccerrprp Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 jackson, sorry, man! did you break up the second time for the SAME reasons? did you break it or did she this time? i know what you mean... careful what you wish for...
Author jackson74280 Posted August 20, 2012 Author Posted August 20, 2012 First time, she broke it off because she still had feelings for her ex. When she came back I asked her directly if she was now over her ex. Her response, "yes, I would not be talking to you now if that wasn't the case." 3 weeks after that she is back with the ex again. I ended it the second time, but simply because I found out she was seeing him again. I have my suspicions that she never stopped seeing him....but only suspicions. She would have ended it the second time if I didn't, so doesn't really matter who ended it. My point of the original post was....once I got some time and the raw emotion of the break started to fade I realized that I never liked her specifically....I simply liked being in a relationship like the one she provided. Wishing I would have just stuck to NC and not started things back up with her when she came back. Would be in a much happier place now had I of done that. I realize now it would have never worked out anyways because I would have always been dealing with the trust and self confidence issues as she choose another guy over me. When you are in pain from a breakup you are all focused on relieving the pain by getting the person back....and hoping. You really should be asking yourself if you could live with it IF they came back. If not = no hoping = easier to get over it.
ThatJustHappened Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 I'm all for being honest and not giving people false hope, and frankly most people aren't going to get their exes back, break ups happen for a reason..but that is an awfully broad statement. You and your ex got back together WAY too soon after the break up, and the reason you broke up was because she liked someone else. Not everyones situation is the same as yours.
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